Updates on the whole college admissions business

[SilverTurtle]

Well, newbie, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and offer what little advice I have

First, I think from what you said in your earlier posts that your parents (both of them) are very proud of you. My guess is that your dad feels frustrated that he might not be able to send you to your dream school, one that he knows you love and that has a great reputation. It doesn't make what he said right or excusable, but being away from the situation, I have a feeling that's what is really bothering him.

Second, here's my story:
Let me preface this by saying that even though I was only applying back in the fall of 1994, it seems like admissions have gotten a lot more competitive since then. Even at average schools (meaning not just Ivy League or those few schools that are internationally renowned for various majors). So my experience was a little different from the beginning I think.
I didn't have any school set as a dream school. I had looked at the same small private school my brother attended (roughly 700 students)-Grace College in Indiana- and kind of thought I would end up there.. I had a few friends going there and knew several people who had graduated from there and loved it. When I visited the campus and auditioned (I was applying as a music major) I loved the people I met, found the campus beautiful, etc.
That school is roughly 6 hours from my parents' house. The offered me about 60-70% of tuition in scholarship money.
So I also decided to apply closer to home at the Cleveland Institute of Music (CIM). I had been involved in some high school honors music programs that took place there, so was already a little familiar with it. When I was there for my audition, I hated it. With the exception of my interview with an administrator, who was friendly and seemed intelligent, but not condenscending. By the time I got to my actual audition, I already knew I wouldn't go there. So, my audition didn't go so well, but I didn't really care.
I kept getting mail from Capital, which I had heard of but knew nothing about. They sent me some information on applying for a full scholarship, so I decided to check it out. It was okay... I liked the campus (very pretty and college-campus-like) & that it was close to a city (Columbus). The people were okay.. some I liked a lot, some were just average. Then I went back for my audition and started liking it a little more... I could see myself going there.
I still wasn't dead set on either school. CIM sent my letter telling me I didn't get in- no surprise or tears there. Grace and Capital both offered me about the same amount of scholarship and grant money. To this day I can't tell you why, but I suddenly had a gut feeling to go with Capital. And I did. The head of the music department at Grace called me and asked me why I changed my mind. He asked if it was financial reasons, because they would work with me. I told him it was just a feeling, and he seemed to understand that.
Even with a lot of scholarship, Capital is a private school. My parents paid what they could. I was responsible for the rest; from savings, a job,and my pile of loans I'm now repaying.
Sometimes I do wonder "what if" (and often come up with the conclusion I would have been kicked out of Grace... it's a super strict Christian school ), but I have never regreted my decision. After all, I wouldn't have met my friends, been able to join my GLO, or had the wonderful professors I did at Capital. I would be an entirely different person. Interesting fact... with the exception of one person I asked the entire time I was at school, no one I knew had Capital as their first choice. Almost all of those students chose it based on their experience when they visited combined with the financial aid they offer.
Even though none of those students expected to end up at Capital, they did, and most of them were happy with it.
My 2 main points:

• Sometimes things don't work out how you planned them, but still work out for the better. Go with your gut. Did you feel the way at USC that you did at Davis.. that feeling in your gut? Or have you just been expecting to see yourself at USC for so long that that's the only place you can see yourself now?
• If you're really gung ho about USC, then consider how you can go there. I come from a family that wanted to help as much as possible, but couldn't afford everything. So I took the responsibility on myself to get a job (My best semester I had 2 part time jobs, a full time job and a full course load. Some of us work better under stress If you don't.. look into campus work study or jobs in more relaxed environments like bookstores.) and to take out loans. Which I will pay back probably the rest of my life, or the next 15 years at least, since I plan on attending grad school soon (and paying for that myself). If you want it, you have to be willing to sacrifice for it. It sounds like you were willing to do that to get in to college, so I think you're probably okay with that.

Whatever you decide, best of luck. You will be great at either school!

[catlady]

I know exactly where you're coming from. I was accepted to the Univ of Minnesota and the Univ of Illinois. The first offered enough financial aid to pay for the first year and the second didn't offer anything but acceptance. However, Illinois was my first choice because of their program. So far, I have gone with Illinois and am just crossing my fingers.

More than likely I will have to borrow the max of 18,500 allowed as well as some private loans since I am paying for this myself. But I really wanted the program so I went with it.

It all depends on what you want and how badly you want it.

[amycat412]

Car-
Not that this will be new info to you, but just in case--

The estimated total cost of attendance at USC for the 2002-2003 academic year is $36,640. Cost of attendance includes room and board, transportation, fees, books, etc.

Also, from the USC site: USC guarantees to meet 100% of your USC-determined financial need, provided that you meet all University, state, and federal requirements and deadlines.

Talk with them to lower your EFC. On the fin aid site there is all sorts of supplemental paperwork that can be filled out and faxed to them.


If USC is what you want, and I KNOW it is, there are ways to make it happen, and through your determination to make it happen, just maybe, your parents will come around a bit.

Please update us, I know we're all anxious on your behalf!

Hang in there!
FIGHT ON!
Amy

[AlphaChiGirl]

Car...I log on to reply to your posts, and I have an (admittedly old) PM from you! Thanks so much! I'm having a great time here--and not ready to go back!

About the college admissions/financial aid thing. I applied to four schools: UF, William and Mary, Emory, and Brown. I wanted to apply to Berkeley, but knew there was no way to get in, being out-of-state. UF--no financial aid, but Florida Academic Scholars--like TOPS in LA, full scholarships. W&M--no financial aid, but a small merit-based scholarship, if I had been a VA resident, it would have been a full ride. Emory--some financial aid. Brown--no financial aid, and no merit-based aid, but the option to take out private loans. UF would have been the OBVIOUS choice, prestigious and affordable, but not what I wanted. Brown had been my dream school, my TOP choice, and my parents knew what it would take for me to get there, and wanted to make sure I understood what it would take. I seriously don't regret my choice at all--I'm graduating in four years, and was able to do everything I wanted to do academically and socially. It can be done.

Although financial aid is a minor concern of mine--according to the Universities' financial aid offices, that is--Brown isn't cheap. I think it'sabout $37,500 for this year--and that's assuming you're not studying abroad, being in a sorority, or even being in a sport. Therefore, I do what I have to do, even if that means not spending my summers on the beach or in a high-powered, but unpaid, internship. Even if it means possibly having to take out loans and taking more responsibility in my education than some of my friends--in my opinion, the experiences I had FRESHMAN YEAR ALONE are worth any loan amount I might have to take out between now and the time I get out of grad school.

I forgot to mention--that first semester you aren't in class, you can work. I was a dorm counselor last year, and we had two girls come in mid-year. They were immediately taken in by the unit, and we checked on them pretty often to make sure they were getting adjusted. Also, Spring admits are usually given an orientation and they do go through the same things together--although it sounds bad, it didn't seem to be so bad for them.

So, it's up to you. I'd honestly say USC. It DOES matter what college you went to, even if it's just limited to where you're even CONSIDERED for graduate school and your first job. Not to mention internships. The return on your investment will really be much more than what it says on paper.

Best of luck!

[newbie]

Hey everyone!

So sorry I didn't reply sooner. I spent the last few days of last week in blissful SoCal . And I won't keep the suspense any longer...my mother has OKed me to go to USC !! I am so excited!! FIGHT ON TROJANS!!

But first let me back up. These past few days have been so difficult, and I am so glad that as of now, I've had a positive outcome emerge from it. I basically gave up after the first fin aid notice, in which my family was expected to pay 35 K a year. But my dad, who's known for his persistence, encouraged me to keep on trying. He got all of the documents together, talked to teh fin aid representative, while I nervously fidgeted, thinking, "Oh my god. Part of my future is determined right now, right here." Just a week ago, I thought that my chance of becoming a USC Trojan was basically over. I was prepared to go to the fin aid meeting with nothing coming out of it. But I was very, VERY pleasantly surprised, as were my parents.

Unfortunately, though, the fin aid package was/is still not enough. And that is where all the drama emerged. It was just so frustrating because everyone in my whole extended family (and mind you, I have a huge extended family) except for my dad and my uncle and cousin decided that I should go to Davis, because of financial reasons. And right now, actually< I still feel like an outcast because many of my family members are saying stuff like, "Yeah, her sister was so good...not only going to an inexpensive school but also a great school at that, too." But right now I'm feeling much more settled. This morning was basically where I let everything out, and just told my mom, while sobbing, why I NEEDED to go to USC and why I just didn't think that a UC could do it for me. When I went to the SC open house on Saturday (and when visiting on Friday, too), there was just something about SC that just reaffirmed my whole reason for loving it so much. EVeryone there is just so spirited about SC, and I just loved the personal, caring attention I got from not only the SC staff and faculty, but also the students themselves (and these weren't students hired by the university to represent them...they were random ppl I stopped on the street). It was simply amazing. I wanted so badly to just buy a USC sweatshirt and a bumper sticker and a binder, etc. etc. But I had to stop myself because nearly everybody -- especially my mom -- was vehemently against me going to SC.

Flash forward to today. I got back home to the Bay Area and was completely dreading going home, bc I had to face my mother and heavy decision making to do. I was so frustrated at her for the longest time because she was basically telling me the same things that my sister fed her -- that "USC isn't worth the money...UCLA's still better than USC...UC system is more worth the money..." I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs that I am not my sister and that she had to stop thinking that the UC system, which is great for my sister b/c she likes the anonymity of a huge school, is right for me. Then I just rushed to my room and sobbed because I thought that this was the end of my USC story. I would be isolating myself from my mom if I chose SC (due to finances), but would also be denying my own feelings for SC.

then a miracle happened. my mother told me that I could go to SC. I was so elated, but also so sad, because my mother told me, while crying, that she wanted me to go there only because she could tell how much I love the school, and bc since I love the school so much I will prolly do really well there. She and I both cried for a long time because we (my parents and I) will both have to sacrifice so much for me to attend SC. My dad really wants me to go to SC, while my mom doesn't. My mom said that she will have to take things day by day, just so I can attend SC.

I know that I'm causing myself and my family tons of heartache finance-wise by choosing SC. BUt I just had to follow my heart, which told me that there was something in SC that I just had to pursue. I still feel so guilty about my choice, though elated about finally becoming a Trojan. I feel like I have cheated my parents out of a comfortable life...and I know that had I chosen Davis, I would have such an easy life compared to what my life will be at SC.

But, in the end, I think it will all be worth it. To hold the SC diploma in my hand, to know that my Trojan experience is really something so special that only USC grads and students have experienced...I think it'll all be worth it. I'm just hoping that somehow, some way my parents (and me) will be blessed financially in the near future.

Well, I must go to write a term paper (sigh). Anyway, I'm so sorry if I sound both elated and sad at the same time...deep down in my heart, I know this is the right decision for myself, but I'm also wondering why I'm being so selfish to my parents -- especially my mother...i'm just hoping that when I graduate from SC in Spring of 2006, that she will realize that all we will have sacrificed will have been indeed worth it.

I'm hoping.

It's weird how much I've grown in just the past few days. I've finally realized just how MUCH my parents love me, and how much they're sacrificing for me just so I can attend a school that they don't really like. (My dad likes it, especially because he sees how happy I was while on campus, but my mom, as you know, hates it.)

Will write back soon! FIGHT ON Amycat and Steeltrap!!!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Newbie,
You must be happy that you have made your final decision. USC is a great school! You can always seek outside sources of financial aid such as grants and scholarships that don't need to be repaid. Good luck with everything. Enjoy your last few weeks of high school!

[navane]

You know...I just found this thread today. I don't know why I didn't read it before!

Newbie,

I am so glad that you're starting to see those little rays of light breaking through the clouds. I felt so bad as I read your posts - I could tell how much you were truly upset about the whole ordeal. College admissions shouldn't give people strokes!

Warning: Long post ahead! Grab some snacks or something.

I myself was a pretty good student in school. I took some honors courses and an AP class. My GPA was 3.6. I knew I had a decent chance at getting into a good college. I wanted to be a physical therapist in the worst way. There are only four universities in California that offer PT - San Fransisco State, Cal State Fresno, Cal State Northridge, and Cal State Long Beach. Being from San Diego, I liked Long Beach the best.

I also received loads of packets from Northwestern and Boston University. I really wanted to go to Northwestern; it has an *excellent* PT program. Unfortunately, my mother nearly fainted at the thought of paying a $45,000/yr tuition for out-of-state students. I could tell she really didn't want me to go there or to Boston. She kept trying to tell me how cold it would be. (Funny though, 90% of my family is from Chicago, IL and about 5% are from Gary, IN! I'm a CA girl!).

Of course, many of my classmates were like "Why don't you go to UC San Diego!?!?!" I was like, "Helllllooooo they don't offer physical therapy!!!"

Instead, I applied ONLY to CSU Long Beach and was accepted. Though my classmates dismissed Long Beach State as "ghetto" and a "commuter school", I was extremely happy with my choice. (BTW- I am such a HUGE Long Beach State advocate...GO BEACH!!!).

"Unfortunately", my family is middle-class and the financial aid folks said that we "made too much money." Then, at the same time I was rejected by the financial aid people, my father lost his job (was forced to retire). My parents promised me that they would do anything to make sure I went to college. My mom flippantly said she'd sell the house if she had to.

Two years in, the physical therapy department cancelled the bachelor's program and made it a master's only. I was crushed. I had wanted to be a physical therapist since I was 9 years old (my mother was a rehab nurse). I ended up switching to human development. Also, my mom fell ill and passed away a year later. Now, I had to depend on my pathetic part-time job and my dad's help. Worse yet, because of my forced major change, and my family's sad loss, I had to attend college for 3 "extra years."

My dad, bless his heart. My father, who was in his late 50's, and has very poor knees, couldn't pay for my expenses with his retirement money. He took a job stocking shelves at Target to help pay!! Then, he took a second job as a janitor at a Catholic church. Meanwhile, I worked as a security guard at rock concerts.

On my graduation day, when I came off the field to meet my family, my dad and I cried so much, that apparently the volunteers working at the flower booth nearby started getting tears in their eyes also!

I felt I needed to take a year off before going to get my master's degree; something which is practically mandatory in my field. By the way, I decided not to become a physical therapist after all. Instead I am going to pursue a Master's in Education with an emphasis on higher education. That is, I will essentially be a college counselor/administrator.

Anyway, because I was afraid that my grades weren't good enough, I didn't want to apply to grad school lest I embarass myself. So, I waited until my final results came in. Even though my last three semesters were 3.5 or higher, *and* I finished on the dean's list, my cumulative GPA was a 2.96. Argh! I was so disappointed that I missed the 3.0 mark! Instead of applying to grad school right away, I decided to wait a year and add more work experience to my already packed resume (my internships, *not* the security guard stuff!). In the end, I decided to give it a go.

Cal State Long Beach had a nice master's program which is exactly what I needed. It's cheap and solid. But, I kinda felt like I may not enjoy the program that much. Plus it was THREE years long!!! I mean, after spending seven on my undergrad, three years is NOT appealing. Then again, I'm settled here; my family is nearby. Then *again*, as much as I love Long Beach State, I thought I might get "stale" having stayed at the same place for so long. Plus, because it's the least expensive program in the area, it's very competitive.

University of Southern California is a favorite university of mine. I would *love* to go to SC as well. I have two friends (my current roommate and her brother) who went there. My roommate has granted me Honorary Trojan status. SC has an excellent master's program. However, as you know, it's expensive to go there! But, then again, SC has this magical quality about it. I once walked into a supermarket in Long Beach with an SC t-shirt on. Some random 45 year old man looked at me with this big smile, raised his hand and shook two fingers in the air. How cool is that! People from SC all but yell "Fight On!" as you drive past on the freeway and they see an SC sticker on your car. More importantly, it has an excellent academic reputation. I wanted to go there very much, but didnt think I could afford the huge costs.

Then there was my first choice. The University of Bristol....in Bristol, ENGLAND. I have been to Great Britain before and I just love the city of Bristol. A major plus is that the program is only one year long. I didn't know it at the time, but Bristol U. enjoys a VERY NICE academic reputation. It has been ranked behind Cambridge, Oxford, and U. of London. Very well-ranked. Not only was I afraid that I couldn't afford it, but that I wouldn't get accepted!! I thought they would scoff at my 2.9 GPA. So, I made sure to write a very nice letter to go with it. I also think that my professors wrote glowing recommendations about how I had overcome personal challenges to pursue my dream of getting my BA. In my heart, I knew that Bristol is where I wanted to be.

Bristol took one week to decide to offer me a place.

I haven't even sent my USC app in! Cal State Long Beach is still farting around with my application. I could have taken the easy way out and stuck with CSULB. After all, it would be $6,000 total for tuition! (3 years x $2000/year) This is dirt cheap compared to $12,000 for Bristol or $45,000 for SC. Instead, I returned my offer to Bristol indicating my acceptance of their offer.

Now, I'm not wealthy. Not even close. I can't afford the nearly $30,000 it's going to cost to live and study in Bristol. But, at the same time, I have to ask myself how much is the experience of moving to England and attending a prestegious university worth? In my mind, it's worth every penny. The life experiences I'll gain alone are worth a 10-year stafford loan plus the additional loans.

So what's my point? Never give up. When my high school friends gave me weird stares when I announced that I was going to CSU Long Beach...I didn't care. And you know what? I had the time of my life. When everything fell apart for me at college...I didn't give up. When I thought that I could *never* get an offer from my first choice grad school...I added some extra work experience and applied anyway. I'll find a way to pay for it 'cause that's where my heart wants to be.

I am so fortunate to have a father who totally supports my decisions. He understands that college is much more than earning a degree. It's about finding yourself and your place in the world. I was thinking the same thing that the others were, your parents may be panicking because they are afraid to see you so confused and torn. My dad once said something mean to me when I called up my first week at college crying 'cause I was homesick. I realized later that he freaked out because he didn't expect me to call up crying. After all, I'm the strong, self-assured daughter.

Newbie, go with your heart. At the end of the day, it's *your* personal development that matters. Yes, you're obligated to your family, especially when they're paying. Just do your best to work out the finances and work to convince your family why you feel you're making the best choice for yourself.

I'm glad to hear that it sounds like things are moving in the "right" direction for you. Keep your chin up! Stay positive!


Fight On!

......Kelly

[amycat412]

Car--

OMG!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!! I am so happy and excited for you!!!!!!

I had some of the same feelings when I was preparing to go to USC--my parents were not against me going, and in fact kept all their oh-shit=how-will-we-pay-for-this convos to themselves, but still I knew it and worried about it--

Well, let me tell you, my parents are both so stinking proud of my USC education that to this day, "Amy went to USC" is amongst the first things they tell people about me. Your parents will be proud of you, and thrilled to their cores at your happiness and the success your happiness will produce.

FIGHT ON TROJAN GIRL!!!!!


Amy

[AlphaChiGirl]

CONGRATULATIONS!

Don't worry--it will be worth EVERY PENNY!

[juniorgrrl]

Car,

CONGRATS! I hope you enjoy SC! I'm sure you're going to do great. And in the end, that's what makes it worth it.

I've been where you are, trying to figure out how a middle class family can afford a private college. It sucks to be told you make "too much" money to afford 30K+ in tuition each year. But my mom, like your parents, tried to find a way to make it happen to see me happy. While it didn't work out at my school, I still don't regret the semester I spent there living out my dream - even if it was to find out my dream wasn't what I thought it was.

Best of luck in the rest of your senior year!

[Optimist Prime]

Car!!!!!!!!
Congratulations!!!!! Times a million!!!!!

[greeklawgirl]

Car,

I've been lurking around this thread for a while, not really sure what to tell you as you were going through this "will I, won't I?" affair. The one thing I was sure about was that things would ultimately shake out for a sweet person like you!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! We are all so very proud of you and your determination to go out there and get what you wanted. It just couldn't have happened to a nicer girl.

Let me know when you want to schedule dinner. Looks like we'll be seeing each other in a few months!

[Sisterplum]

Car,
OMG darlin...that is great news! Congrats chicky!!! You're goin' to USC baby! Woo hoo!!!

Who knows, maybe someday I'll convice that husband of mine to make a trip to Cali and we'll finally get to meet....I would really like to see USC, since I've heard about how great it is from you!

Congrats again darlin...I know it's a rough choice to make, but I'm sure that both you and your parents will feel great about it in the future.......especially when they see the amazing grades you'll be raking in there! Good luck darlin!

[newbie]

Thank you everyone!!

I'm so happy!! FIGHT ON TROJANS !! hehe

I think I will have the time of my life at USC! I already have an SC buddy icon (thanks to Amy!), and while I was doing a search for more buddy icons, I came across UCLA students' webpages. Gag. Anyway, I'm sure I will love hating UCLA, hehe .

Kelly, I wanted to thank you especially for your post! I thank you for writing extremely difficult personal circumstances, just to show me that through perseverance, anybody can succeed. You are such a brave, hardworking, persisting person and I am so glad that you have found your success! And I am so proud of you for graduating...because though it was such a long, arduous road for you, you made the best out of everything and now are headed for Bristol U! Thank you again and Fight On! Good luck at Bristol U -- I know you will have a wonderful time in England!!

Amy -- I look forward to seeing you on campus soon!! Fight on!!

Maria -- I can't wait to meet you!

Vera -- you know that you finally have to come down to SoCal to visit me in the near future!! hehee

Thank you again everyone for being so supportive through this process! You guys have all been amazing and have really helped me to sort out my feelings in this whole process! GC ROCKS!

[DeltAlum]

Glad the turmoil is finally over, Newbie. Congratulations.

Delt is recolonizing at SC at the moment, so you'll have something to be wary of.

Just kidding.