Leaving Fraternity

[vaisbest]

I counselor teenagers and I keep reading advise on these pages that makes me wonder if you actually care about what you are saying or just being insensitive or what? when you decide to leave any organization whether it is a job or sorority or frat or even social network, you don't just tell everyone before you have researched the ramifications. now, with that said, when leaving a frat at the college, you can be penalized in ways that have nothing to do with money or what was said during rush. there are other members that like to make you uncomfortable, gossip about you and in general make you cringe into the background when you see them. one young lady I have counseled feels so uncomfortable around the girls from the sorority she left that she goes in another direction when she sees them. They whisper and point at her and make her feel less than because she did not want to be a part of their sorority. Ladies, are we all so heartless that we don't understand this? If you think your sorority or your daughter does not do this, you might be very surprised to know how she treats other young women. and guys can be just as petty. GET ALL THE INFO YOU CAN BEFORE ANYONE CONNECTED TO THE FRAT KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS TO LEAVE.

[33girl]

Thank you for the compliment (I think) but are you talking to me in the rest of your post??? I'm really .

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by vaisbest

there are other members that like to make you uncomfortable, gossip about you and in general make you cringe into the background when you see them. one young lady I have counseled feels so uncomfortable around the girls from the sorority she left that she goes in another direction when she sees them. They whisper and point at her and make her feel less than because she did not want to be a part of their sorority. Ladies, are we all so heartless that we don't understand this? If you think your sorority or your daughter does not do this, you might be very surprised to know how she treats other young women. and guys can be just as petty.

I'm sure that some will scream at me for this but ... we also have to realize that when we choose a decision that is in our personal best interest (leaving and organization) we cannot assume that everyone else is whispering and gossiping about us behind our backs. We have to have thicker skins and realize that the world doesn't revolve around us.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by vaisbest

I counselor teenagers and I keep reading advise on these pages that makes me wonder if you actually care about what you are saying or just being insensitive or what? when you decide to leave any organization whether it is a job or sorority or frat or even social network, you don't just tell everyone before you have researched the ramifications. now, with that said, when leaving a frat at the college, you can be penalized in ways that have nothing to do with money or what was said during rush. there are other members that like to make you uncomfortable, gossip about you and in general make you cringe into the background when you see them. one young lady I have counseled feels so uncomfortable around the girls from the sorority she left that she goes in another direction when she sees them. They whisper and point at her and make her feel less than because she did not want to be a part of their sorority. Ladies, are we all so heartless that we don't understand this? If you think your sorority or your daughter does not do this, you might be very surprised to know how she treats other young women. and guys can be just as petty. GET ALL THE INFO YOU CAN BEFORE ANYONE CONNECTED TO THE FRAT KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS TO LEAVE.

frat?

talk about offensive, i'm not in a frat.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

frat?

talk about offensive, i'm not in a frat.

Some people are and maybe that poster is talking about those people.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Some people are and maybe that poster is talking about those people.

Yea. I'm surprised these seasoned posters don't know that by now.

[DSTCHAOS]

Good and good luck.

[ECUJacob]

but we do not post this kind of policy information on our website. I would be shocked if any fraternity did quite frankly- this is member selection (or in this case "de-selection") policy.

Actually, Beta Theta Pi does post our Code and Governance documents on the national website. These documents do contain definitions of status for undergraduate members and chapters. It does not, however, give a specific list of things to do in order to reach a certain status; in this case, termination of membership.

I do agree with the majority that such questions can easily be answered by a member of the person's chapter or administrative officers. A quick search of LXA's website yielded this:

Lambda Chi Alpha Fraternity
8741 Founders Road
Indianapolis, Indiana 46268-1389
Phone: (317) 872-8000
1-800-209-6837
Fax: (317) 875-3828
Email: headquarters@lambdachi.org

[fivestarpikapp]

Technically you can drop your letters, but you will be frowned upon by all greek life. You're technically are allowed to, but no fraternity will take you...

[Psi U MC Vito]

Actually you technically aren't allowed to renounce membership in your fraternity in most cases.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Actually you technically aren't allowed to renounce membership in your fraternity in most cases.

That doesn't make sense. If someone doesn't want to remain a member of the fraternity, why on Earth would that fraternity want to keep him around?

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

That doesn't make sense. If someone doesn't want to remain a member of the fraternity, why on Earth would that fraternity want to keep him around?

I doubt the "first" fraternity would want him. I took Psi U MC Vito's post to mean that a member can not simply state "I am no longer an ABC" and be done with it. The IHQ would have to formally (legally) terminate his membership for it to be fact.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by TSteven

I doubt the "first" fraternity would want him. I took Psi U MC Vito's post to mean that a member can not simply state "I am no longer an ABC" and be done with it. The IHQ would have to formally (legally) terminate his membership for it to be fact.

Yeah that's exactly what I meant. And alot of IHQ's wouldn't be willing to grant it.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by TSteven

I doubt the "first" fraternity would want him. I took Psi U MC Vito's post to mean that a member can not simply state "I am no longer an ABC" and be done with it. The IHQ would have to formally (legally) terminate his membership for it to be fact.

OK, that makes much more sense.

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Yeah that's exactly what I meant. And alot of IHQ's wouldn't be willing to grant it.

Are you saying that I/HQs would prefer to keep a member who no longer wants to be affiliated with the organization? My experience has shown that they'd be happy to trim the fat.

[Psi U MC Vito]

I'm just an undergrad so i have no idea how IHQ would react. But personally I can see them requiring you to keep up with all your obligations to the fraternity, including financial. I know that during the pledge process my chapter emphasizes that membership is for life, not just four years, and no turning back after youo are initiated. Just my opinion though.