Gays in fraternites (pt. 2)

[62231]

For the sake of discussion, I have to disagree with several of you.

To me, the worst part about being gay isn't the whole taking it up the butt thing (which I find pretty terrible in itself- exit only!). It's the fact that I find it so immoral and gays don't. What else do they find acceptable that I believe is completely appalling?
I would struggle to overcome their general viewpoints in order to be their friend.

[couggirl]

I graduated a while ago and don't really have too much knowledge about gays in fraternaties, but I just wanted to make a comment.

I volunteer with the teen program at my local Library. there is this one guy who comes from a very conservative christian family, I know them and in general like the parents and sibling of this guy but dislike their hatred for homosexuals. This guy who is 16 will treat the 2 guys that he knows are gay like crap. But there are 2 guys who are gay (the teens seem to tell me all their personal issues) that this guys treats like everyone else, ie normal, friendly, ect. I have repeatedly talked to him about his behavior because the teen program should be a place where people feel comfortable and I have explained that he is free to think whatever he likes, but to just ignore the 2 gay guys. I mean, not go out of his way to be mean or rude to them and that he in no way has to be friend with them but treating them like human beings. the big joke in my opinion is that the 2 guys that are gay that have not come out of the closet to him he is good friends with and is really nice too. I have tried to explain his behavior without giving away the 2 "closeted" guys identity. I am sorry, but I just don't understand this behavior from anyone.

If you think that being gay is immoral of wrong or something thats fine, but really it does not mean that you should treat some one like crap because of it, especially since you might not even know what is really going on in someones personal life.

[BigRedBeta]

One of my pledge brothers came out after graduation. It's changed absolutely nothing - except perhaps that's he probably more fun to be around now simply because he's happier in general. One of my little brother's roommates (from freshman year) came out to his pledge class during Initiation week, and if anything, they're pledge class became more closely-knit because of it while they hid it from the upper classmen. Now he's openly gay, and very few people have a problem with it.

It should be noted that neither of these guys acts stereotypically gay (even though it really wasn't a surprise when my pledge brother came out - he was one of those guys that could have gone either way and no one would have batted an eye). They're not effeminate, they don't have a lisp, and while they may dress slightly better than everyone else, they're still in line with the mainstream fashion as you'd find it in Nebraska.

Would my chapter rush a stereotypical gay guy? With one openly gay brother in the active chapter - probably more likely than it was before, but I have to agree that how a person "fits in" matters as someone said before, and I don't see many stereotypical gay guys fitting in well enough to get a bid. But if they did, I don't think it would be an issue.

Finally to say that homosexuals can't have the same interests and goals as heterosexuals is RIDICULOUSLY ignorant.

[jlenoconel]

I apologize for offending anyone. The reasons that I posted this is because of the amount of people who say things like "fraternities are no place for gays."
Its up to people how they generally feel about a certain subject I agree, and I believe people should keep their sexuality private. I am pretty certain their have been romantic exchanges or whatever between same-sex members of a fraternity, but they probably keep it secret. I would probably be one of these people. Not that I want to join a fraternity at all or for this reason i.e. because I think fraternity guys are hot. I respect people's decisions.

James

[catiebug]

Again - if you have no interest in joining a fraternity and no interest in fraternity life, then why are you here?

Originally Posted by jlenoconel

I apologize for offending anyone. The reasons that I posted this is because of the amount of people who say things like "fraternities are no place for gays."
Its up to people how they generally feel about a certain subject I agree, and I believe people should keep their sexuality private. I am pretty certain their have been romantic exchanges or whatever between same-sex members of a fraternity, but they probably keep it secret. I would probably be one of these people. Not that I want to join a fraternity at all or for this reason i.e. because I think fraternity guys are hot. I respect people's decisions.

James

[jon1856]

Originally Posted by BigRedBeta

One of my pledge brothers came out after graduation. It's changed absolutely nothing - except perhaps that's he probably more fun to be around now simply because he's happier in general. One of my little brother's roommates (from freshman year) came out to his pledge class during Initiation week, and if anything, they're pledge class became more closely-knit because of it while they hid it from the upper classmen. Now he's openly gay, and very few people have a problem with it.

It should be noted that neither of these guys acts stereotypically gay (even though it really wasn't a surprise when my pledge brother came out - he was one of those guys that could have gone either way and no one would have batted an eye). They're not effeminate, they don't have a lisp, and while they may dress slightly better than everyone else, they're still in line with the mainstream fashion as you'd find it in Nebraska.

Would my chapter rush a stereotypical gay guy? With one openly gay brother in the active chapter - probably more likely than it was before, but I have to agree that how a person "fits in" matters as someone said before, and I don't see many stereotypical gay guys fitting in well enough to get a bid. But if they did, I don't think it would be an issue.

Finally to say that homosexuals can't have the same interests and goals as heterosexuals is RIDICULOUSLY ignorant.

Not only did two of my Brothers come out after graduation (and both prior to and after-wards were part of the Chapter), a third had a sex change operation.

And IIRC the studies and reports correctly, something like between 3-10% of all people are gay. Something to think about next time you are in a room, bar, club et al with 99 other people.

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by BigRedBeta

One of my pledge brothers came out after graduation. It's changed absolutely nothing - except perhaps that's he probably more fun to be around now simply because he's happier in general. One of my little brother's roommates (from freshman year) came out to his pledge class during Initiation week, and if anything, they're pledge class became more closely-knit because of it while they hid it from the upper classmen. Now he's openly gay, and very few people have a problem with it.

It should be noted that neither of these guys acts stereotypically gay (even though it really wasn't a surprise when my pledge brother came out - he was one of those guys that could have gone either way and no one would have batted an eye). They're not effeminate, they don't have a lisp, and while they may dress slightly better than everyone else, they're still in line with the mainstream fashion as you'd find it in Nebraska.

Would my chapter rush a stereotypical gay guy? With one openly gay brother in the active chapter - probably more likely than it was before, but I have to agree that how a person "fits in" matters as someone said before, and I don't see many stereotypical gay guys fitting in well enough to get a bid. But if they did, I don't think it would be an issue.

Finally to say that homosexuals can't have the same interests and goals as heterosexuals is RIDICULOUSLY ignorant.

That's a good post. Pretty much sums up how I feel about my chapter. I don't know if we've ever had a gay brother, but i wouldn't be opposed to it. Unless he was ultra-closteted, like that one guy (non frat). He was all uptight and creepy untill he came out.

[KSUViolet06]

You know, you calling someone a "stuck up egotistical idiot" is just the same as people saying inflammatory things about your sexuality.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

You know, you calling someone a "stuck up egotistical idiot" is just the same as people saying inflammatory things about your sexuality.

Not really.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Not really.

Homophobia is much more harmful than thinking that Greeks are idiots.

[Zillini]

I view this situation in regards to membership selection very similar to religious differences. My GLO was founded on Christian principles way back when. But we do not discriminate against someone who is not a Christian. Actually we don't even bother to ask. Our selection is based solely on the character, interests, values and personality that a person has. If they are a good fit, then we want them as a member. It doesn't matter if they are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, atheist, etc. I believe the same should apply to sexual orientation.

[LaneSig]

Originally Posted by jlenoconel

I know this has been discussed before, but I wanted to hear how people felt about gays in fraternities in 2008? James

Okay, I don't agree with the guys who have made anti-gay remarks, but why did you ask this question? You "wanted to hear how people felt about gays in fraternities", but it sounds like you only want to hear from people who agree with you.

Some people have a problem with it, some don't. Hate to tell you, but you typing on a message board is not going to change the minds of some people. They don't agree with you. Grow up and move on. It's life.

[knight_shadow]

^^^ Well said.

This is kind of off topic since I'm a woman in a sorority but, the president of my sorority is a lesbian and is actually dating another one of my sisters. (they were going out before joining). Yes, it was awkward when I first heard about it but they are not that obvious. I just recently had to tell 2 of my sisters that pledged with me. Just because somebody is gay or lesbian does not meant that they are going to make moves after you.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AEcutiePhi

This is kind of off topic since I'm a woman in a sorority but, the president of my sorority is a lesbian and is actually dating another one of my sisters. (they were going out before joining).

This is interesting. I've always wondered about the types of issues that arise from having 2 sisters dating. Like what happens if two dating sisters break up? Or what about house-related issues? Like, I know in our orgs we have rules against males in sisters' bedrooms, but what happens in this case?