The "I just dug up my Recruitment Booklet" Recruitment Story

[lovespink88]

Can't wait for more!

[Scrubadub]

It's that time!!!: Pref

So, we finally get to pref night. Kim and I both look gorgeous: she has on the perfect little black dress with these shimmery, dangling earrings. I had on a red dress that I wore to my cousin's wedding the summer before. We both felt good. We met Jane on the way and we begin to talk about who we hope to see on our list. Jane (no surprise here!) hopes for Delta Gamma. Kim is hoping for Delta Delta Deltaand Chi Omega . I surprise myself with how much I hope Pi Beta Phi is on my list. I had already told Kim how much I screwed up there and recount the tale for Jane. She says I'll be fine.

We find our counselors. I know before I look at my list that I'm in trouble. Lisa is looking at me with such sad eyes, I find myself thanking God I wore waterproof mascara before I even see the list.

My list:
1. Empty
2. Delta Zeta

And the tears start. I try holding them in and do a pretty good job. Kim sees and runs over. She comforts me as much as possible, but must leave for her first party (Her list is exactly what she wanted.)

I sat with Lisa and she explains all my options to me. She was not as bubbly as she had been: she was sympathetic and perfect. She tells me to go to Delta Zeta and see if it can work. She tells me I am lucky to have an invitation from DZ (and that she thinks they are a terrific group). However, she warns me NOT to sign my bid card if I don't feel comfortable accepting a bid from DZ. I won't be able to pledge another sorority for a year and will be ineligible for something called informal recruitment. She warns me that bids from informal are hard to come by, but it is likely a better idea if I really feel alienated at Delta Zeta. She also tells me about an additional council, made up of non-NPC, special interest sororities, might be a better fit. "They're different from our NPC groups, but my roommate freshman year was a member of Sigma Omicron Epsilon and loved it." She leaves me to reapply my makeup with a hug and "Do whatever makes you happy. Give DZ a fair chance, but don't short-change yourself. You'll find a home, even if it takes longer than the others."

-Delta Zeta-
The girls are goregous, all in matching black dresses with glittering "diamond" (at least I hope they weren't real!) necklaces and earrings on. I look around in the sea of black and am glad to be wearing a different color. However, I immediately start worrying that I stand out too much or that I missed a memo saying I should wear black. I am greeted at the door with a hug and a pink rose by a girl I don't know. She knows my name, however, and tells me how great Delta Zeta is and how I must feel so at home. I don't though: I'm not sure if it was the red dress sticking out like a sore thumb, but not even the cute turtle cookie with my name on it made me feel relaxed and comfortable. I felt extremely out-of-place. The ceremony was beautiful by all accounts. Many girls cried, and I tried to make myself cry. (I even remember thinking of very sad things! It didn't work!). My DZ girl hugged me good-bye and whispered "I hope your wish tonight is the same as mine".

I doubted it: I just wanted to find my home tonight. She already HAD her home.

I went back and was faced with a tough decision. Do I chance that Delta Zeta is the place for me and that I will grow to love it? Or do I commit myself to the long (and wholly uncertain) road of COB? Or do I give up on being Greek all together and find a home in a different activity?

I noticed the ease with which Kim filled out her bid card, and knew I couldn't do it. I didn't want to commit myself to a place I didn't feel at home. Maybe, through COB, I'd come to love Delta Zeta, but I didn't trust myself to do it today. I turned in my card blank without a signature.

Kim, interestingly enough, had ranked Chi Omega first and Delta Delta Delta second. Pref had completely changed her mind. "I just felt home at Chi Omega. I knew I belonged there." She agreed wholeheartedly with my decision to withdraw. "If you didn't feel remotely like I did, I wouldn't want you to accept. You'll find it."

She and Jane went off to bid day festivities. Kim happily accepted a bid from Chi Omega. Jane (no surprises here!) joined Katherine at Delta Gamma.

Lisa turned out to be a Delta Zeta. (Kim's RC was actually a Pi Beta Phi).

I found my home eventually, although not in an NPC sorority. I do wonder what would have happened if I had filled out my bid card. I may not have even gotten a bid. I may have and loved it. I may have and dropped out quickly and been sworn off of Greek life.

At any rate, I think I'm going to continue my story and post my COB experience, because it's semi-interesting and can stand as proof that the world doesn't end when your formal recruitment is disappointing.

Besides: Legacy pops up there and THAT is an interesting story in itself.

[Scrubadub]

Side note: I also haven't recieved a single PM telling me to post code-names or censor my story. Way to Go, GC!

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by Scrubadub

Side note: I also haven't recieved a single PM telling me to post code-names or censor my story. Way to Go, GC!

I much prefer using the actual name of the sorority! I can sort of see if it's real time that there are some benefits to coding it but idk. Anyways, I'm greatly enjoying your story!

[ZTA72]

Good Story...surprise ending. Thanks for telling it in such a straight forward way.

[GammaPhi88]

I have to say, I think Lisa is an exceptional Rho Gamma! It must have been so hard for her not to try to convince you to sign your bid card when you only have her sorority as a choice. She was mature, objective, and she made the process about you and your recruitment decisions, keeping herself and her personal feelings out of everything. I really admire how she didn't force you into being bound for a year, she let you make your own decisions and gave you all the options to do it. If I am ever a Rho Gamma, I really will take what she did as an example.

And of course, I'd love to hear the rest of your story!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

I have to say, I think Lisa is an exceptional Rho Gamma! It must have been so hard for her not to try to convince you to sign your bid card when you only have her sorority as a choice. She was mature, objective, and she made the process about you and your recruitment decisions, keeping herself and her personal feelings out of everything. I really admire how she didn't force you into being bound for a year, she let you make your own decisions and gave you all the options to do it. If I am ever a Rho Gamma, I really will take what she did as an example.

This is one of the hardest situations for any PX (having a PNM who has your chapter as her only choice and isn't happy about it). You want them to join, but you can't come out and say that. She handled it very well indeed.

[KSUViolet06]

Double post, but I get the feeling that you ended up checking out the local that your friend was in (Sigma Omicron Epsilon), especially because you can remember exactly what the girl said about finding your home taking longer than others.

[ellebud]

I think that this is one of the best stories I have read in a long time. Thank you for using the real names of the sororities, thank you for your insight and tact. I look foward to hearing the rest of your story.

[anygreekmom]

I am loving this story! First of all, I'm so glad to have real names - I'm too old to keep track of code names. I've gone back and re-read your descriptions several times. What I truly like about this is that you were trying very hard to find a home and honestly admitting that you didn't - regardless of reputation/tent talk/tiers. No matter how hard I read between the lines (and I"m trying...believe me!!) I can't tell if one group is a more - or less - "desireable" one. I'm impressed that you were following your heart - that takes courage at 18!

And most of us have thought, at one time or another, what if I had...? But it sounds like you did what was right for you and it somehow worked out. So...yes! yes! yes! continue the story with COB.

[Denise_DPhiE]

More please!!!!!!!

[Scrubadub]

I'll post more in a bit.

I really do appreciate Lisa's guidance. That must have been so hard for her! My heart broke a little when Kim told me she was a Delta Zeta. I really appreciate her guidance because I had NO idea what my options were. I had never heard of informal and only vaguely recalled hearing that bids were binding for a year. It took a lot of maturity for her to do that. I hope every girl can have a RC like her.

I also think some of my impartiality is due to the fact that I knew relatively little about Greek Life going in. I think if I had grown up in a Greek Family or had a LOT of friends from high school who went to College, I would have had a much different story and experience.

[Scrubadub]

The beginning of COB:

So, I contact the Panhellenic to find out what groups are offering COB.
The list:

1. Delta Delta Delta
2. Alpha Delta Pi

So, I won't be able to go back to Delta Zeta and see if it would have worked. On the other hand, it looks like they did well for themselves, so perhaps I wouldn't have gotten a bid anyhow.

I plan to attend a rush party for both Alpha Delta Pi and Delta Delta Delta even though I really didn't like them, just to see if they come off better in a more relaxed setting. Besides, with Kim and Jane coming back with all their bid day packages, meetings, and socials, I REALLY want to be in a sorority now.

I also see a flyer for Sigma Omicron Epsilon, the sorority that Lisa had mentioned and decide to check them out.

-Delta Delta Delta-
We went bowling. It was fun (when is bowling and free food not!), but that awkward feeling I had at Delta Zeta's pref party was back. I talk to a lot of girls and stay for the duration of the party, but I just don't fit here no matter how badly I want to. I leave, knowing for sure I won't return.

-Sigma Omicron Epsilon-
They had an info night and I was excited to check them out. I walk in, grab some punch, and begin talking to some girls. I'm getting some odd looks and a rather cold reception, and I realize why during the informational. Sigma Omicron Epsilon is an American Indian Interest Sorority, and I am very obviously not American Indian. (In my defense, it is still possible for me to rush them.)

I still have Alpha Delta Pi's parties, though, so I am not TOO discouraged. I also google College's Greek website and look up the other non-NPC or NPHC sororities. (I am determined to do my research BEFORE I attend another rush party.) I am interested in both Alpha Omega Epsilon (I also recall being handed a flyer about Alpha Omega Epsilon in my engineering class) and Theta Nu Xi.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by Scrubadub

-Delta Delta Delta-
....When the blonde rushing me asks my major and I reply "Chemical Engineering", she blinks at me for a moment (while twirling her hair) and asks why I'd waste my time on that.

Originally Posted by Scrubadub

I am interested in both Alpha Omega Epsilon (I also recall being handed a flyer about Alpha Omega Epsilon in my engineering class) and Theta Nu Xi.

Oh, duh, I completely forgot you mentioned your major... Okay, I'm bettin on AOE now!

[Scrubadub]

Kim is fully immersed in her New Member program now and loves it. She is very supportive of me, and offers to accompany me to any COB events. Her excitement about me finding my home gives me some hope.

-Alpha Delta Pi-
I walk in and am immediately greeted with a huge smile. It's a dessert party, featuring desserts from around the world. I am thrilled to be here and am really, really enjoing myself with all the ADPis. As I go to grab another piece of flan, I bump (literally bump) into a familiar face: yes, that's right! It was Legacy . Legacy, who swore up and down that she would never be caught dead at Alpha Delta Pi. Legacy, who was rude beyond belief at their Round 1 party. Apparently she was hoping the tent talk she herself spread was true: that they would take anybody. I ask her how recruitment had gone: she replies (quite icily, if I do say so myself) that her legacy groups were not what she expected.

Another PNM whispers to me that she had been cut from all 4 of her legacy groups the second round. (Oh! That explains why she was on the phone that day.) I allow myself a smile, but on the inside I'm quite pleased. Apparently, being perfect shoes, weight, and connections doesn't assure you a top-tier group.

The party was fantastic, and I leave Alpha Delta Pi, ecstatic to return.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
To make an already long story a little shorter, I went to nearly every COB party Alpha Delta Pi offered, but never recieved a bid. I loved it, but apparently it wasn't meant to be.