Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?" - Page 5

sarahsmilehawk · #1 07-08-2008, 10:45 PM

I'm 20 and I've been getting this from my stepmom's father since I was 17--seriously!

When I went off to college, he said I'd come back pregnant, like that was a good thing!

This is a man with 6 kids and probably 4 or 5 of them started college and never finished. All of them have kids now (several have 3 or 4) and nearly all of them are STRUGGLING. I don't know what to say except I DONT WANT YER LIFE!

I'm pretty sure I won't be mentioning my boyfriend to anyone on their side of the family until I get engaged. RUDE.

dzchick88 · #2 07-08-2008, 11:30 PM

I think you have plenty of time to focus on marriage later in life after you are done with school, it people ask say you are working on school and that is your main focus.

christiangirl · #3 07-10-2008, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsmilehawk

I'm 20 and I've been getting this from my stepmom's father since I was 17--seriously!

Yesterday, I met a girl who's 17 and married. It took all my self-control not to say "WHY????"

BabyPiNK_FL · #4 07-10-2008, 02:52 AM

^^BABY?

christiangirl · #5 07-10-2008, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL

^^BABY?

She's got some serious stretch marks to be so tiny, so I'm thinkin'. Didn't wanna assume, though.

Surreptitious · #6 07-23-2008, 08:10 PM

I normally tell people that I am waiting on the one who GOD kept for me.

I am currently in a serious relationship.
Its working out pretty well.

LAblondeGPhi · #7 08-04-2008, 09:21 PM

(Look of genuine shock) "I'm only 24, I'm way too young for that!"

"The number one indicator of divorce is being under 25 when you get married."

"I'm picky. I only like dating good men."

"I'm looking for perfect, and perfect takes time."

"To be honest, I haven't really been looking. I've been focused on other things, but I'll let you know when I start husband-hunting."

"It is what it is"

I find it interesting how there's such a negative association with women who are man-crazed and looking to hook one. At the same time, there's something wrong with you if you haven't caught someone asap. You can't have it both ways people! Not everyone is going to magically, accidentally meet the love of their life while focusing hard on other pursuits.

I'm thankful that my family has never pressured me like this, and that I live in LA, where there is little pressure to find a fiance in college. My entire 4 years in the house, I can think of only 3 women who got engaged while still in school (although one other woman was already married when she pledged). And our chapter was usually around 90 women strong.

AlwaysSAI · #8 08-22-2008, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LAblondeGPhi

"It is what it is"

That is my mom's mantra. She lives her life by it. The whole idea of "shoot, why didn't I say this or do that?!" when really, you can't change it because it's over and the moment passed.

I bought her a plaque for mother's day that says it. She keeps it in her office.

agzg · #9 08-22-2008, 01:12 PM

"Why haven't you stopped asking me that question yet?"

Seriously. I tried answering honestly the first few times - as much as I love my family and the crazy aunts/uncles that always seem to ask that... I don't love them enough to keep all the sarcasm under wraps.

Although I did bite my lip pretty hard after saying "Single sex marriage isn't legal in New York State yet." - although it did stop the person in question from asking again (but made for interesting family Christmas letters).

AOII_LB93 · #10 08-28-2008, 03:08 PM

Holy crap, I know this is the "why aren't you married thread", but if I hear one more person tell me that my husband and I just need to "have kids and not worry about it, everything works itself out financially" I'm going to effing scream. Do they pay my mortgage? Are they going to pay for me to stay home for a while? No, then STFU!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ok, I think I got that out temporarily.

Munchkin03 · #11 08-28-2008, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Holy crap, I know this is the "why aren't you married thread", but if I hear one more person tell me that my husband and I just need to "have kids and not worry about it, everything works itself out financially" I'm going to effing scream. Do they pay my mortgage? Are they going to pay for me to stay home for a while? No, then STFU!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ok, I think I got that out temporarily.

It sounds like the pressure to reproduce is even crazier than the pressure to get married. Why do people want everyone around them to have kids?

I'm going to have lots and lots of snarky and vulgar things to say to people to dare tell me something like that.

Jimmy Choo · #12 08-28-2008, 03:45 PM

Now that me and the bf have decided to get married I'm constantly getting asked when are we going to have kids. I also keep getting asked about when I'm going to quit my job since married women shouldn't work. I might vomit soon......

KSUViolet06 · #13 08-28-2008, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It sounds like the pressure to reproduce is even crazier than the pressure to get married. Why do people want everyone around them to have kids?

I have this theory that it's because they've gotten to the point that they've settled into a life CONSUMED with parenting responsibilities that leaves no time for themselves (or each other). They're getting to that point where they've let themselves go and only care about their kids. Their marriages are no longer fulfilling and they're miserable.

So they want every other married couple they know to get to that point to because they can't stand seeing them childless, happy, and still concerned with things other than diapers, dishes, and dinner.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmy Choo

Now that me and the bf have decided to get married I'm constantly getting asked when are we going to have kids. I also keep getting asked about when I'm going to quit my job since married women shouldn't work.

Wow, where do YOU live? LOL.

Munchkin03 · #14 08-28-2008, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Wow, where do YOU live? LOL.

My nephew, who's 7, told me that I could start helping people when I "get married and stop working." He also said that single women work, but married women don't. Although he sounds like a chauvanistic piglet, that's just his reality.

Jimmy Choo · #15 08-28-2008, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Wow, where do YOU live? LOL.

I'm in North carolina but sadly i don't think that has anything to do with it. Some people just think married women stay home (like Munchkins post). I was just floored by being asked that. The harassment about having kids I expected but not that one!