Auburn Recruitment

[gardensyl]

Thank you for the pictures Auburnmom08, the village is just so beautiful.

[pam713]

Any other anxious moms out there?

I am here on pins and needles! My daughter has fainted a few times in the past when she gets too hot, but fortunately she did just fine yesterday.

[awkward1]

AuburnMom09 - This is such an emotional time for all involved. Your daughter sounds like she has a very mature head on her shoulders, you should be very proud of her. However, it may be that those girls that feel they are getting treated in a less welcoming manner at certain sororities may just have a really poor recruiter/rusher/whatever they are called now. Certainly some girls are going to get 'rushed' harder than others, remember that there are sororities that want your daughter just as badly as she may want them. I hope she bases her decision on her own experiences and not the experience of others. There are things about rush that are difficult and may seem harsh, but no one has ever claimed that it is a fair process. For whatever reason (grades, personality, looks, all of the above), these particular sororities really want your daughter. There are probably hundreds of girls that they want but they can only have so many. Your daughter needs to enjoy her journey, tune out the tent talk, and make her judgments based on her experience, thoughts, and feelings. I doubt that there is an entire sorority full of Mean Girls, just some really, really tired and exhausted and overwhelmed girls.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by awkward1

However, it may be that those girls that feel they are getting treated in a less welcoming manner at certain sororities may just have a really poor recruiter/rusher/whatever they are called now. Certainly some girls are going to get 'rushed' harder than others, remember that there are sororities that want your daughter just as badly as she may want them. I hope she bases her decision on her own experiences and not the experience of others.

There's a difference - and no matter how emotional the time, no matter if you're 18, you can usually sense it - between someone who is awkward and/or so fried they can't connect, and someone who is summarily dismissive of you. I am guessing the latter is the type of thing auburnmom09's sweet daughter (for she is indeed sweet in thinking about others, not just herself) heard about.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by 33girl

There's a difference - and no matter how emotional the time, no matter if you're 18, you can usually sense it - between someone who is awkward and/or so fried they can't connect, and someone who is summarily dismissive of you. I am guessing the latter is the type of thing auburnmom09's sweet daughter (for she is indeed sweet in thinking about others, not just herself) heard about.

I wouldn't feel qualified to judge this unless I knew the people in question. While I think a lot of people can tell the difference, a certain number of teenagers make too much out of perceived slights. Since there's an element of friend of a friend here, I'd reserve judgment.

I also think it's kind of unlikely that a "top chapter" is keeping around too many girls going into, what? third round, that the chapter isn't authentically pretty interested in. My impression is that the vast majority of sorority women at Auburn have pretty good manners, and even if they don't all the time, they aren't going to blow people off DURING RECRUITMENT.

The clueless rusher scenario just seems a lot more plausible to me, but as I said before, I have no idea what really happened.

Now PNMS being jerks, I can totally believe. You see some crazy competitive and selfish behavior out of some girls, even if it's driven by insecurity and rush rumors. When these girls get bids, they often learn how to do better in at least pretending to treat others well.

[BlueCarnation]

When I rushed, I remember having 5 or 6 girls rush me at once at the chapter at which I was a legacy. To me, this was so bizarre, since at the other houses, it was more one on one. I totally panicked--how did these girls know so much about me? Why were they talking to me? WHAT IS GOING ON??? I knew nothing about rush, and when our group left, everyone came up to me and said they noticed that I had a ton of girls around me. Another PNM in my group then said, "Well, they're the most popular girls on campus. You won't get in." !!! (I didn't get a bid there. But this gal got cut from every house after that round.)

My point is that rush is totally confusing and people say stupid things and you really have no clue what really goes on--and karma catches up to people. I think these girls genuinely were trying to get to know me, and I'm sure it was the same with your daughter.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by auburnmom09

33 girl:Thank you so much for the kind words.

She is indeed a caring sweet person and this day has been so difficult for both of us. She did not return to the legacy sorority today and of the ones she went back to there were only 2 she is still really interested in and only one more she said she would go to tomorrow for pref if they invited her back. I think they can choose 3 but she is very afraid the one she really wants won"t invite her because they assume she is going to pledge the legacy sorority.

I agree with whomever said it is not a fair system. She now feels penalized because she is a legacy vs. girls who aren't legacies.
What a ridiculous system. Seems they should be able to get a list saying who is not going back to a legacy sorority sorta like making them a "FREE AGENT" But that would be too ideal. Or let's go for let the rushees select the ones they still want to be rushed by each day then give that list to the sororities and let them only rush the girls that also want them.
Ya think?

Letting other chapters know when a legacy wasn't returning to her legacy chapter might be a good idea.

I think letting the girls list only the chapters they were interested in would probably result in many more girls being released early in the process. Going back to more chapters causes a lot of girls to reconsider chapters that they likely would have dropped after first round had they had the choice and not known that their top chapters were going to cut them.

But I'll admit that I've never consider having to attend parties a big hardship. Enjoy talking to the girls. Why is that such a bad thing? Nobody is going to make you accept a bid you don't want.

ETA: AuburnMom09, were you greek or is the legacy chapter a sister or grandmother? EATA: nevermind, I re-read and I see that you refer to your own rush experience. I was a little surprised because some of what you suggests seems kind of counter to having direct recruitment experience, for example, wanting open parties rather than a full invite list, wanting to let girls reduce the number of chapters they return to, etc. These things seem likely to me to have a negative effect on many PNMs and at least 1/2 of the chapters. Do you mind saying what college you attended? Is it similar to Auburn?

[gardensyl]

Dear auburnmom09,

My daughter rushed at Auburn last fall & i can sympathize with you on what a difficult week you're both having. My daughter was a legacy also, but pledged a different house so encourage her that things usually work out for the best even though it might not seem to at the time and also go to all pref. parties she is invited to. It is so difficult sometimes to tell much about a sorority during rush and she shouldn't limit her opportunities for membership. Good luck to you both.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by gardensyl

Dear auburnmom09,

My daughter rushed at Auburn last fall & i can sympathize with you on what a difficult week you're both having. My daughter was a legacy also, but pledged a different house so encourage her that things usually work out for the best even though it might not seem to at the time and also go to all pref. parties she is invited to. It is so difficult sometimes to tell much about a sorority during rush and she shouldn't limit her opportunities for membership. Good luck to you both.

Well said. And I'm sorry I'm coming off kind of confrontational. I hope things work out well.

I'm just kind of perplexed but some of what AuburnMom09 seems to advocate because I don't think it would work out very well for most people or most groups.

(Not the legacy stuff so much.)

[carnation]

Rude PNM to another PNM whom she'd only met briefly the day before: :"You only had 7 invites out of 12? I guess we won't be seeing YOU on Bid Day!"

I am happy to report that the mother of the shocked PNM contacted me to say that the rude one didn't like her invitations today and dropped out of recruitment. Good. I was about to go make sure that she wasn't going to wear an arrow.

Originally Posted by auburnmom09

Carnation, Can you give any more detail about what was said by the PNM? Apparently, the middle school MEAN girls get older and unfortunately sounds like some of them get accepted to Auburn. My daughters eyes have certainly been opened this week. She is very confused by what she has witnessed at several of the so called "top sororities" that came on too strong and had 3 and 4 people coming over to meet her, telling her at ice water teas...they had seen her resume and WOW she was amazing and they had been waiting to meet her....and on and on. She has definitely been influenced by hearing how poorly the same sororities treated some of the other girls going through which caused her to loose interest in them.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by carnation

Rude PNM to another PNM whom she'd only met briefly the day before: :"You only had 7 invites out of 12? I guess we won't be seeing YOU on Bid Day!"

I am happy to report that the mother of the shocked PNM contacted me to say that the rude one didn't like her invitations today and dropped out of recruitment. Good. I was about to go make sure that she wasn't going to wear an arrow.

I guess no one will be seeing the rude one on bid day. Hee hee.

[HuskyAlum]

Originally Posted by carnation

Rude PNM to another PNM whom she'd only met briefly the day before: :"You only had 7 invites out of 12? I guess we won't be seeing YOU on Bid Day!"

I am happy to report that the mother of the shocked PNM contacted me to say that the rude one didn't like her invitations today and dropped out of recruitment. Good. I was about to go make sure that she wasn't going to wear an arrow.

Good indeed!! I am relieved to know that someone making that kind of comment won't be wearing ANY of our letters. Whew!!

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by auburnmom09

Or perhaps because the past few generations are better educated they have raised "outstanding" girls who are in fact entitled to join the very "top chapters", but may choose to not join the higher tier sorority to which they are a legacy for what ever reason and don't want other good sororities to assume that's where they are going to pledge!

You realize that this doesn't really make sense? If there are more girls of a certain type, no matter how great they are, they are less outstanding. And while there are some girls who fit the pattern you've described, it's probably not as common as girls who are interested in "top" legacy chapters if those chapters retain them.

I agree with you that it would be nice if other chapters could learn that a girl was no longer attending her legacy chapter.

I hope things work out for your daughter.

[GPhiBLtColonel]

Just returned from helping at Auburn and I was soooooooo impressed The sorority village is great!!
Our Gamma Phi digs were especially classy - sorry, I know I am partial! And dang - again I know I am partial - but I was in awe of my collegian sisters there - so proud of them! Strikingly gorgeous! And I saw so many cute white dresses today!!
Amongst the PNMS, I'd say about 80% were in black or black pattern/print or another darker color dress (navy, forest, purple)...though the lighter colored dresses I saw were cute, it did look almost out of place to see girls here and there in light colored dresses...
And the shoes......OMG....I cannot tell you how many of the girls were wearing "CMFPs"!!!! Three inch heels seemed to be pretty common from what I could see. The shoes were adorable but the heels were too high IMHO! okay, so I'm old and in love with my comfy naturalizers
There were about 60 girls at each of the four pref parties that were each an hour long...and one of my local girls was preffing Gamma Phi - woohoo! There was a thundershower just after all the PNMs had gone home after the last party!
Oh and I heard quota would be 55.....

[honeychile]

Before the actual numbers and all come in, I think we should all thank EVERY sister and alumna who took the time to recruit the women of their school for their sorority. Y'all are AWESOME!!!