Help? Rush Question!

[pear]

A close friend of mine belatedly decided this spring that he wanted to join a fraternity. He is a charismatic, smart, and funny guy that would have benefited any house on campus. The only problem: he's a junior planning on staying for two more years. He rushed one competitive house and thought he got along really well with all the brothers. He did not receive a bid, and when he asked the president what happened he said, that people liked him and the they would have pledged you but they were worried he was too old to connect with the freshman that were pledging. He would still really like to join the Greek system but is not sure if every house he likes will give him the same answer. In my sorority, I know we do snap bidding, where we take girls that didn't quite make it through recruitment after getting to know them better. Is this an option for him? Is there anything else he can do to be able to join? We go to a large California school where Greek life is large, but not the prevalent social norm. Thanks!

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by pear

A close friend of mine belatedly decided this spring that he wanted to join a fraternity. He is a charismatic, smart, and funny guy that would have benefited any house on campus. The only problem: he's a junior planning on staying for two more years. He rushed one competitive house and thought he got along really well with all the brothers. He did not receive a bid, and when he asked the president what happened he said, that people liked him and the they would have pledged you but they were worried he was too old to connect with the freshman that were pledging. He would still really like to join the Greek system but is not sure if every house he likes will give him the same answer.

He won't know unless he tries. And each chapter recruits as they see fit. So at some chapters, they may have concerns about his age. While at other chapters, there may not be any concerns. Again, he won't know unless he rushes. Or at least talk to members of the chapters he in interested in at this time.

In my sorority, I know we do snap bidding, where we take girls that didn't quite make it through recruitment after getting to know them better. Is this an option for him?

Perhaps. Each campus IFC is different on how and when bids may be extended. Plus, each chapter may have their own guidelines for rushing. In other words, not all campuses have open IFC rushes. And even with those that do, not all chapters may participate in one. Generally speaking, if the campus IFC allows for continuous open bidding, then it may be an option for your friend.

Is there anything else he can do to be able to join? We go to a large California school where Greek life is large, but not the prevalent social norm. Thanks!

Meet the members and be himself. He should also let the rush chairs and members he connects with know that he has two more years of college.

Best of luck to your friend.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by pear

He did not receive a bid, and when he asked the president what happened he said, that people liked him and the they would have pledged you but they were worried he was too old to connect with the freshman that were pledging.

In addition to TSteven's comments, also keep in mind that while the President's statement may have been true, he also could have lied to him. Members of a GLO won't discuss membership selection and why someone received a bid, or why they didn't. What if all of the brothers really didn't like him? The President probably isn't going to say that.

Encourage him to rush again, but advise him not to ask any member why he didn't receive a bid (if he goes bidless again). That can just create awkward situations, and the potential for lying by the members. Some people find it very rude to be asked this question. He just shouldn't do it. Tell him to cut his losses and move on to the next fraternity that might extend him a bid. All he can do is try.

[Firehouse]

You're getting some really good advice. Like they say above, he should continue to rush and be himself.
Your friend should also take to heart the other advice about not asking why he didn't get a bid. When I was rush chairman we had two roommates come through together. I knew we weren't going to take them but they were persistent. I edned up lying to them, telling them that we weren't taking any juniors that semester. I don't remember if I said we already had too many juniors, or if I said they were too old to match up with the freshmen - It was all a lie; I just didn't want to hurt their feelings, and they ended up pledging another fraternity.

[WhyGoGreek]

A point your friend may want to make: that even though his time on campus is limited, he still can be a contributing brother as an alumnus.

My chapter bidded and pledged a man as a junior, and though he was only active for three semesters, he lives near my school, and is a frequent contributor to the chapter both financially, and as an un-official adviser.

He also still plays on our hockey team (we checked, it's not illegal)

-J.

[phitim1905]

I don't know what kind of frat that was but, it is a different story in my school, in my pledge class we had people that were juniors and seniors and even a grad exchange student. So I don't know why that frat has a problem with him being a junior?! anyways try a different one maybe it will be different.