brotherhood togetherness

mdshoreboy · #1 04-10-2002, 12:06 AM

Ok, our chapter is at a very pivitol moment. Furthermore, still a new member (initiated nov 2001), I know I'm missing a lot of the picture.

I see my chapter lacking the togetherness, many brothers complain of having to work, and girlfriends are more important than meetings, etc. etc.

Question for everyone... How do you go about bringing a chapter together. I've spoken to one brother from Riverdale, CA and they run bi-monthly brainstorm meetings where they spend a good hour or so going over collective free time they have and plan events where the entire chapter attends. Seems like a good plan, but that would only work if the chapter were already together. It'd be great to hear from other bros, maybe a chapter who's already been through this.

You can check out our website if you want http://www.phidelta.org

LXAAlum · #2 04-10-2002, 03:21 PM

Try holding a circle of brotherhood event and get these concerns out in the open - that's the only way they'll be addressed. Or, a good ZAX session to remind everyone of the obligations and responsibilities of being a BROTHER, not a member of Lambda Chi Alpha. Like they say, there IS a difference.

ZAX,

LXAAlum

lenoxxx · #3 04-10-2002, 04:43 PM

Having everyone live together in a house might help- or in an apartment complex next to one another. Therefore the girlfriends cant escape the day to day mayhem.

You can see our mayhem at www.phitauzeta.org

I might add that a great party from time to time gets the brothers out, hey it even gets our damn alumni out!

Jason Lenox
z 274

Tom Earp · #4 04-10-2002, 05:53 PM

Damn Jas, sounds like one of the moods I get in Bro!

Need to give you a Ma Bell!

Our chapter has a thing called pass the gavel, while I do not agree with it, It is suppose to let the Brothers air out their bitches! But I feel that manytimes it still festers unless everyone gets the point!

It is very simple! If each and everyone doesnt pull the wieght then the house falls!

Unfortunatally, it is the ole 80-20 deal! 20 % do teh work and 80 % screw off!

Plainly speaking if enuff guys screw off then the Chapter goes down and is closed! We all then lose just not the Brothers of your Zeta!

We virtually have the same problem at LX Z Pitt St Ks.

We are trying to build a new house with low numbers in the Chapter! As alums, I dont know what else we can do except clean house!

Ryan Hane an ELC that I had the pleasure to meet said it so well! ""GTFO"". Get the fuck out! That is if the Brohters are not doing anything but sitting on their laurals! ( ASSES )!

Lose your Charter and what do you have?

Keep us updated!

jonsagara · #5 04-10-2002, 06:20 PM

If the issue is that critical, then it's time to call a special, chapter-wide meeting. Make it formal attire. Emphasize that the future existence of the chapter depends on their attendance AND input. It (LCA) has to mean something to them, or they'll just blow you off.

Some tips:
* Make invitations
* Hand-deliver the invitations to each individual member, dressed in formal attire
* Discuss all of the issues - make sure each person knows what is at stake

We were in a similar spot when I took over as Alpha. I laid out our future in plain and simple terms to the general membership: either we work our @$$es off and build the house back up, or we become an average 20-30 man fraternity on campus. That prospect must've scared the bejeezus out of them because they all came together, and now a year and a half later we're back up at 70 members and growing.

In our case, one main thing that worked for us was a change in rush philosophy. In the 2-3 years leading up to that point, we had rushed a bunch of "party guys," i.e., the majority of the membership was in it for the good time. Very few guys were willing to take the initiative and do extra work for the chapter. Starting last year, we emphasized getting members that work hard AND play hard. Now we have a large number of guys who are willing to put a lot of time into the fraternity and make it better. These new men were responsible for recruiting 32 men this past school year.

Look deep into the core of your chapter, and figure out what you and your brothers are all about. If you find the key ingredient(s) that need to change, then have the courage to change them, and you will be successful.

I wish you the best of luck. That is a scary position to be in.

lifesaver · #6 04-10-2002, 06:49 PM

(We sit next to each other at GA - Ya'll good peeps.)

1) Pas the candle (tom calle dit pass the gavel) At least everyone is on the same page. If you think its a serious problem - thorn and rose. PM me for the details on that. Gurantee that by the end of it everyone will be huging. Very emotional. Shared emotional experiences bring people together.

2) Ya dont need a house. They are great and help facilitate interaction and brotherhood, thay are not the reason for it. Dont believe me? Go ask UCF. 120+ men and NO HOUSE.

3) Crack open the Phi Manual. Nothing in there about workshops you can do to bring everyoen toghether. "Cause its not in there. Its simple really. Have the brothers spend time together. Not at required functions, whatehave you.. Try calling EVERYONE up on a friday night and having them come over for a movie, or go to one, or go on a road trip to a brothers hometown a few hours awar, or do a brotherhood retreat where all yall go to a beach/lake house, do some brotherhod bonding (Candle pass, open ritual workshop, ZAX jeopardy or Get to know your brothers game (PM ME for this one - good stuff)) then cook dinner together (BBQ always a fave with us Texas boys), then sit outside on the dock or deck and kick back a few beers. Shoot the shit and spend soem time together where its just YALL. No chicks, no jobs, no high zeta planning, no pressure. Get the hell outta town and leave it all behind.

We just did this 3 weeks ago. A bunch of us (not as a chapter function,) went to a brothers guest ranch on the border, did some hard work digging ditches for his parents, had dinner, a candle pass then went to Mexico for a nite of fun. Not everyoen drank, didnt have to, but we decided its what we wanted to do and have a blast. We did have fun too. (*Of course getting your drink on in another country then having to get back across the border post sept 11 may not be in 100% accordance with Risk Mgmt policies) but most of us grew up here and are old pros at it - We were within gwalking distance of the border as well - so it was ok. Anyway, the point is that the road trip was a blast (the facilities were great and I have a ton of new memories with my brothers.)

Key is this: Spend time together. You'll be closer. You all can do laundry together. Play PS together. throw the football together. Pull a prank, go camping, rock climbing, ropes course, hell I dunno, but do stuff together. The bros will remember how much fun they had with each other and why they rushed in the first place. They'll feel better about the brotherhood, and be better able to sell the org this fall during recruitment as well.

Good luck man. I know what its like. We were there 4 years ago. Now a strong chapter. It can and will change. Jsut remember, "Naught Without Labour."

ZAX
lifesaver

PS: When you want to give up think of these two anecdotes: 1) I was Delta in Summer of 1996. We were abou tto be closed. I couldnt attend one more stupid Freshman Orientation. (Had already done about 30 that summer with abysmal results.) Tory stopped by the office I was working out of on campus (the IFC office) as rush chair and asked my why I wasnt setting up the table. I told him how burned out I was and was sick of it. He promised to go with me and heled me set up. I begrudgingly went and there met three people who would change my life and the direction of our zeta. a, my little brother who went on to become alpha. b, a brother who went on to become a SAC delegate and I am convinced will eventually be a GHZ member, and c, the best Delta we everhad who later helped sign 30 am's.

2) Warren A. Cole had sent out 108 letters (hand typed) to college groups across the country with no respoince or declined invitations. Had he stopped there, we'd all be Sig Eps, or TKE's (egad). But he decided to do a few more. Letter #109 went to a buddy of his brother's at Penn who had a buddy named Jack Mason.

DONT GIVE UP.

PS#2: Just because you are a recent initiate of LXA doesnt mean you dont understand whats up or see the whole pict. I have known members who were in for 4 years and were never like brothers. And I have known AM's who were in for 3 weeks and were like brothers. Former G.H.Gamma George McDaniel once told us at Leadership seminar that Ritual is a function of timing. If your brothers are living their lives by the principals it sets forth, the new members (AM's) know Ritual. They just dont know they know. Because they see it in the way you and your brothers carry yourselves. Thats why after initiation you understand that it was right there in front of you the whole time. You KNEW it, you just didnt know you did. I like to think of it as thats the reason I rushed. I liked what I saw - in the members - and their behavior. OK... I am rambeling now. Hopefully this helped. I am going to eat now. (sounding like Tom - always mentioning dinner....)

Tom Earp · #7 04-10-2002, 09:27 PM

MD which school? Hell there are a bunch in the MD area of Balt. Md!

I attended the meeting after the Dinner of Reg. L C.
Ryan Haney, ELC U Toronto was the chair! One hell of a fire brand!

I wrote one thing down and keep in front of me at all times!

In talking about members who do not want to do when the Chips Are Down "GTFO". Get the Fu*# Out! Sometimes it is better to start with a smaller number of hard working Brothers than sit with a load of Sh^& on your hands!

I hate to be harsh, as it had to be done at my chapter because of drugs!

We almost lost our charter so that is a kiss of death!

Work hard, study hard and play hard, but remember the total idea is to Graduate and then really work for the rest of your lives!

Boy is that fun?

mdshoreboy · #8 04-15-2002, 03:28 AM

Well, I just got elected High Epsilon. So, this is going to be my year to implement some awesome programing for the chapter.

I'm definitely going to push the whole brainstorm meetings and I think to start them I want to go to every brother personally and invite him. We do have an email listserver, but that's more or less a blackhole of information.

Ah well... if anyone has any ideas, I'm always looking for them.

In Zax,
Phi-Delta 313