Is GDI better than not getting your top choice?

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by lawgal

I am afraid this comment really sounded elitist to me - was it meant to? Are you saying that someone without the good old girl network never has a chance at a top sorority on a competitive campus? Or was the qualifier - "as a general rule" - meant to refer not to the understanding of the posters but to the general chances of the pnm?

It seems to me that ignoring pnms without the steeped in tradition background would exclude many young women who could positively enhance and improve the sorority. Just my opinion...

Hi lawgal,

My apologies- I was not meaning to sound elitist at all. My point was that at a very competitive school there are a LOT of PNMs who come into rush having carefully researched and planned their recruitment- often years in advance if their mothers were Greek at competitive schools and know what it takes.

So when someone comes here ill-prepared at the last minute and is talking not only about wanting to rush at a competitive campus, but also about only being interested in a certain group of chapters (or perhaps even just one), they have no idea that the ship has sailed. Maybe they can get all those piles of recs etc. done in the 1-4 weeks prior to rush, but odds are they are still going to be far behind where they would have been with proper planning.

And the fact they come into the process so late and have not done basic planning/research makes their desire to rush and only go to X, Y or Z sorority all the more insulting in a way- even though they may not intend it that way.

The end result is someone who came into the process without giving it proper respect by trusting it and preparing for it, had unrealistic or misguided expectations and then hates and resents it when they don't get what they want.

I hope my posts on this topic will not shame or degrade anyone- but rather challenge future PNMs to get ready earlier and put a little faith in the process and in the chapters.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by lawgal

I am afraid this comment really sounded elitist to me - was it meant to? Are you saying that someone without the good old girl network never has a chance at a top sorority on a competitive campus? Or was the qualifier - "as a general rule" - meant to refer not to the understanding of the posters but to the general chances of the pnm?

It seems to me that ignoring pnms without the steeped in tradition background would exclude many young women who could positively enhance and improve the sorority. Just my opinion...

Not elitist, simply realistic. I don't believe she or anyone else would say PNMs are being ignored. But hard decisions do have to be made, especially on a super competitive campus and especially for a chapter that is considered a "top tier". Practically every PNM wants in that chapter and not everyone can be taken.

(Clarification: The following is not directed at Lawgal or her comment. Simply a general statement/opinion.)

It frustrates and at times even angers me when I read PNMs or moms or others continually ask "Why did I/she get cut? 4.0 GPA, great resume, several Recs, had great conversations, ... I thought they loved me/her!!!" I'm sorry but decisions have to be made and it happens. The chapter members aren't purposely trying to be mean. Nor is a member lying if she says she really likes a PNM. They are not being fake when they are excited to see PNMs return to the next round, only to cut her that night.

Who here has ever interviewed for a highly sought after job or even an entry level job at a large corporation where there were 100's if not 1,000's of candidates? You may be qualified, have a sterling resume, glowing letters of recommendations and what you considered a great interview. The company hires someone else and you have no idea why you weren't selected. In your mind you were just as qualified as who they hired.

Is that company elitist for choosing another candidate they felt would fit better in their corporate environment? Someone they thought had just a bit shinier of a resume? Someone whose personal recommendation came from a highly respected employee within the company whom they know and trust? Or any other recruitment equivalent reason. Is the company mean, fake or lied to you when you thought you had a great interview? Of course not. They simply chose another candidate. It's nothing personal. Most people can accept that when it comes to a job, but they can't look at it this objectively when it comes to a competitive sorority Recruitment.

[SureSister]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Who here has ever interviewed for a highly sought after job or even an entry level job at a large corporation where there were 100's if not 1,000's of candidates? You may be qualified, have a sterling resume, glowing letters of recommendations and what you considered a great interview. The company hires someone else and you have no idea why you weren't selected. In your mind you were just as qualified as who they hired.

Is that company elitist for choosing another candidate they felt would fit better in their corporate environment? Someone they thought had just a bit shinier of a resume? Someone whose personal recommendation came from a highly respected employee within the company whom they know and trust? Or any other recruitment equivalent reason. Is the company mean, fake or lied to you when you thought you had a great interview? Of course not. They simply chose another candidate. It's nothing personal. Most people can accept that when it comes to a job, but they can't look at it this objectively when it comes to a competitive sorority Recruitment.

Excellent analogy, Zillini.

My though has always been this: Sorority recruitment is, in many ways, a snapshot of many other processes that we face in life. When large numbers of people must be whittled into smaller groups, there are processes that are generally followed.

Consider similarities to drafts in the military and in professional athletics. In both cases, people are poised to be unhappy, satisfied, or elated with their individual results. Were young men disappointed when they were selected to go to war (years ago)? Obviously in this case, the winners were those where not selected. And how about drafts in professional sports? Are athletes disappointed when they are not selected for their dream team? For any team? Of course.

Rejection is tough, yet ever present.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

Excellent post as usual EE-BO. One of the things I have been contemplating recently is why there seems to be a disproportionate number of unhappy recruitment endings on Greekchat. .....I have come to the conclusion that many of the women coming here prior to recruitment probably lack the understanding of the Greek system that many others already have, so they may not be quite as prepared for a successful recruitment.

That is exactly bang on. On GC, we generally don't hear from girls who got into the "top houses" at UF, Ole Miss etc. That is because these girls are well prepared and they know what they are doing. They are not soliciting random advice from a bunch of strangers on Greek Chat. They've rushed, got the house they wanted and are now out enjoying themselves.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

That is exactly bang on. On GC, we generally don't hear from girls who got into the "top houses" at UF, Ole Miss etc. That is because these girls are well prepared and they know what they are doing. They are not soliciting random advice from a bunch of strangers on Greek Chat. They've rushed, got the house they wanted and are now out enjoying themselves.

Occasionally we hear from PNMs who get into "top chapters" at competitive schools, but they are usually just sharing their story, rather than soliciting advice.

[lawgal]

But many sorority members do object (and rightly so) to being labeled elitist and snobs.

[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by lawgal

But many sorority members do object (and rightly so) to being labeled elitist and snobs.

There's a big difference between being selective and being elitist snobs.

[lawgal]

EE-BO

Your clarification really did help and I also appreciate your comments, not only on this thread but also on others. I also co-sign your comments about research and preparation because they apply in life after college as well. I have felt insulted in the legal system when parties have appeared before me and haven't bothered to prepare. Their ultimate unfavorable outcome is often a result of lack of preparation.

[Bamamom13]

I think this thread should have a sticky on it!

[basket96]

I think what frustrates me the most is that PNMs fail to take into account that once they are in, say, their #2 or #3 choice, THEY make a difference and shape the future of that chapter. A new member class can turn a chapter around like that! I don't know why so many fail to see this potential when rushing. A smaller sorority may give a New Member MORE opportunity to hold office and really do something positive.

This is why IMO it is so important to keep an open mind. Membership is truly what you make of it!

(/ok, now I am off of my soap box/)

[XIgapeach]

Originally Posted by basket96

I think what frustrates me the most is that PNMs fail to take into account that once they are in, say, their #2 or #3 choice, THEY make a difference and shape the future of that chapter. A new member class can turn a chapter around like that! I don't know why so many fail to see this potential when rushing. A smaller sorority may give a New Member MORE opportunity to hold office and really do something positive.

This is why IMO it is so important to keep an open mind. Membership is truly what you make of it!

(/ok, now I am off of my soap box/)

I'm totally stealing the "golf clap" from aopirose. Awesome! Wish more girls would realize that instead of succumbing to the herd mentality. The power of individual thinking in someways is overshadowed by the need to follow everyone else's thinking, such is life. But that just may not be the right answer for that particular person, and later, whether you decide to drop because you didn't get what you think you wanted, you may find you have denied yourself a great opportunity.

[exlurker]

I agree with points made in posts in this thread, especially:

EE-BO: My point was that at a very competitive school there are a LOT of PNMs who come into rush having carefully researched and planned their recruitment- often years in advance if their mothers were Greek at competitive schools and know what it takes.

So when someone comes here ill-prepared at the last minute and is talking not only about wanting to rush at a competitive campus, but also about only being interested in a certain group of chapters (or perhaps even just one), they have no idea that the ship has sailed. Maybe they can get all those piles of recs etc. done in the 1-4 weeks prior to rush, but odds are they are still going to be far behind where they would have been with proper planning.
. . .

The end result is someone who came into the process without giving it proper respect by trusting it and preparing for it, had unrealistic or misguided expectations and then hates and resents it when they don't get what they want.

I hope my posts on this topic will . . . challenge future PNMs to get ready earlier and put a little faith in the process and in the chapters.


CutiePie2000: That is exactly bang on. On GC, we generally don't hear from girls who got into the "top houses" at UF, Ole Miss etc. That is because these girls are well prepared and they know what they are doing. They are not soliciting random advice from a bunch of strangers on Greek Chat. . . .

LadyLonghorn: Excellent post as usual EE-BO. One of the things I have been contemplating recently is why there seems to be a disproportionate number of unhappy recruitment endings on Greekchat. .....I have come to the conclusion that many of the women coming here prior to recruitment probably lack the understanding of the Greek system that many others already have, so they may not be quite as prepared for a successful recruitment.


So – maybe after the excitement about fall recruitment and fall colonizations has died down a bit, I would encourage GC “regulars” and “experts” to post new or updated information that’s pretty much targeted toward the young women who are “clueless,” “new to it all,” “first in family to consider Greek life.”

In the past I’ve posted a handful of notices about Area Alumnae Panhellenic information (and recommendation – getting) sessions, trying to emphasize that such things can help the “unprepared.”

But the few things I've posted aren't even the tip of the iceberg compared to what a lot of well-prepared young women -- and yes, their parents -- go into recruitment knowing. There's a lot more knowledge that probably could be shared with PNMs. Certainly other GCers can give much more positive and useful info that might help a lot of great young women get up to speed about what to expect, and what they need to do.

[Elephant Walk]

Yes, GDI is better than not getting the top choice.

[Kitemom]

My daughter friend got cut from her top choices last year primarly due to grades. She let people talk her into dropping out of the three that did send her a pref invite. My daughter told her to stay. Needless to say she would be happier now being anyone one of the three instead of nothing. She knows this and is going through rush again and will be Happy in Any group now. She just wants to be apart of the dance.

[KSUViolet06]

I always say that (in my experience), I've never heard a girl say in hindsight that she regretted accepting a bid. But I'd be a rich woman if I had a dollar for every girl I've heard say "I wish I wouldn't have dropped out of recruitment" or "I wish I would've taken my bid."