Woman sues UF fraternity brothers for videotaping sexual encounter

[ZTAngel]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

What I am saying is that I have no sympathy for a whore who spreads her legs and then gets it publicized after- even if it is in a legally actionable manner.

If she had behaved like a proper lady in the first place, none of this would have happened.

Hi, 1953 is calling and wants its morals and cultural views back. Think what you want about the girl for suing but to call her a whore for having intercourse....wow. The sex was consensual meaning the guy was quite all right with it as well. Does that make him a whore too?

I just can't believe it's 2008 and we're still calling women whores and labeling them as "improper" because they have sex out of the wedlock.

It's college. People hook up with each other. It happens. But nobody should have to worry that their sexual acts will be caught on camera without their permission.

I'd probably sue them too. I think their sentence was way too light. A person is not allowed to be video taped in a place in which there is perceived privacy. Like rest rooms, changing rooms and bed rooms. If she was having sex in a public area, yeah burn the whore on a stake and sell it to joe francis. But a girl is allowed to have sex with a boy in a bedroom, that's not an illegal thing for her to do no matter what your minister says. So she has every right in the world to ask the court for justice in any way the law deems possible, including a civil suit. And I'm saying she has the right to do it, not that i think everyone should think she's entitled to what she is asking for.

And for everyone who is thinking she shouldn't put herself through any more trauma by doing this, that is really backwards and messed up. Are you saying victims of crimes shouldn't press charges or go through court cases in order to get justice or even possibly preventing that crime from happening to someone else?

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by jessicaelaine

If she was having sex in a public area, yeah burn the whore on a stake and sell it to joe francis.

And for everyone who is thinking she shouldn't put herself through any more trauma by doing this, that is really backwards and messed up. Are you saying victims of crimes shouldn't press charges or go through court cases in order to get justice or even possibly preventing that crime from happening to someone else?

I like the Joe Francis line.

As for the second part of your post I have quoted, I very much agree victims should try to exact justice when they are wronged. Too many victims of sexually invasive/violent crimes never report them, and it just lets the perps do it again.

But in this case we have a situation where the young lady caught the filming in the act and got the tape away from the guys before they could do anything with it. She was engaging in consensual sexual activity, and so the only real crime I see here is that the other guy got a free peek at this young woman without her permission- and that her paramour was complicit in making the other guy's crime possible.

On that grounds the punishment seems to fit the crime here- but with a full appreciation of the fact if she had not caught the videotaping when she did, it very likely would have been shown to a lot of other people.

But it was not. And so by filing the civil suit she is clearly just out for some money- and that does say something negative about her character in my view. It is one thing to seek justice, but quite another to turn the thwarted attempts at lameness by 2 kids into a big payday.

Originally Posted by EE-BO

But it was not. And so by filing the civil suit she is clearly just out for some money- and that does say something negative about her character in my view. It is one thing to seek justice, but quite another to turn the thwarted attempts at lameness by 2 kids into a big payday.

Civil suits do not mean the person is just out for money all the time. Sometimes money is the only thing people understand and perhaps 10 days in jail and 50 hours community service did not communicate to these men that what they did was wrong. In order for our system to work criminals must have a fear of getting caught and the possible punishment that is greater than the possible rewards of that crime. And I said possible rewards, meaning that just because those rewards didn't happen because she caught them shouldn't mean they shouldn't be held responsible for what they did.

We don't know what they were planning on doing with the tape. We don't know if this women was the first or would have been the last. If it were me, I would sue to make sure I was the last and that other men would be deterred from doing it to anyone else.

And this is not the first time people found florida sex crime laws unjust. http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/p...Y&pageId=3.2.1
http://www.pnj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/art...NION/807300333

[collegegirlnj]

I'm sorry if this is disrespectful, but I came across this thread in Google, and couldn't help but jump in....I think this girl has labeled herself a party girl on MySpace so, the guys acted reasonably..and I'm a girl!! I don't know about this guy though..

http://www.michaelcrook.org/blog/200...wanted-it-bad/

This blogger essentially calls her out as a slut, and I don't think that's right. But then, SHE was the one that took 20 mins to find the damn thing

[la_boca_loca]

Originally Posted by jessicaelaine

Civil suits do not mean the person is just out for money all the time.

It does when the person has suffered no injury which warrants compensation. When someone is physically injured, money can go toward making their life a little bitter. For what does Lauren Highley deserve to be compensated? How will the money help her life, by affording her a fancy car and nice clothes?

[CutiePie2000]

"Unbeknownst to Highley, Farias' fraternity brother, Kraft, was also in the room, armed with a video camera and hiding beneath a blanket on another bed. "

How can you hide under a "blanket"? Was he thin as a waif? Or was it more like pluffy duvet cover? Hmmmm.....

Originally Posted by la_boca_loca

It does when the person has suffered no injury which warrants compensation. When someone is physically injured, money can go toward making their life a little bitter. For what does Lauren Highley deserve to be compensated? How will the money help her life, by affording her a fancy car and nice clothes?

I'm assuming you didn't get a change to read past my first sentence because I explained what I meant. "Sometimes money is the only thing people understand and perhaps 10 days in jail and 50 hours community service did not communicate to these men that what they did was wrong." Or maybe you just didn't understand. Perhaps she didn't feel like the sentence was just. If these men had to pay money to her in a great amount they would understand better that what they did was wrong and it was possibly deter other's from trying the same thing.

There is something in a civil lawsuit called "punitive damages"
"Where the defendant’s conduct is found to be intentional or willful or wanton or malicious, the courts may permit an award of punitive damages in addition to compensatory damages.
Punitive damages are intended to punish the defendant and to discourage the conduct of the type the defendant engaged in." http://law.freeadvice.com/general_pr...s_punitive.htm

This is very common, so don't assume that all money in law suits are awards to making their life a little better. For example if a drunk driver broke a little boy's skate board he might only have to pay $50 in compensation, but that's not really going to effect him very much so he might have to pay thousands on dollars in punitive damages.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by la_boca_loca

It does when the person has suffered no injury which warrants compensation. When someone is physically injured, money can go toward making their life a little bitter. For what does Lauren Highley deserve to be compensated? How will the money help her life, by affording her a fancy car and nice clothes?

A judge/jury get to decide what warrants compensation, not you.

Not knowing anything about Florida Law, I'm assuming that this is an "invasion of privacy" suit. Depending on the law in Florida and the specific facts, this could be a very winnable case for her.

This, if nothing else, is a good object lesson for active members who might be reading it -- there are a lot of things which can get you sued which you probably didn't know could get you sued.

[EE-BO]

I am not talking about sex out of wedlock. This was clearly a casual encounter at a frat house in the bedroom. It was not even a girlfriend/boyfriend thing.

And frankly she can do as she pleases- I am just pointing out how it looks. It has nothing to do with 1953 versus 2008- it has to do with the fact most ladies do not have one night stands in fraternity houses.

I do agree that her right to privacy is totally separate from the moral argument. It is just that from a public perception standpoint she is really screwing herself over. This is not a good way to be famous when you start looking for a husband (admittedly a double standard expectation of women which I think unfortunate- but there it is.)

Edit- I also apologize for being so coarse about this. I was working late last night and not in a good mood. Also, as I am now in my 30s I am seeing a lot of ladies I know who made bad calls early in life and how it is devastating them now. It is very frustrating to watch people do something we all do from time to time and just happen to be the one who gets caught up in a bad situation. I don't hate this young lady. I just think the lawsuit is bad decision #2 and makes the perfectly normal bad decision #1 into something that is even worse- i.e. suggesting she is a gold digger. Saying whore on an internet forum doesn't exactly help the situation, but it was my gut reaction at the time.

[ZTAngel]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

And frankly she can do as she pleases- I am just pointing out how it looks. It has nothing to do with 1953 versus 2008- it has to do with the fact most ladies do not have one night stands in fraternity houses.

That's my argument right there. I'm really not trying to pick on you...I promise...I'm just pointing out the differences in how we view men and women when it comes to sex. Ladies don't have one night stands in fraternity house but what about the fraternity guys that are engaged in that same act with the lady who had sex in the frat house? He ultimately is still considered a gentlemen.

I just kinda feel that a lot of the posts have in a way blamed her for getting filmed. I don't agree with the suing part but it's like she's being bashed for hooking up with the guy in the first place. Did she make a mistake by having sex with this douchebag? Yes. Did she deserve to be filmed? No. To take it a step further, this is exactly the reason why many women won't come forward when they're sexually assaulted. The public passes judgments on her such as: "Well, if she weren't a party girl, this wouldn't have happened to her" or "If she didn't go home with this guy, this wouldn't have happened." Nobody deserves for this type of stuff to happen. Obviously, this is something that hits close to home as one of my best friends was raped not too long ago after making a bad choice...she was drunk and went back to her friend's house to sleep it off and do a bit of kissing. He ended up raping her and she didn't report it because she didn't want the police, or the public, to dig through her personal life and pass judgments on her for her choices or past reputations as they tend to do with the female victim. I would hate for anyone to think of her as a whore just because she made a poor choice and she was a bit of a party girl....

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by ZTAngel

That's my argument right there. I'm really not trying to pick on you...I promise...I'm just pointing out the differences in how we view men and women when it comes to sex. Ladies don't have one night stands in fraternity house but what about the fraternity guys that are engaged in that same act with the lady who had sex in the frat house? He ultimately is still considered a gentlemen.

That's because people believe in the "boys will be boys" nonsense. And it is nonsense.

[SWTXBelle]

I have drilled into my daughters' (18 and 16) heads all kinds of rules to live by that are designed to 1.) make sure they are safe and 2.) help them make choices which demonstrate self-respect. It's tough raising girls in this culture which seems to put such a premium on sexiness.

I plan to do the same with my boys (5 and 6) - and also include what I think are behaviors which demonstrate respect for themselves, and for the young women they will someday date. I hope they will be fraternity men, and I hope they will treat all women as well as they would want men to treat their sisters. "Boys will be boys" just won't cut it.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I have drilled into my daughters' (18 and 16) heads all kinds of rules to live by that are designed to 1.) make sure they are safe and 2.) help them make choices which demonstrate self-respect. It's tough raising girls in this culture which seems to put such a premium on sexiness.

I plan to do the same with my boys (5 and 6) - and also include what I think are behaviors which demonstrate respect for themselves, and for the young women they will someday date. I hope they will be fraternity men, and I hope they will treat all women as well as they would want men to treat their sisters. "Boys will be boys" just won't cut it.

This is excellent and I love the gender egalitarian way of raising children.

Both your daughters and sons will have to overcome peer pressure that tries to override what you taught them. But kids who are taught usually defer back to what they know is right. Even if they make occasional mistakes (prayerfully not really big ones) because no one's perfect.

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I have drilled into my daughters' (18 and 16) heads all kinds of rules to live by that are designed to 1.) make sure they are safe and 2.) help them make choices which demonstrate self-respect. It's tough raising girls in this culture which seems to put such a premium on sexiness.

I plan to do the same with my boys (5 and 6) - and also include what I think are behaviors which demonstrate respect for themselves, and for the young women they will someday date. I hope they will be fraternity men, and I hope they will treat all women as well as they would want men to treat their sisters. "Boys will be boys" just won't cut it.

On the "boys will be boys" just won't cut it, I am of the opinion a fundamental change in career opportunities in the past couple of generations makes that a new reality.

Women don't have to rely on getting married to find financial stability or make a life for themselves. And while marriage is still a great thing, I would imagine better practical options for women today make it easier for them to have expectations of potential husbands more in line with what men expect of potential wives.