Should you join a "lower tier" sorority?

[navane]

Originally Posted by AlphaXi_Husky

Is it similar? Yes. The same? Not entirely.

One of the bigger differences I can think of is if you're needing to constantly COB (as in not just two or three people). That can be really draining on members and take up time from other activities (school or sorority related). I've worked with chapters who rarely have to COB and those who have to COB constantly. It's a lot more work for the latter chapters and definitely affects chapter dynamics.

And of course, there could be reasons for the need to constantly COB that affects chapter dynamics as well (high turnover indicating poor chapter health).

I agree. I think that, for a chapter with fewer members than the others, the constant pressure to "catch-up" and the practical need for the members to have to double-up on officer positions has the potential to wear the membership down after a while. So, while holding a formal or philanthropy event is the same in concept, the practicalities of it are not at all the same experience. In other words, it's twice the work for a chapter half the size of her campus counterparts. That said, the very core function of our existence, sisterhood, should indeed be essentially the same.

[Jen]

I'm thinking the "lower tier" chapters at places like Bama and Ole Miss wouldn't have a COB issue ... the experience at places with big greek systems where quota and total are high are probably much more similar than a smaller system where you'd top out at 30-40 members.

[OldFLDDD]

It does seem to me, on many campuses, that the "lower tier"/less desirable houses are often those with smaller membership nationwide, so this could also be a consideration. You'd still be able to find alumnae down the road, but it might be less common to come across a sister in day-to-day life if the house you are in has a lower number of total members vs. some of the larger GLOs. Just an additional consideration--not to steer anyone away from a smaller house where they feel at home! Some GLOs are also stronger in certain regions of the country than others also.

[33girl]

^^I think it’s more the age of the sorority chapter than its national size that determines that, FWIW.

[Sphinxie]

Having been through this with my daughter, I would say yes, if it's the type of school where it's important to be Greek. My daughter rushed freshman year at a very large state school with 12 chapters. She's attractive, petite, had good high school grades, and was involved in activities. However, hardly anyone from her high school went to that college, so she knew maybe 2-3 sorority members, none well. Nonetheless, she went to the full schedule of parties, including one group considered "top tier," for the first two invitational days.

The day of pref, she got cut by all but two sororities, which, because they're the only unhoused chapters on that campus, are considered lower tier. She says now that, had she not been invited back by the top tier house the day BEFORE pref, she might have had her hopes in a realistic place and stayed for pref. As it was, however, she was simply devastated and quit. I feel like she was also excessively concerned about what her high school friends might think because of Facebook, Instagram, and Greek rank.

She tried to get involved in other activities. She made one friend in -- surprise, surprise -- the better of the two groups she'd rejected. She made a few other friends in another lower tier sorority that cut her at pref. However, it was always a struggle to find someone to go out with. She became increasingly sad and dissatisfied with school.

Junior year, she decided to suck it up and rush again. Due to being a junior, and also, mediocre grades (brought on, in part, by her depression), she ended up being cut by all but one sorority from the first invitational night. The one sorority was the one she'd rejected in the first place, where she'd had a friend. Every day of rush, I hoped and prayed they'd keep inviting her back. The day of pref, when she didn't get "the call," I knew she was safe.

She's been in that rejected sorority for a month now. She's completely happy, and her grades are As and Bs. She's going bowling, to football games, or out with her big sis. Also, can I say that, having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! I went to a smaller, private college with a smaller Greek system (though still in the South), and most of these girls would have gotten into good sororities, based upon their appearance. I don't know what the girls in the top tier sororities must look like!

Also, at her school, all the sororities are roughly the same size. At my university, the "good" sororities were close to total while the lesser ones had fewer members (and because they were overall smaller chapters, fewer members meant 35 girls when total was 55). At this school, sororities have 150+ members. How can you not find anyone you like in 150 members?

I know it's easy to say not to worry about what people think, but if my daughter hadn't worried so much about what mostly anonymous strangers online said about this sorority, she could have been happy for the past two years. I feel like it's better to join a lower-tier sorority than none at all. You can always quit.

[DGTess]

I'm so happy she found her place, but this grates on my nerves: "having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! "

Pictures do NOT tell you if there is something wrong.

[SigmaCat]

Originally Posted by DGTess

I'm so happy she found her place, but this grates on my nerves: "having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! "

Pictures do NOT tell you if there is something wrong.

Yup.

[Jen]

Originally Posted by DGTess

I'm so happy she found her place, but this grates on my nerves: "having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! "

Pictures do NOT tell you if there is something wrong.

As an Alpha Phi, this is very true lol.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by Jen

As an Alpha Phi, this is very true lol.

I was actually thinking the bullying DG from a couple of years ago, but yeah ... that's the point.

[Sphinxie]

Originally Posted by DGTess

I was actually thinking the bullying DG from a couple of years ago, but yeah ... that's the point.

I guess there's a joke I'm not getting?

[Sororitysock]

Originally Posted by Sphinxie

Having been through this with my daughter, I would say yes, if it's the type of school where it's important to be Greek. My daughter rushed freshman year at a very large state school with 12 chapters. She's attractive, petite, had good high school grades, and was involved in activities. However, hardly anyone from her high school went to that college, so she knew maybe 2-3 sorority members, none well. Nonetheless, she went to the full schedule of parties, including one group considered "top tier," for the first two invitational days.

The day of pref, she got cut by all but two sororities, which, because they're the only unhoused chapters on that campus, are considered lower tier. She says now that, had she not been invited back by the top tier house the day BEFORE pref, she might have had her hopes in a realistic place and stayed for pref. As it was, however, she was simply devastated and quit. I feel like she was also excessively concerned about what her high school friends might think because of Facebook, Instagram, and Greek rank.

She tried to get involved in other activities. She made one friend in -- surprise, surprise -- the better of the two groups she'd rejected. She made a few other friends in another lower tier sorority that cut her at pref. However, it was always a struggle to find someone to go out with. She became increasingly sad and dissatisfied with school.

Junior year, she decided to suck it up and rush again. Due to being a junior, and also, mediocre grades (brought on, in part, by her depression), she ended up being cut by all but one sorority from the first invitational night. The one sorority was the one she'd rejected in the first place, where she'd had a friend. Every day of rush, I hoped and prayed they'd keep inviting her back. The day of pref, when she didn't get "the call," I knew she was safe.

She's been in that rejected sorority for a month now. She's completely happy, and her grades are As and Bs. She's going bowling, to football games, or out with her big sis. Also, can I say that, having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! I went to a smaller, private college with a smaller Greek system (though still in the South), and most of these girls would have gotten into good sororities, based upon their appearance. I don't know what the girls in the top tier sororities must look like!

Also, at her school, all the sororities are roughly the same size. At my university, the "good" sororities were close to total while the lesser ones had fewer members (and because they were overall smaller chapters, fewer members meant 35 girls when total was 55). At this school, sororities have 150+ members. How can you not find anyone you like in 150 members?

I know it's easy to say not to worry about what people think, but if my daughter hadn't worried so much about what mostly anonymous strangers online said about this sorority, she could have been happy for the past two years. I feel like it's better to join a lower-tier sorority than none at all. You can always quit.

Originally Posted by Sphinxie

Well, my daughter is telling me there is nothing wrong with these girls. And she is pickier than I am, which is how she got into this situation! Tbh, she had said this group was nice, even her first time rushing. But as far as the pictures, unless they're making a hundred girls with bad teeth and unibrows hide in the closet and not post on any social media, they look reasonably well-taken care of and fashionable.

I will say the size of the chapters is kind of a factor. The worst sorority at my college, back in the 80s, had fewer than a dozen members. I think there is value to joining in order to have a group to hang around with. I can't see paying dues to join a group that's about to go under.

QFP

[Sphinxie]

Originally Posted by DGTess

I'm so happy she found her place, but this grates on my nerves: "having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! "

Pictures do NOT tell you if there is something wrong.

Well, my daughter is telling me there is nothing wrong with these girls. And she is pickier than I am, which is how she got into this situation! Tbh, she had said this group was nice, even her first time rushing. But as far as the pictures, unless they're making a hundred girls with bad teeth and unibrows hide in the closet and not post on any social media, they look reasonably well-taken care of and fashionable.

I will say the size of the chapters is kind of a factor. The worst sorority at my college, back in the 80s, had fewer than a dozen members. I think there is value to joining in order to have a group to hang around with. I can't see paying dues to join a group that's about to go under.

[Sororitysock]

Originally Posted by DGTess

I'm so happy she found her place, but this grates on my nerves: "having seen the photos people post on her social media pages, there is NOTHING wrong with these girls! "

Pictures do NOT tell you if there is something wrong.

For someone who claims she hasn't been involved with her sorority since the 80s, she seems rather obsessed with tiers, especially since it looks like her own sorority chapter folded sometime around her active years.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Sororitysock

For someone who claims she hasn't been involved with her sorority since the 80s, she seems rather obsessed with tiers, especially since it looks like her own sorority chapter folded sometime around her active years.

What a rude thing to say. If you can still delete, you ought to.

[carnation]

Bumping for discussion.