What's with all these invites?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

You are under no obligation to send a gift to a graduate or a wedding you do not attend.

IIRC, Miss Manners and Amy Vanderbilt agree with you.

(I think, though, that they both say that a congratulatory card is appropriate if no gift is sent.)

[Glitter650]

IDK... I sent out invitations to my wedding to my mom's cousins. I haven't seen most of them in a very long time, but I think it'd be awesome if my wedding were the event that brought the family together, so I invited everyone I could, and it wasn't to get gifts, and I very much hope they don't see it as a ploy for gifts !

It's like a catch 22, if you dont' invite the world people are hurt if they are left out, if you invite them and they are surprised, then you're searching for gifts ? IDK I'd try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are just trying to keep you in the loop and not being greedy gift hunters.

[momofpnm]

When our daughter graduated from H.S. we tried to only send invitations to people she, or we, knew very well. We ended up hearing from a couple of people who were hurt that they didn't receive invitations. I really don't know what's best. If everyone followed Miss Manners' advice and only felt obligated to send a congratulatory card, that would fix it. But then I believe the world would be a better place if everyone followed Miss Manners' advice, period.

[Munchkin03]

On one hand, I can see how parents--especially if it's a large family--want to let everyone know, and it's not necessarily a ploy for checks!

On the other, as someone who had to address invitations to people who I know didn't give two flying shits about my graduating from college, I see how it's a waste of time to send and receive an invitation for an event you have no interest in attending. I wasn't even interested in a gift--it would have been nice for one of my father's ookabillion brothers and sisters to even acknowledge that I was graduating from college. They won't be receiving wedding invites, BTW, even if it means I have to pay them myself.