Once you accept a bid... - Page 2

Pawn · #1 09-11-2008, 02:26 PM

I believe so. I will check with her later to ask and get more specifics.

agzg · #2 09-11-2008, 02:21 PM

Even if they do "surprise" her, and believe me, if they tell them or not, it's never really 100% a surprise, she can bail right up until they walk into the initiation room.

Unfortunately, although it is hazing, it's fairly common that new members don't know the date of their initiation. Active members think it "takes the fun" out of being a new member.

Here's a good clue that initiation is coming soon: New member educator says that the new members need a VERY specific outfit (coming all the way down to type of shoes, length of hem, etc), and that it's due by X day. Chapters try to get that stuff taken care of a couple of weeks before initiation.

gee_ess · #3 09-12-2008, 12:40 PM

From what I have seen, the trend for shorter new member periods, thus early initiation, seems to be based on each NPC group, not necessarily the campus. I know of only one NPC group that waits a full semester (give or take) to initiate -Chi O, but there may be others.

Pawn · #4 12-09-2008, 03:46 PM

Just wanted to let you all know that my daughter was recently initiated into her chapter. Although she's still not 100% sure that this was the right choice, she decided that she really wanted to be in a sorority. She's been going to the events that she feels comfortable with and will be living in the house next year. She wants to try and get a leadership position in the chapter, which I think is great. I also reminded her that next year there will be new members so more potential for "girls like her". I hope it works out and just wanted to thank you all again for all your great advice.

#5 12-09-2008, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawn

Just wanted to let you all know that my daughter was recently initiated into her chapter. Although she's still not 100% sure that this was the right choice, she decided that she really wanted to be in a sorority. She's been going to the events that she feels comfortable with and will be living in the house next year. She wants to try and get a leadership position in the chapter, which I think is great. I also reminded her that next year there will be new members so more potential for "girls like her". I hope it works out and just wanted to thank you all again for all your great advice.

How wonderful for your daughter! It's wonderful that she wants to get involved and that she'll be living in the house next year. She'll be at 100% in no time.

ComradesTrue · #6 12-09-2008, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawn

I also reminded her that next year there will be new members so more potential for "girls like her".

You have given her wonderful words of wisdom. So many new members/new initiates forget that 25% (give or take) of the chapter turns over ever year. Now she will be able to help select the next class, which, as you state, is potential for more "girls like her."

AXOrushadvisor · #7 12-09-2008, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawn

I was never in a sorority but have been trying to give my daughter, a freshman some good advice. I've been reading tons of posts on this site and your stories/answers have been great. My daughter recently finished recruitment and ended up with a bid to a chapter she did not feel comfortable with. Don't get me wrong, its a great chapter and many girls she knows were thrilled with their bids. She just does not feel that it is the place for her. She's kind of shy and not a big partier, like many of the girls in the chapter. Anyway, I encouraged her to accept the bid, which she did. Now she's worried she did the wrong thing. If she decides to quit now, before initiation, does that preclude her from going through COB this year or rushing again next year? Would she have been better off not listing this chapter after preference night and only going with one choice (she obviously did not get her first choice and would not have received any bid)? Or not accepting the bid? I'm worried I gave her bad advice. She's very disappointed--help!

Have her give it a chance. My guess is there are some girls like her in the house. In the end if it is not a good fit she can try again next year, but that is hard. Single preferencing is tough because at a lot of campuses it is not seen as totaly participating which can limit your options. I think she did the right thing. She can not COB this year and has to wait until 1 year from when she got the bid.

agzg · #8 12-09-2008, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

Have her give it a chance. My guess is there are some girls like her in the house. In the end if it is not a good fit she can try again next year, but that is hard. Single preferencing is tough because at a lot of campuses it is not seen as totaly participating which can limit your options. I think she did the right thing. She can not COB this year and has to wait until 1 year from when she got the bid.

You must have missed the update - the daughter in question was recently initiated and things are getting better for her in the chapter. She's hoping that things will continue to get better.

ETA: Pawn it's great that your daughter is giving it a shot. It seems you've done well to stress to her that she'll get out what she puts into any organization. I'll wish her luck - hopefully it just keeps getting better!

KillarneyRose · #9 07-12-2013, 08:50 PM

A related question: what if the OP's daughter received a bid but didn't accept it? Would she be allowed to participate in informal rush? Although I suppose a lot of bridges may have been burned?

AOII Angel · #10 07-12-2013, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

A related question: what if the OP's daughter received a bid but didn't accept it? Would she be allowed to participate in informal rush? Although I suppose a lot of bridges may have been burned?

No. By signing her bid card, she was saying she would accept whatever bid she got. If she declined the bid she would not be able to participate in COB, no matter the circumstance you can come up with.

DubaiSis · #11 07-12-2013, 09:49 PM

Except changing schools, which invalids MRABA. NOT that I'm advocating that as a reasonable alternative.

DeltaBetaBaby · #12 07-13-2013, 03:59 AM

An interesting question I don't think I've seen answered:

Patty PNM gets a bid and doesn't accept it. A few weeks later, the chapter announces that they are closing, and releases their NM's to go pledge elsewhere. Patty PNM is now released from her MRABA, too, right?

HQWest · #13 07-13-2013, 08:38 AM

Nope - pledges of XYZ are offered chance to initiate and go alum early or drop and be eligible for COB the following semester.
Patti PNM said she would accept her bid and didn't, she has to wait until the next formal recruitment

DeltaBetaBaby · #14 07-13-2013, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HQWest

Nope - pledges of XYZ are offered chance to initiate and go alum early or drop and be eligible for COB the following semester.
Patti PNM said she would accept her bid and didn't, she has to wait until the next formal recruitment

Oh, interesting. Wouldn't the existing pledges be allowed to COB immediately, if there were other groups that wanted to pick them up?

HQWest · #15 07-13-2013, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Oh, interesting. Wouldn't the existing pledges be allowed to COB immediately, if there were other groups that wanted to pick them up?

I suppose they could if the decision to close happened right after recruitment, but then they would be going to another chapter that did not make total with recruitment? And they would be joining and be the new girl nobody knows right around when most have already picked a little?
They would have more options if they wait until the end of the semester.