Please don't stalk the PNMs

[shadokat]

true that AOII LB93. It's really sorta sad when you think about it. These stories are fun and interesting, but crazies have to get all stalkerish. I mean, WTF do you care what school this girl is at? I, for one, couldn't care less if XYZ board poster has figured out what school bettyPNM is at, etc. Leave bettyPNM alone to have her recruitment and if she wants to divulge further information at the end, that's her prerogative. Sorry, this just really burns me up

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by shadokat

true that AOII LB93. It's really sorta sad when you think about it. These stories are fun and interesting, but crazies have to get all stalkerish. I mean, WTF do you care what school this girl is at? I, for one, couldn't care less if XYZ board poster has figured out what school bettyPNM is at, etc. Leave bettyPNM alone to have her recruitment and if she wants to divulge further information at the end, that's her prerogative. Sorry, this just really burns me up

I get a little annoyed when people consider others finding out a PNMs school "stalking" them

Stalking would be like attempting to figure out their real names, what dorm they live in, or other real-life identifying info.

To be quite honest, it is a CHOICE for any PNM to post a story. Everyone knows that ANYONE can read ANYTHING that's posted on the internet.

So anytime you post a story, you should expect that everyone can read it, and some people may guess where you're at.

And really, people knowing where you are is not that big of a deal. As long as you aren't being a complete snot in your thread, no one is going to care.

Also, I've said this a thousand times, but in terms of PNMs recruitment threads affect their recruitment in real life, it's not GCers they need to be concerned about: It's mostly active sorority members at their schools who lurk here but don't post.

Random GC Kappa may find out that you hated Kappa and that you thought they were fat and ugly, but she's likely not going to do a darn thing. Katie Kappa from Your University might read it, figure out you're talking about her chapter, and make sure you don't come back again (and possibly tell her friends in other chapters).

[shadokat]

Figuring or finding out a PNM's school = not stalking. Going on facebook and trying to find said PNM is stalking. Also, saying " be careful bettyPNM, I know what school you're at"...it sounds a little crazy to me. All that being said, I can agree that if you're posting something online, you should expect it's going to be read. It's common courtesy to not disclose the information publicly on the thread, because if bettyPNM wanted us to know what the sororities are or what school she's at, she would've told us. THAT is my point, end of story.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I get a little annoyed when people consider others finding out a PNMs school "stalking" them

Stalking would be like attempting to figure out their real names, what dorm they live in, or other real-life identifying info.

To be quite honest, it is a CHOICE for any PNM to post a story. Everyone knows that ANYONE can read ANYTHING that's posted on the internet.

So anytime you post a story, you should expect that everyone can read it, and some people may guess where you're at.

And really, people knowing where you are is not that big of a deal. As long as you aren't being a complete snot in your thread, no one is going to care.

Also, I've said this a thousand times, but in terms of PNMs recruitment threads affect their recruitment in real life, it's not GCers they need to be concerned about: It's mostly active sorority members at their schools who lurk here but don't post.

Random GC Kappa may find out that you hated Kappa and that you thought they were fat and ugly, but she's likely not going to do a darn thing. Katie Kappa from Your University might read it, figure out you're talking about her chapter, and make sure you don't come back again (and possibly tell her friends in other chapters).

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by shadokat

Figuring or finding out a PNM's school = not stalking. Going on facebook and trying to find said PNM is stalking. Also, saying " be careful bettyPNM, I know what school you're at"...it sounds a little crazy to me. All that being said, I can agree that if you're posting something online, you should expect it's going to be read. It's common courtesy to not disclose the information publicly on the thread, because if bettyPNM wanted us to know what the sororities are or what school she's at, she would've told us. THAT is my point, end of story.

I'm trying to figure out where in the world all this CRAZY STALKING is going on with people looking PNMs up on Facebook.

Oh that's right, it's NOT HAPPENING and you're just pulling it out of nowhere.

You clearly haven't been here for awhile and have no clue what you're talking about.

I'd like you to cite your source, please if you're going to say that we are stalking and being CRAZY.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm trying to figure out where in the world all this CRAZY STALKING is going on with people looking PNMs up on Facebook.

Oh that's right, it's NOT HAPPENING and you're just pulling it out of nowhere.

You clearly haven't been here for awhile and have no clue what you're talking about.

I'd like you to cite your source, please if you're going to say that we are stalking and being CRAZY.

either they are pulling it out of their butt, or they are referring to me. When I said I wonder where my rec crew was going and that I might check to see if they have bid day photos up on Facebook.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

This happens every year. I wish someone would post a sticky! Usually it's well-meaning curiosity but there are certain things that just shouldn't be done during Recruitment.

Story-reading etiquette:

1) Don't continue to bump a thread hoping that the PNM will magically start posting again. Perhaps things didn't turn out as they'd hoped. If they'd like to update, they will.

2) Don't out the school. If a PNM has chosen to keep her college or university private please respect that choice.

3) Don't try to track down a PNM IRL to find out if they got a bid. This is just creepy.


Add any you feel appropriate!

Worth repeating on the second (third?) page.

Trying to find PNMs on Facebook or another blog is also stalking.

[shadokat]

1) If I was referring to someone ep, I'd just say who I was talking about...it's the way I am.

2) KSU, because I don't feel the need to let the world know my opinion on everything that people post about doesn't mean I'm not here or am unaware of what I'm talking about. I voiced my opinion on something I felt strongly about, and I'm entitled to do so. And maybe my absence of voicing opinions could be directly related to the "attack" nature of those who respond. Must go back to that "evolution" of the boards.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by shadokat

1) If I was referring to someone ep, I'd just say who I was talking about...it's the way I am.

2) KSU, because I don't feel the need to let the world know my opinion on everything that people post about doesn't mean I'm not here or am unaware of what I'm talking about. I voiced my opinion on something I felt strongly about, and I'm entitled to do so. And maybe my absence of voicing opinions could be directly related to the "attack" nature of those who respond. Must go back to that "evolution" of the boards.

Sure, but if you don't post a lot, you don't establish much credibility with other readers, and we might not all assume that just because you posted something, it must be true.

If you intend to persuade people that facebook stalking of PNM is a real danger on GC, you might need a little more evidence.

(I can't even figure out how one would do it, not that I want to try. It's one thing if you're already friends on facebook with a PNM and you can check her wall for updates, which is a far cry from stalking, IMO. But most of the recuitments here have hundreds of girls going through; as far as I know, no one posted a thread under her real name. It just seems like, even if all students at a particularly college had public profiles, it would still be close to impossible to figure out who a particular PNM was.)

[annabella]

I've had a PNM PM me about a specific school and sign it with her name. Based on that+the question she asked, it would have been unavoidable for me to figure out who she was. I missed most of recruitment that year for an internship, but if I'd been at work week I would have likely figured it out without trying.

Totally not a crazy person—not about to Google someone within an inch of their life! But since these girls are so often newbies.... I don't think they always realize how easy it is to put a couple details together.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by annabella

I've had a PNM PM me about a specific school and sign it with her name. Based on that+the question she asked, it would have been unavoidable for me to figure out who she was. I missed most of recruitment that year for an internship, but if I'd been at work week I would have likely figured it out without trying.

Totally not a crazy person—not about to Google someone within an inch of their life! But since these girls are so often newbies.... I don't think they always realize how easy it is to put a couple details together.

Ditto. I have been PMing with two PNMs who are attending my school. One signed with her whole name, the other didn't, however if I wanted to it would be pretty easy to figure out who she is during recruitment.

I think the important thing that PNMs need to check the person out before the PM. I mean if someone with posts that were random and crazy, I would be less likely to tell them anything about me. If it is someone who (I hate to use this sentence as this thread is currently doing a tangent on it and I don't want to be part of it) is more established and has a few posts that are on subject and aren't psychotic, then I feel as if the PNM should be able to PM the member.
i.e. A poster with 15 posts all in chit chat and 1 in a Greek related thread who mentions to attend their school vs. someone with 100 posts all over that has possibly put up their own story or is in the recruitment/Greek life thread talking about their school or other things of Greek life the PNM has questions on.

I'm not sure that came out right...

[shadokat]

I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

Okay, I have a relatively small number of posts, however, I am on this site daily and read virtually all the Greek related threads. (i.e. not so many in the chit-chat forum).

I honestly have no idea if members of GC are stalking, harrassing or other. However, I do think that it is very realistic to expect that actives are reading these boards and when women post live or semi-live stories it can be easy to figure out the school. It can also be easy to figure out some of the chapters and even the PNM based on description, user name etc.

My thought as to why fewer PNMs are posting their stories has to do more with not wanting to be discovered by an active. By that I mean that when PollyPNM has a user name like "Kate1214" that it is likely that her name is Kate with a birthday of 12/14. Many of them just have not chosen creative/ambiguous names. Easy to figure out. If the poster is uppity, disparaging of chapters, etc, then actives at that school could cut her for such comments. All the advice that I have seen over the past 3 summers/recruitment seasons have cautioned the PNMs for this.

Are there GC users who do track down PNMs to find out their rush? Possibly, but I really have no idea. I don't think this has to do with the fewer stories, though. I think most PNMs (I have recommended this site to dozens of them) are heeding advice to keep a low profile and use discretion.

Just 2 cents from someone who reads more than she types.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

Okay, I have a relatively small number of posts, however, I am on this site daily and read virtually all the Greek related threads. (i.e. not so many in the chit-chat forum).

I honestly have no idea if members of GC are stalking, harrassing or other. However, I do think that it is very realistic to expect that actives are reading these boards and when women post live or semi-live stories it can be easy to figure out the school. It can also be easy to figure out some of the chapters and even the PNM based on description, user name etc.

This.

[shadokat]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

However, I do think that it is very realistic to expect that actives are reading these boards and when women post live or semi-live stories it can be easy to figure out the school. It can also be easy to figure out some of the chapters and even the PNM based on description, user name etc.

My thought as to why fewer PNMs are posting their stories has to do more with not wanting to be discovered by an active. By that I mean that when PollyPNM has a user name like "Kate1214" that it is likely that her name is Kate with a birthday of 12/14. Many of them just have not chosen creative/ambiguous names. Easy to figure out. If the poster is uppity, disparaging of chapters, etc, then actives at that school could cut her for such comments. All the advice that I have seen over the past 3 summers/recruitment seasons have cautioned the PNMs for this.

Blondie, post count doesn't matter I agree with what you're saying here, and it's a good thought. Why is it that members on this board feel the need to say "hey kate1214, i know what school you're at!". PNM or not, I find that sorta creepy. Why do people have to go there with a PNM, instead of just sitting back and letting her tell her story?

[epchick]

Originally Posted by shadokat

Blondie, post count doesn't matter I agree with what you're saying here, and it's a good thought. Why is it that members on this board feel the need to say "hey kate1214, i know what school you're at!". PNM or not, I find that sorta creepy. Why do people have to go there with a PNM, instead of just sitting back and letting her tell her story?

There are 2 different reasons why people do the whole "I know what school you're at."

1. Either the PNM is not using a lot of discretion, and it's more of a cautionary "watch out, I know what school your at and there might be actives looking at this board"

2. Just cause they want to.


I can't speak for anyone else on this board, but I hope that when I see a "I know what school your at" it's for reason #1. I agree with you people who do it just to do it (like reason #2) is creepy and they accomplish nothing from saying it except to maybe scare people off.

But as much as I, or you, or anyone else might not like it, people here are going to continue to do it.



And sometimes "stalking" (if that what people wanna call PM'ing a PNM about info from their rush) is a good thing. Anyone remember katiebug319472 or whatever her username was? She kept claiming she was gonna go through recruitment at Macon State, then it was FL. When I finally pm'ed her she was already an AGD @ UGA. But she was perpetrating Phi Mu as well? She ended up being a fake, but noone would have known unless they PM'ed her (like I and several other GC members did).