Didn't Get Picked

[cardsfan489]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I would not rush again at your school since you were dropped by all the sororities.

I am usually a lurker on here, but I felt that I needed to say something with this remark. There is no reason not to rush again if you truly feel like you would like to be in the Greek system. A lot of things could go differently the second time around (like meeting more Greeks, joining clubs, getting a really good GPA) that would help A LOT!

Don't just say that she should give up! Not all of us are as lucky as to not have to re-rush as a sophomore.

outoftheloop- I have been EXACTLY where you are, and trust me, it cannot hurt to re-rush...trust me.

[texas*princess]

a long time lurker that just registered today?

[cardsfan489]

yes...I never actually even registered until now because I don't usually have much to add that hasn't been said. but this one hit pretty close to home since I, too, went through as a freshmen, was dropped by every house before pref and then went through as a sophomore and got my top choice!

ps- i'm not telling what sorority i am affiliated with.

Originally Posted by cardsfan489

I am usually a lurker on here, but I felt that I needed to say something with this remark. There is no reason not to rush again if you truly feel like you would like to be in the Greek system. A lot of things could go differently the second time around (like meeting more Greeks, joining clubs, getting a really good GPA) that would help A LOT!

Don't just say that she should give up! Not all of us are as lucky as to not have to re-rush as a sophomore.

outoftheloop- I have been EXACTLY where you are, and trust me, it cannot hurt to re-rush...trust me.

Why blow unnecessary sunshine up the OP's butt?

She was dropped by all the sororities. Greek life isn't for everyone.

[nittanyalum]

^^^Ok, you really should have paid closer attention during rush orientation or something. You landed in the 10-20%, as explained above, you just didn't continue to get invited back. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but greek life isn't for everyone. There are lots of other things to get involved in so you still have plenty of opportunity to make the most of your college experience. Good luck.

[alabamagal]

I felt for you and your rush experience. I have two daughters and the same thing happened to one of them. She did decide to rush a second time and the same thing happened again. We will never really know what happened but I believe it was because she is a little reserved and not a party girl. The one young lady's post - addressed that being too much of a partier can be negative but the other may also be true. It was especially painful because she was a legacy through me and her aunts. I trusted that the rules of my day would benefit her, but on her campus legacies were not valued.
My sorority life made my collegiate experience very special but the events with my daughter have changed the way I now feel about my affiliation. I will never feel the same way because of the heartache associated with her rejection. I did not want my second daughter to rush but she was determined and it turned out positively for her. It might have helped that my sorority was not on her campus so she viewed the chapters differently.
Don't be too hard on youself because the rush experience is hard on the chapter also. They have a limited time to meet the prospective members and decide who seems like a fit for their chapter. The sororities have likely picked some great girls but they have also picked a few that will not make good sisters. They have also missed some great girls - YOU! The process is not perfect. Don't beat yourself up . Look for another group on campus to join that is more accepting.
Good luck!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by alabamagal

I felt for you and your rush experience. I have two daughters and the same thing happened to one of them. She did decide to rush a second time and the same thing happened again. We will never really know what happened but I believe it was because she is a little reserved and not a party girl. The one young lady's post - addressed that being too much of a partier can be negative but the other may also be true. It was especially painful because she was a legacy through me and her aunts. I trusted that the rules of my day would benefit her, but on her campus legacies were not valued.
My sorority life made my collegiate experience very special but the events with my daughter have changed the way I now feel about my affiliation. I will never feel the same way because of the heartache associated with her rejection. I did not want my second daughter to rush but she was determined and it turned out positively for her. It might have helped that my sorority was not on her campus so she viewed the chapters differently.
Don't be too hard on youself because the rush experience is hard on the chapter also. They have a limited time to meet the prospective members and decide who seems like a fit for their chapter. The sororities have likely picked some great girls but they have also picked a few that will not make good sisters. They have also missed some great girls - YOU! The process is not perfect. Don't beat yourself up . Look for another group on campus to join that is more accepting.
Good luck!

A couple of things:

*It's not that legacies aren't valued. At some schools (particularly at big schools like Bama, LSU, etc.) the chapters have enough legacies going through to fill an entire pledge class with JUST legacies. It's just impossble for them to pledge EVERY SINGLE ONE. It's certainly not because they don't value them, because they do pledge quite a few legacies, just not ALL of them.

*I wouldn't say that the sororities made poor membership selection decisions (i.e. "they picked some girls that probably wouldn't make good sisters.") because your daughter was cut. I don't think that's fair.

[cardsfan489]

You, OTW, are not a nice person. I clicked on your link in your signature and I PRAY that one day your daughter doesn't get in a house. I will LOVE it.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by cardsfan489

You, OTW, are not a nice person. I clicked on your link in your signature and I PRAY that one day your daughter doesn't get in a house. I will LOVE it.

Well aren't you quite the peach. Those are some pretty big stones you're tossing around in that glass house of yours.

[violetpretty]

Do any of the following apply to you?

-low GPA
-junior/senior standing
-not having recommendations if most PNMs at your campus do
-unkempt appearance
-come off as very shy and/or awkward

While we won't be able to tell you why you were cut by every chapter (because we seriously don't know), if one or more of the above describe you, that might give you an idea.

Re-rushers at even the most competitive schools do get bids (and therefore invites) but the successful ones usually have several things in common:

1. A good GPA
2. Campus involvement/leadership
3. Friends in chapters
4. An open mind to ALL chapters
5. Recs if they are important at your campus
6. Polished appearance
7. Good conversation skills
8. A good fit with a chapter

If you can speculate and be honest with yourself as to what went wrong and you fix things to make yourself a better candidate, you may just have a shot.

As I recall, lilzetakitten actually re-rushed (successfully, obviously) after being cut from every chapter. Maybe she'll pipe in with her story or you can PM her?

[adpiucf]

Some of the sororities may have informal recruitment activities this fall and spring. You can contact the Office of Student Activities/Office of Greek Life to find out.

I wouldn't suggest going through formal recruitment a second time if you were dropped so early in the process on the first go-round.

If you transfer, there's no harm in checking out formal recruitment at your new school. That being said, please don't transfer solely to rush or because you're embarrassed about being cut from recruitment at this current school.

[lilzetakitten]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

As I recall, lilzetakitten actually re-rushed (successfully, obviously) after being cut from every chapter. Maybe she'll pipe in with her story or you can PM her?

Hey that's me!

I rushed the second semester of my freshman year (we had spring formal recruitment). Our school had 4 chapters. I was invited back to 2 chapters on night 3, but was not invited to any Pref parties. I ended up going through recruitment with Zeta Tau Alpha, which was colonizing at our school after formal recruitment. Clearly, that went well for me

I don't think it would necessarily be bad to try again. I did know a few girls who tried once and didn't do well for some reason or another (shy, didn't know many people, tried too hard, etc) and managed to do well the second time around (like me!) but I also knew just as many girls who were clearly cut for a reason. Only you can determine if you're ready to try again.

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by cardsfan489

You, OTW, are not a nice person. I clicked on your link in your signature and I PRAY that one day your daughter doesn't get in a house. I will LOVE it.

And given this response - do you think YOU are a nice person?

Because from where I stand . . . wishing a bad experience on an innocent, and also hypothetical, person is NOT the action of a nice person. Where is that nice thread when you need it . . . .

[Nanners52674]

IBTL. . . Popcorn anyone???

[gee_ess]

I get the feeling, OP, that you were fairly unprepared going into recruitment. Your lack of knowledge of the terminology, particularly the term "rec" is a red flag.

Recruitment is like a job interview. You don't just walk in off the street and land a highly coveted position. The same can be true of recruitment. Can you shed some light on what your campus Greek life is like? Comment on Violetpretty's list above regarding what you think may have gone wrong, and we may be able to advise you better.