My Fall Recruitment Thread - Page 4

Ggirl617 · #1 10-05-2009, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baci

I would not reveal my school, my sorority, or any other information that people can use to piece together who you are!

I hope you can work through all of your issues. Best of Luck to you.

I agree and thank you.

FSUZeta · #2 10-05-2009, 02:22 PM

ggirl, we are saying not to reveal your school or sorority in the event that someone from your school or worse still, your chapter, comes on greekchat, reads your thread and realizes who you are and how you really feel about your sorority.

it may be just something that is lost in the translation from you to the computer, but it sounds as if you are looking for reasons to be unhappy with your chapter and that you are not sure if you will continue your membership. it could be that i(we) have misinterpreted what you are trying to convey in written word, but if more than a few of us are interpreting your feelings in this way, then others might also-people who are from your chapter or your school. it could hurt you and it certainly would hurt your sorority sisters.

we can't make you love your sorority. that is something you are going to have to do on your own. your chapter has sent out an email inviting any of you who would like to, to bring a friend over to be considered for membership. this could be your opportunity to change the direction that you feel the sorority is headed in. instead of this being a burden, it could be a positive thing.your chapter is giving you and your pledge sisters(as well as the initiated members) a chance to make a decision that could change the way your chapter is perceived on campus, by allowing you to have a say by bringing a prospective member over for the sisters to meet. not many new members get a chance like this this early in their membership. it is a glass half full or half empty situation and i look at it as a half full one.

Ggirl617 · #3 10-05-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

ggirl, we are saying not to reveal your school or sorority in the event that someone from your school or worse still, your chapter, comes on greekchat, reads your thread and realizes who you are and how you really feel about your sorority.

it may be just something that is lost in the translation from you to the computer, but it sounds as if you are looking for reasons to be unhappy with your chapter and that you are not sure if you will continue your membership. it could be that i(we) have misinterpreted what you are trying to convey in written word, but if more than a few of us are interpreting your feelings in this way, then others might also-people who are from your chapter or your school. it could hurt you and it certainly would hurt your sorority sisters.

we can't make you love your sorority. that is something you are going to have to do on your own. your chapter has sent out an email inviting any of you who would like to, to bring a friend over to be considered for membership. this could be your opportunity to change the direction that you feel the sorority is headed in. instead of this being a burden, it could be a positive thing.your chapter is giving you and your pledge sisters(as well as the initiated members) a chance to make a decision that could change the way your chapter is perceived on campus, by allowing you to have a say by bringing a prospective member over for the sisters to meet. not many new members get a chance like this this early in their membership. it is a glass half full or half empty situation and i look at it as a half full one.

No, I know, and I agree (about the revealing aspect).

I'm not looking for reasons to be unhappy I just don't deny that it exists. I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO FORGET ALL THIS AND BE HAPPY WITH EYELINER. THAT IS WHY I AM HERE TRYING (sorry FSUZeta, I am not yelling this at you, I just want to let everyone know)

I will give inviting my friends an honest effort. Any tips on how to approach people to ask about it?

Ggirl617 · #4 10-05-2009, 03:06 PM

Also, I'd like to say that there are many positive things about eyeliner. I think I haven't conveyed them as much because obviously I am all good with them! I mention the negative things because those are the issues, so I want to take a second and tell everyone why eyeliner is AMAZING!

1)Probably the nicest and most accepting girls you have ever met in your life
2)Hilarious, full of energy
3)Philanthropy that is centered in my hometown!!
4)Love to go out and have fun
5)Best bid day shirts I've ever seen (alright not so significant but I thought I'd throw it in there)
6)The girls care not only about the social aspects of the sorority, but are serious about school too

ETC ETC

FSUZeta · #5 10-05-2009, 03:34 PM

see those are all good , concrete things!! and this is the first you have mentioned them.

i can promise you that there are new members in every chapter anywhere, that are wondering "what if ?" or the proverbial "grass in always greener". i think that is human nature, but it seemed to be approaching obsessive in your posts. i am glad to see some positive things about eyeliner.

if your chapter has a house and serves meals, invite a friend over to share a meal. if not, try to arrange with some of your sisters to meet you and your friend in the cafeteria/food court for lunch, or at starbucks for a coffee. i would imagine that your vp recruitment will be holding some organized events, but you could email her to see.

does your chapter have a day where you all wear your letters or dress up and wear your badges? the chapter i advise does both those things, and on the letters day, they make an effort to sit as a group in the cafeteria-of course, they have girls coming and going as their class schedules dictate. that would be a good day to ask a friend to join you. if your chapter doesn't do this-maybe they would if you suggested it.

ASTalumna06 · #6 10-05-2009, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

Also, I'd like to say that there are many positive things about eyeliner.

1)Probably the nicest and most accepting girls you have ever met in your life
2)Hilarious, full of energy
3)Philanthropy that is centered in my hometown!!
4)Love to go out and have fun
5)Best bid day shirts I've ever seen (alright not so significant but I thought I'd throw it in there)
6)The girls care not only about the social aspects of the sorority, but are serious about school too

ETC ETC

It's nice to hear you say some positive things about your chapter, as well.

I think the reason some of us are taking issue with it is this: There are PNMs here ALL THE TIME who are upset because things didn't work out the way they wanted. There are a ton of threads that are titled, "Thinking about dropping my sorority" and "Not what I thought it would be" and "Questioning my decision", etc. Here's the difference though... the majority of the time, girls complain because:

1) They don't feel as if their sisters are welcoming and accepting.
2) The chapter is kind of boring and not energetic about much of anything.
3) They don't do many philanthropy projects.
4) They don't go out that often and aren't as social as other chapters.
5) The worst bid day shirts! (just kidding)
6) The members' BACs are higher than their GPAs.

And some feel that there is no sense of sisterhood.

The chapter you're a part of seems to have all of the things that a great sorority should be.

I can understand that in the beginning, it's natural to have doubts. And I know you've said you want to give the chapter a chance... so please do that! Don't get caught up in them having lower dues (when you don't know the reasons why). And don't feel that it's devastating that the chapter has to COB. Many chapters do. Something I would encourage you to do is to ask questions! And not of us, but of the sisters. That's what they're there for.. to help you through the process.

ISUKappa · #7 10-05-2009, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I'm not looking for reasons to be unhappy I just don't deny that it exists. I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO FORGET ALL THIS AND BE HAPPY WITH EYELINER. THAT IS WHY I AM HERE TRYING (sorry FSUZeta, I am not yelling this at you, I just want to let everyone know)

I will give inviting my friends an honest effort. Any tips on how to approach people to ask about it?

I know it's only been a week or so and you're still adjusting. It's just going to take time, as difficult as it is sometimes. You don't have to convince us of anything which is kind of what it feels like you're trying to do (again, much is probably being lost in translation). Everyone has had those "what if" moments. I know I had them plenty of times even during my junior and senior year. You just have to shake them off and tell yourself "For better or worse, this is how things ended up, and I'm going to make the best of it!"

The things you listed that are amazing about Eyeliner are Awesome! Keep focusing on those! Like gee_ess suggested, keep adding more to the list as you continue in your new member period.

As far as inviting friends - I think asking them to go get coffee or ice cream with some other pledge sisters is a good idea. Wear your bid day shirt or other letter shirts around campus. If your chapter has any upcoming open events (philanthropy, etc...) invite them to that.

Ggirl617 · #8 10-05-2009, 05:16 PM

I know everyone just says ignore the bad. Again, I can't. For me, it will not simply go away. I think a lot of this is time. This is very VERY recent.

I will see if there are any recruitment events I can actually bring the girls too. Otherwise, if it is just done more casually, what sort of things can I say? I just can't think of how I can phrase it to bring it up. "Want to join a sorority?" I dunno that sounds weird to me.

Ggirl617 · #9 10-19-2009, 03:42 PM

hey guys i was elected new member panhellenic representative

gee_ess · #10 10-05-2009, 03:37 PM

Like SO SO many other things in life, it is important to focus on the good and ignore the bad. It is time for you to do just that.

Keep adding to the list (daily if you can) of positives about eyeliner. Also, Eevery time you entertain a negative or bad thought about your sorority, quickly turn your thoughts elsewhere.

Soon, the negative will begin to fade because you will have put so much more emphasis on the positive aspects of eyeliner.

AOII Angel · #11 10-05-2009, 05:27 PM

Don't ask them if they want to join. That's not your job. Ask them if they would like to meet some of your friends. Let your sisters do the rest.

Ggirl617 · #12 10-05-2009, 05:30 PM

the actives you mean?

FSUZeta · #13 10-05-2009, 06:18 PM

just have a few of your pledge sisters or initiated sisters who you are close to get together with you and one of your independent friends-just hang out in the school food court/cafeteria or at starbucks or an ice cream parlor. don't even mention anything about recruitment-few people mention marriage on the first date. the first time it's just a group of friends you think might hit it off having some fun together. then if your indy friend likes the sorority sisters she meets, you might ask her to get together again with them to do something else-maybe by that time there will be an organized recruitment event and you could ask your friend to that.

in the mean time, try to find out how your chapter traditionally holds cob events. i would imagine that initiated sisters would be the ones who would speak to any pnms about bids, or you new members would at least be instructed as to how the chapter handles those things, but ordinarily, a chapter would want to meet a prospect more than once before a bid was offered.

KJ-AU-DG · #14 10-09-2009, 10:58 PM

I went through the same thing when I pledged many years ago. My chapter was the smallest and the least popular (for a lack of a better word) on campus. I totally second-guessed myself but there was no going back. My mother told me that I'd made the right choice and to be patient. Well, I am NOT a patient person by nature. There were a lot of problems with my chapter but not the sisters--they were and are the best people I know. I did some things at the time that I am not proud of. It was no secret that I was unhappy and talked about quitting all the time. BUT I DIDN'T.

Fast forward a few years. Guess who are still my most trusted and loving friends? Guess who got me my wonderful job? Guess who has ALWAYS been there as I have suffered with bipolar disorder--you have to be strong to help someone with mental illness. Guess who I can always turn to even after 20 years? You see where I'm going with this don't you?

My sorority has since added three new chapters in that state (I don't live there anymore) and my beloved chapter was reinstated (we closed the chapter while I was still in school). The chapter makes quota, has wonderful young ladies, etc.

I know it is very hard to imagine your life many years from now. But I tell you, my mother was right. I do wish that I'd done a lot of things differently in school (well, hindsight is always 20/20). However, I would absolutely have pledged my sorority again no matter the circumstances.

You have pledged eyeliner. Learn about it; really get to know your sisters. Get to know your advisers. Understand the way things are done and why. Befriend eyeliners from other schools. Get to know the women who wrote your recs (we are sponsored so I would talk to my sponsor from time to time about problems). If I had done a better job of this back then, I probably would have been happier.

I believe in my sorority and my sorority believes in me--even now. I chose Delta Gamma over the other sorority I preffed just as you chose eyeliner. In our hearts, the choices were the right ones. Cue happy ending.

DubaiSis · #15 10-11-2009, 12:00 PM

The thing is sometimes it's better to talk about it and sometimes it's NOT. And you've strayed into it's time to stop talking about it land. Your problems are not with the sorority and yet you insist on constantly talking about your decision or what you should do or how you're feeling about it all today. By talking about it all the time you keep the problem alive. Go about your life, and come back in a couple months to share that you are a happily initiated member of eyeliner and leave it at that.

And if you seriously need to continue this discussion, then I do think it's time for some counseling because you have some emotional health issues that need to be addressed. College is very stressful and a little counseling can do wonders. And chances are there are counselors or therapists available for free or deeply discounted prices on campus. Good luck.