Would you marry someone in the military?

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

LOL, reminds me of when I first moved to Virginia Beach and then-fiance Mr. KR and I were hanging out with some friends at the officers club at NAS Oceana (the big jet base on the east coast). I was bummed beyond belief that none of the guys walking around in flight suits looked like Maverick or Iceman. Not even a little bit.

So true!! I work at the base here in DC and we had an event and showed "Top Gun" and one of the officers from the Ceremonial Guard showed up in his old flight suit. All of my female co-workers were like, where's the hot pilots like in the movie?

Although down at Pax River where there actually are planes, there are occaisionally some hotties in the flight suits. I wish I got to go there more .

[texas*princess]

Almost exactly a year ago, one of my best friends married her bf of a few years. He is in the Marines.

They got married during one of this breaks, and then he got deployed. He's currently somewhere north (Carolinas maybe?) because that's where he's currently stationed.

If I were her, I wouldn't think of that as much of a marriage. I mean, she's seen him maybe only a few days since they were married.

Granted, she could move up there with him, but right now for whatever reason she doesn't want to move arund until they know for sure where he'll be so she doesn't have to keep bouncing around.

So IMHO, that makes me wonder why they even got married in the first place, but I'm sure she had her reasons as he was about to be deployed to Iraq.

[alum]

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

LOL, reminds me of when I first moved to Virginia Beach and then-fiance Mr. KR and I were hanging out with some friends at the officers club at NAS Oceana (the big jet base on the east coast). I was bummed beyond belief that none of the guys walking around in flight suits looked like Maverick or Iceman. Not even a little bit.

And on that note, there's a big difference between cadets in full dress vs. 2LTs in BDUs!

[KunjaPrincess]

Would I marry someone in the military?

Of course, I did. In fact we were both active duty when we got married.
We've been married 6 years and this year was the first anniversary ever that we got to spend together with nothing military going on.

He's now a civilian but I am still in the National Guard and don't envision getting out anytime soon. He knows the deal, knows I may get deployed again and is Ok with it. That's why we have a strong support group in place for the lil ones.

However, if I was never in the military I don't know that I would have been able to really understand all the trials and tribulations of deployments and late nights. That really did help.

[KSUViolet06]

Yes I bumped an old thread.

I've dated some military men in my life, and knowing what I know I'm not exactly sure that I would marry one.

I don't think I would mind if the guy had a more stationary position within the military (i.e. recruiting something) or if he was higher ranked (I'm an "officer" kind of girl).

It would also depend on the number of years of active duty he has left. I can do a deployment if you know it's going to be your last one, but not if you have x more years of active duty left and who knows how many deployments.

[Benzgirl]

Maybe we should turn it around. A military man would never marry ME. I'm too outspoken about decreasing the defense budget and diverting it to Education and Health Care. I also think we should have been out of Iraq by now. That said, my views start too many arguments of which I'm not willing to compromise.

My very good friend married a man in the air force. Had he not left the service, they would have been divorced. Desert Storm (during and after), created a huge strain on their marriage. A couple of times he has mentioned reenlisting, and she puts the Yellow Pages on the kitchen table, opened to "Divorce Attorneys"

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

At this point in time, I can safely say NO. I'm a civilian, but I grew up in a military town, my father served, my grandfather and a few other male relatives made careers out of it. I feel like there are more downsides to benefits at this point in time, and with my political leanings wouldn't mesh well with my being an officer's wife (because that's the only way I would do it if I got older). I don't like the idea of my husband being away for a year or so, while I was home being mom and dad until he got home. Call me a selfish liberal, but I just won't do it at this point in time. The benefits as they stand right now don't impress me that much--I've heard that Tricare is a bitch compared to our private insurance.

Five years later, the answer is still a resounding NO! And it's not for political reasons, I have a career that necessitates my being in a handful of cities. I can't move around a whole lot. There's also the deployment issue--I did a long distance relationship for years in college, and I hope to never do it again. Why would I get into a marriage where that could be standard?

[tld221]

Originally Posted by amanda6035

And for those who keep saying "hot in uniform" comments.....um, there are some pretty ugly dudes in the military. Taken em out of uniform and see them in normal every day streetwear and they arent that hot. Uniforms are hot simply because they are uniforms.

you aint never LIED! its Fleet Week here and SATC LIED hard... none of them men are hot. i wouldnt take nunnanem home for a quick romp.

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Maybe we should turn it around. A military man would never marry ME. I'm too outspoken about decreasing the defense budget and diverting it to Education and Health Care. I also think we should have been out of Iraq by now. That said, my views start too many arguments of which I'm not willing to compromise.

My very good friend married a man in the air force. Had he not left the service, they would have been divorced. Desert Storm (during and after), created a huge strain on their marriage. A couple of times he has mentioned reenlisting, and she puts the Yellow Pages on the kitchen table, opened to "Divorce Attorneys"

sounds like my parents' marriage (and eventual divorce). left for Desert Storm in 91 (to Germany) and came back in 93 (the years may be inaccurate, but it was around that time, early 90s). they filed for divorce as soon as we got back in the states.

[christiangirl]

No. I don't think I could handle the lifestyle. I love to travel as much as the next person, but I don't like the idea of having to uproot myself, sometimes at a moment's notice. Plus, not having him around, constantly worrying if he would come home the next time, etc. These things would bother me from the beginning, but once we had kids this would absolutely drive me nuts. Not that you can't raise healthy, secure kids while you're moving around (or that kids who never move always grow up well), but uprooting them would worry me. I'd worry about them having all sorts of attachment issues and whatnot. I know that's silly, but it'd probably go through my mind anyway.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Maybe we should turn it around. A military man would never marry ME. I'm too outspoken about decreasing the defense budget and diverting it to Education and Health Care. I also think we should have been out of Iraq by now. That said, my views start too many arguments of which I'm not willing to compromise.

AMEN.

[SthrnZeta]

I always said no, never, not in a million years, fun to date but not marriage material. And here I am, engaged to a signal officer who's deployed for 12-15 months. You can't help who you fall in love with and who you're meant to be with. And if that right man happens to be in the military and has to leave for a while, it'll be worth the wait. You don't know what you can handle until you're asked... And I strongly believe God never asks you to shoulder more than you can bare.