Giving letters

[SH80]

Originally posted by G8Ralphaxi:
Dear Oregon Alpha Xi -

I'm an Alpha Xi Delta from the University of Florida, and from what I can tell (remembering my pledge education and looking at the manuals/info I had when I was on the exec council), here's what I was told about our letters ...

Only initiated sisters can wear/have/possess certain symbols, including
* the Quill (pin)
* the crest (this includes on clothing, glassware, jewelry, anything)
* the lavaliere (in any form, the standard letter shapes or the letters engraved on something)

our rules on the lavaliere may be something that was just my chapter's custom, because I knew other sororities that let their pledges/new members wear lavalieres (DG does at UF I know for sure), but I am pretty sure that it's a national rule

Regarding letters on clothes:

Obviously date function/philanthropy t-shirts can be worn by anyone - half the fun is seeing guys wearing shirt from your events.

"Block letter" shirts (the shirts with the embroidery)had more complicated rules. Originally when I pledged, only initiated sisters could wear them. Then the rule changed so we gave them to new members on Big Sis Revealing night. But I'm still pretty sure that these are reserved for members only.

Maybe it's just not done at my school, but I have NEVER heard of a girl giving a guy her letters. Maybe it's a little old-fashioned, but it does reflect that guys give us promise rings, engagement rings, etc. so they give us their lavaliere, not the other way around. And a lot of married guys don't wear wedding bands, but women almost always do. Fraternity guys that have girlfriends in sororities here just end up with a lot of date function t shirts from her chapter and that's about it.

If you think about it, fraternities don't normally wear lavalieres, but sororities do. So it follows that when a relationship gets serious, the guy gives the girl his letters to wear on her necklace with or instead of her own.

So, a long story, but the short answer is that I am almost positive that (sorry!) your boyfriend CANNOT wear your lavaliere.

TFJ forever!!!

Xi love,

G8Ralphaxi


[This message has been edited by G8Ralphaxi (edited February 16, 2001).]

Hey I am interested in AXiD! What does that quill mean?

[gammazetagrl]

Okay I need to bring this back up again because Im faced with a dilemma, however let me share my point of view first =)

I guess it's different not only among chapters but in the atmosphere of the campus too, in general. I'm here in Northern Illinois U and a lot of women (actually I don't even think that all of them are Greeks) wear their boyfriend's letters( from rush shirts, philantrophy shirts,hats,even the embroidered-on-sweatshirt kind). Likewise, i have seen guys wear their girls' letters too, be it on a shirt or hat. I thought it was kind of sweet too though. Also, girls here also lavaliere their boyfriend just as they lavaliere them...although I have yet to actually SEE a guy wearing his girl's lavaliere (they probably just keep the necklace in their wallet, bulletin board, whatever).

Now, I have a couple Sammys stuff my ex boyfriend gave me (hat and some shirts)and for awhile i felt proud and touched when he gave them to me. However, now that we're over, someone in the forum advised me to give back his stuff (especially the hat and some shirts, but not party favors/shirts etc). I also have his lavaliere and I've been waiting for him to say something about giving it and the other stuff back but he hasn't (and we still talk almost everyday as friends). I didn't wanna appear rude and offer to bring them back myself coz I don't want him to take it the wrong way, coz he might think I'm throwing all away what he shared in the past, but I'm still concerned in doing what's right and proper. I would ask one of his brothers about it but they all live so far away and I never see them unless I go to their school for a formal or something...Is there a Sammy in this forum who would care to give me advice on your rules regarding stuff like this?

I will admit that he has some of my stuff, but nothing major. All he has are formal favors, a shirt (not the embroidered kind)and other souvenirs. However, I also gave him my lavaliere. Now I didn't ask for the lavaliere back because this is how I felt: A lot of stuff has happened between us (we're actually each other's first gf/bf)and since I understood that you only give a lavaliere (if your chapter/nat'ls rule allows it anyway)to someone who means as much to you as your GLO, then he's the one. Coz even if we're over now I don't think I have the heart to give something that has such value to me as my lavaliere to anyone else, even if I met another guy, no matter how terrific he is...and I thought it would be weird to give it to someone knowing another guy had it in his possession before. (by the way, my ex didn't wear it, he actually put it up his bulletin board in his room along with pictures of us--he called it his "shrine") My other question is, is it right to feel that way?

[AlphaXiGirl]

Originally posted by SH80:
Hey I am interested in AXiD! What does that quill mean?

The Quill is our badge and is significant of our open motto: "The Pen is Mightier than the Sword"

Take a look at this link to our national web page and you can see a picture as well as the motto:
www.alphaxidelta.org/insignia.asp

Gammazetagrl - If you guys are still such good friends why not just mention it. If you have questions, I'll bet that he does, too. It doesn't have to be some serious conversation. That's my 4 cents worth (it's only worth about a 1/2 cent but a girls got to make a living.)

[gammazetagrl]

Thanks AlphaXiGirl...Im seeing him sometime this week and I'll have a talk with him...I'll let u guys know.

[Honeybee]

This is a little bit off the topic, but I always wondered something about letters. Can a guy lavalier you even if he is not affiliated with his chapter for a reason like quitting school? I know that when you're a member, you're always a member...but I was wondering if the rules changed when you aren't an active member anymore.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Honeybee:
This is a little bit off the topic, but I always wondered something about letters. Can a guy lavalier you even if he is not affiliated with his chapter for a reason like quitting school? I know that when you're a member, you're always a member...but I was wondering if the rules changed when you aren't an active member anymore.

I wouldn't see why not, if he left in good standing he is considered an alumnus.

[s_leigh20]

Keep a few things in mind---Are the actions and personality of this guy one that you would want others to see your letters on?? Will he represent them well?? Will he care about them as much as you do??

[gammazetagrl]

Good point sleigh! well said. Im glad I don't have regrets about my ex. And to the rest of Greeks planning to give letters to their significant others, give it some good thought, although I know you guys have great judgment...that's why i love visiting this network, coz you guys always have interesting stuff to say.