How do you reposition your fraternity?

[ktbug10474]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Well, you can give your discriminatory attitude whatever name you like, it's still small-minded, defamatory and ugly.

here's my point WDC said that all Asians don't like other Asians. ok we all understand that. Nittany before that you said that it's small minded, defamatory, and ugly. So what I want to ask you is why are you jumping down WDC's throat because it's a comment about Asians,
when you have white people doing it to other white people all the time ??? ( i.e. the school playground, politics, etc... ) but you're not saying anything about that???? just wondering.

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

Well that's just what I know from my experience.
It's not like I'm mean to them to their face.
Where I grew up, all Asians dont like other asians, not just "fobs". it's pretty funny actually.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by ktbug10474

here's my point WDC said that all Asians don't like other Asians. ok we all understand that. Nittany before that you said that it's small minded, defamatory, and ugly. So what I want to ask you is why are you jumping down WDC's throat because it's a comment about Asians,
when you have white people doing it to other white people all the time ??? ( i.e. the school playground, politics, etc... ) but you're not saying anything about that???? just wondering.

Because nobody's said anything specifically derogatory about white people (yet). Would you like to start? Or would you be better off going back to sucking up to the southern chapters of the sororities that you plan to rush in the fall? I already have my letters so I have less to lose. You'd really have to watch yourself in that conversation...

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

fobs annoy me. a lot!
they make other asians look bad and prove that the stereotypes are true.

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

Where I grew up, all Asians dont like other asians, not just "fobs". it's pretty funny actually.

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

...i'm not mean to them behind their backs either ... i dont talk about asians and fobs and whatnot

Good move taking your first name out of your signature, btw.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

that was awhile ago
guess you didnt notice it back then

Um, I just saw it earlier in this thread because I was amazed someone would spout what you were spouting with your first name and your letters right underneath.

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

You may not have meant to offend but your original post just seemed like you look down on "fobs". To me, it came across like you thought they were annoying, perpetuating stereotypes, embarrassing, good for a laugh, and nothing more than that...like they have no deeper human worth. I'm sure you're a nice person and from your other posts on other threads, it doesn't seem like you're a callous or malicious person. But your first post did come across like you thought you were better than them and didn't think much of them.

Without "fobs" paving the way, you and I and millions of young Asian-American women would not have the privilege of going to college, the privilege of getting good jobs, the privilege of buying/owning property, or the privilege of having the same rights/protections/freedoms as our Caucasian counterparts.

There are soooooo many countries around the world where it's so dangerous to be a women or to be a racial/ethnic minority...where they don't have the rights and protections that we have here in the US.



ETA: My point in posting isn't to make you feel bad. I know you already apologized. I just wanted to share how your post came across because I think sometimes we post things and the tone other people read is different than the tone intended. Such as my re-reading what I wrote above. I see that it may be taken as being harsh, but I'm not intending to be harsh. Just sharing how your post can be taken from a different perspective than you had probably intended.

Originally Posted by SOPi_Jawbreaker

Without "fobs" paving the way, you and I and millions of young Asian-American women would not have the privilege of going to college, the privilege of getting good jobs, the privilege of buying/owning property, or the privilege of having the same rights/protections/freedoms as our Caucasian counterparts.

This hits home 110%.

I'm glad I have living examples in my mom, aunts, and uncles to remind me of this.

[banditone]

Originally Posted by SOPi_Jawbreaker

You may not have meant to offend but your original post just seemed like you look down on "fobs"..

She said she's sorry. What do you want her to do? Cut her e-finger, and give you some e-blood?

[greekone87]

SOPi_jawbreaker and violetpretty-

Your posts were both very helpful. Thank you.

SOPi...I know of the fraternity that you're talking about if indeed you're from PSU. We're actually very similar to them here, albeit not as active in shows and such. Perhaps that's where we can place our efforts.

Violetpretty...I joined a South Asian fraternity, because unfortunately at my school everyone creates cliques along racial lines and that goes for Greek life as well. If I wanted to, I would have been the only South Asian person at most of the NIC/IFC fraternities. You made a lot of really good points. We're definitely for diversity and being cultural and well-rounded is a part of what our fraternity stands for. Even though it seems like we're a bit too cultural at this point, I can definitely see us interchanging our strong points.

The brothers that felt we needed an image repair actually did at one point get a brotherhood trip to the mall in an effort to get the not so cool lookin guys to up their image a bit (of course we didn't tell them this). Although, this ultimately failed because the brothers that needed it the most ironically thought they didn't need to shop ("I have enough clothes"), but it was a good time just hanging with them.


And a lot of this has to do with experience. When Doves Cry said she's sorry and I'm sure she's a nice person. She's also probably had experiences other people (Mostly non-Asian) haven't had such as when "fobs" try too hard to fit in to their counterpart Asian clique that's Americanized and that may be where she got her perception of them being annoying. I understand we have to be PC all the time these days, but it just makes it harder to get to the issue. Of course not all of them are annoying and I know When Doves Cry knows that, but try to understand where she might have been coming from I guess.

And just because we don't think fobs are cool doesn't mean we don't appreciate what our parents have done for us.

[ree-Xi]

To change on the outside, you need to work on what's on the inside.

If that sounds cryptic, think about it. What is the real problem? Take a look at yourself and start there.

[greekone87]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

To change on the outside, you need to work on what's on the inside.

If that sounds cryptic, think about it. What is the real problem? Take a look at yourself and start there.

Yeah I don't think I'm happy here anymore. The fraternity no longer fits the purpose I've set for myself inside. A lot of red tape, conservatism, and just overall blah and I need to keep moving on and find a place I really fit. I feel so stagnant right now and everything is repetitive. Not even fitting in with these guys anymore as conflicts arise. Used to be one of only two guys that were the most dedicated and running the fraternity. Now losing a lot of my motivation. Guess this isn't the place to be. Wish I could start my own fraternity...oh well.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

..That's not what I meant. I just meant that it was possible.. I would never do that though. Maybe I should stop posting. So then nobody would change the meaning of my posts and make them worse than what I actually meant. I'm not TRYING to be mean. Omg.

But that's what you typed. If you didn't mean that, you shouldn't have co-signed on the OP's comment.

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

^Well, if you'd like to stop posting, I won't get in your way. How's that? OMG!!!!

LOL!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

.. i didn't say anything mean!! WTF. If you want me to stop posting, just put me on your ignore list or something.

The point is that instead of saying "you should try harder in the fraternity you pledged instead of abandoning it...life isn't perfect," you said "sounds great...it will be hard work but could work out!!!!!!" Like you're a cheerleader.

There seems to be a new fraternity or sorority everytime I turn around--usually locals but some are attempting national status. New organizations aren't bad--our orgs were considered new years ago--but there are some really lame and cowardly reasons for starting a new organization.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

I'm sorry I'm way too cheerleader-y
That's how I am after being on a spirit squad for 6 years.
ALSO, sorry for typing things I don't mean. I guess I should choose my words carefully so y'all can understand what I'm really trying to say. Hmm?

Uh...there are plenty of cheerleaders who aren't the "cheerleader type" with every discussion.

You can be positive and encouraging without sacrificing honesty and straightforwardness.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by When Doves Cry

I'm sorry I'm way too cheerleader-y
That's how I am after being on a spirit squad for 6 years.
ALSO, sorry for typing things I don't mean. I guess I should choose my words carefully so y'all can understand what I'm really trying to say. Hmm?

That would be helpful. This is the internet so we usually can't tell when you're joking or being sarcastic.

[UGAalum94]

To the OP, some of what you're feeling may be more common than you realize, no matter what kind of group you're in. I thinks it's easier to look up to people when you're the new one joining an established group with a reputation that you like.

It's a lot harder to maintain your enthusiasm for it when the people in the group are looking to you for the leadership.

The only way to reposition your group is to either work with the guys in it to seem more like the group you want (and they probably want to be cooler and more attractive to girls too) or to actively recruit the specific people on your campus who fit the group who are more like the original founders.

It's going to be hard work, but if you really want the brotherhood you have to keep going, I think that's what you're looking at.