Looking back, were you right?

[shadden]

When I went to college(a large southern campus) I knew little or nothing about sororities; kind of surprising since I grew up in a big city, and attended a large high school. I was an only child of older parents though who had not attended college, so I guess it was just never something I thought about. Right before I went to school, two of my mom's friends mentioned that their daughters had been in sororities at my campus and would do recs for me, but that really didn't mean anything to me, and I chose not to go through rush as a freshman. When my roomate and I checked in, we were in the dorm that had been used for rush, so I had a quick eye opening as at least half the girls on my hall had pledged houses. The girls next door were both in a certain house and I soon discovered that many girls from my high school had pledged there. I didn't really understand it at the time, but they rushed me informally all year - inviting me to pledge and spring formals, and I was convinced that I would pledge there as a sophomore. That spring Sigma Kappa recolonized at my campus and I rushed informally, never intending to pledge, but really loved it and ended up being a spring pledge. I have always had really good feelings about the other house though, and wonder if that is where I might have ended up had I waited until fall to pledge. I was fortunate to be on a campus where there were many houses that would have been great places to be - of course now I would never go anywhere else.

[srmom]

Long post, but on topic:

I can say (from talking to moms and now girls that have come home for the holidays) that most of the girls I know who rushed this fall are happy in their choices and feel that what was presented at Rush fits with their expectations and hopes - But one...

One very sweet and beautiful girl was rushed very hard by one of the "top" chapters at her school. After pledging, unfortunately, it has been down hill.

Downhill spiral started with a "clique" in the pledge class, it was made up of a group of girls who had known each other for years. They excluded all the other girls and kind of became the "power group" in the pledge class, which was a big bummer for the girls on the "outside". Add onto this the fact that, even though she really enjoyed rush and thought she had found the perfect house, she feels as if it was very much all "show". The actives just are not very involved with the pledges and she isn't feeling any "sisterhood".

Long story short, she's applying to transfer to another school that has her chapter, she has good friends from home that are actives in it and they, of course, rave about their experience, so she's hoping to affiliate. She is not the only new initiate who is unhappy and thinking of transferring, there are apparently a number of girls who might bail.

After talking to her and her mom, and hearing some of her concerns, I really feel like the leadership of the chapter is somewhat responsible (I hate to say blame, because they are probably doing the best they can). IMO, I believe that when the pledge class began to "splinter", something, whether it be more pledge/sister bonding events or what-have-you, should have been undertaken to try to bring the group together.

I also think that if girls, like the one I know, are so unhappy that they are transferring colleges, there is something wrong in the chapter and they might not be "top" for long if mass exoduses begin happening.

[ForeverRoses]

^^^ this is one of the things the pledge educator is supposed to watch out for-- it is their job to not only educate the new members but to also try and insure they feel like a part of the sorority. Has the daughter spoken with her new member educator about how she feels?

[srmom]

I believe so, but I'm not sure. I know she has spoken to her "big", who she really likes, about her feelings. Problem with that is, her "big" has a major boyfriend at another college, so is gone most weekends. It's really just been one thing after another...

Don't get me wrong, she has made friends with some of her pledge sisters, and the "outsiders" have kind of formed their own block, but she just isn't feeling the sisterhood as a chapter that was represented during rush.

I get the impression that they put on a big push during rush, but then afterwards, the attitude is, "you're on your own." I could share some pretty sad stories, but it would just be gossippy and wouldn't help.

[FSUZeta]

i don't think that my impressions of the sororities at fsu changed in the time i was there. however, several of the sororities images have changed since then and it is interesting to see what is what, or should i say who is who, now adays.

my daughter's impression of one sorority on her campus has changed dramatically. during her recruitment she felt that this particular sorority was kind of odd. with a year under her belt and having made some good friends in that sorority, she realizes that it was most likely the girls with whom she was paired being a little shy and not being good conversationalists, not so much the sorority as a whole. now she feels that she could have fit in well there too, although she feels that she ended up where she should have been.

[ZTA zetahunny]

I just opened 3 emails from women I went to school with who happened to be members of my sorority's biggest rival 30 years ago. I am still shaking my head that the women I have stayed in contact with aren't even from my GLO. I would have never thought it would have happened this way.

The first day I arrived on campus, the first 2 people I met, SGA President and the captain of the tennis team, asked me if I was going to rush...I said yes...They said I would probably be a good AOII or a Zeta, and not too surprisingly I preffed AOII and Zeta. I had no idea about any sororities and reputations on campus, but I remembered what they said just like it was yesterday. I don't know, maybe they were a good judge of character. I was lucky and had a great rush. Eventually I happened to release (cut) the beauty queen group before preference...great sorority... ie biggest rival. My first impression of them was that their southern accents weren't that refined (Naturally...They were from different parts of the state) and that they wore more makeup than I was used to wearing.

Fast forward 30 years... We've all become friends and inlaws! I will never regret my decision to go Zeta, but I do regret that I was so fast and harsh in judging other groups. Hopefully they will never know how much I wanted to beat them at everything. As it turns out, we are not that different.

PS I was a little sister with most of them. I know that excites people on this board, but it did promote inter-panhellenic friendships.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by ZTA zetahunny

I just opened 3 emails from women I went to school with who happened to be members of my sorority's biggest rival 30 years ago. I am still shaking my head that the women I have stayed in contact with aren't even from my GLO. I would have never thought it would have happened this way.

As it turns out, we are not that different.

Isn't it funny how that happens? In addtion to Tri Sigma alumna events, I also faithfully attend KSU Greek Alumni chapter functions because some of the best friendships I had (next to my own sisters) were girls from other sororities. Two of my best friends in undergrad were members of Delta Zeta & Alpha Xi Delta who preffed alot of the same girls during recruitment as my chapter.

[PhoenixAzul]

my answer is...kinda.

Going into rush, I thought I wanted to be a Theta Nu based on the girls that I had met in fall quarter. But once I went through open house, I instantly, instantly knew I wanted to be a Tau Delta, and that was confirmed at novelty party. I didn't know ANYTHING about sororities, rushing, etc and I got cut before preference round. Instead of just dropping, I signed a preference card in order of my preference, ranking all 6 sororities in order, of course I ranked Tau Delta number one. On bid night, I got my "did not match" call. Ok, cool, fair 'nuff. Bid day rolls around, and I had a call from the Greek Advisor saying that TD wanted to extend me a bid, and did I want it? Hell yeah I wanted it! I sort of took it as a sign, ya know, that old rush proverb, "you'll end up where you're meant to".

As many others have said, the other groups are full of wonderful women that I will maintain close friendships with as we become alumnae...but I have only one home, one true love, and that's the white and the blue, my beloved Tau Delta. *sniffle*

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

My first impressions were, I think, pretty much right on. I guess we're all just pretty "real" around here. On the other hand, there was so much that the first impression missed at every chapter. Of the first two chapters I dropped, one was considered to be "awkward" during recruitment and "odd" otherwise. It's true. On the other hand I've come to see the strongest sisterhood on campus in this chapter, as well as some of the most dedicated members. It turns out that people think "odd" is girls who get piercings, or wear what they WANT to, or are creative. And I'm one of those people that appreciates nothing more than women who will choose quality over quantity consistently...I have sometimes wished we had the resolve they do in that respect. The other is the princess chapter...I remember them walking into the caf with these tiny black tank tops that said "____ The sorority" like the W the President stickers in pink writing. They had their hair and make up done perfectly at all times and wore sundresses to class consistently. And yes, they are freaking ridiculously girlie and truly pay attention to physical appearance. But what I missed was their determination to be the best in more than looks...they're always the first in grades and our competitors in intramurals. They also have the highest retention rate, and I think that fact says a lot about their members and their dedication. The next one I dropped I thought of as the wannabes to the aforementioned princesses. They were in the dorms on move in day giggling incessantly and wearing pink jerseys. They had a good share of partiers and their skit was about picking the right pair of shoes. Granted, they've changed a lot in the last three years, but even then they have this pride in themselves that I never saw...and really admire. For the most part, I hear them complain the LEAST about their own chapter of anyone. And that pride makes them truly pleasant to be around. They're one of my favorites now. My other pref choice I thought of as the ideal...decent grades, well known on campus, the majority were absolutely amazing looking girls, but many had their OWN style, and they were the brunettes to the princess-y blondes...but they seemed too perfect. I still think of them this way. But I also feel like they were the correct second choice. Their members remind me of my own sisters, and something I REALLY admire is their commitment to being different. If another chapter on campus is wearing red all through recruitment, they sure as hell won't be. They do their own thing, always, and make it their own, and it's worked every year. They're also appropriately discreet and loyal.

Of my own I thought they were the fun girls...not in the drunk frat whore way, but the "everyone knows them" way. And I was right at the time. We had people in tons of organizations on campus, didn't discourage our girls from hanging out with certain other sororities or fraternities, and encouraged them to be friendly to EVERYONE. We also were extremely competitive...grades, intramurals, greek week...(I was so relieved when we eliminated the overall Greek Week winner...I still tell people they can't understand what it was to be an Alpha Gam during Greek Week). We were the all-arounds.

It's funny, the girl who preffed me at my second choice ended up helping me choose Alpha Gam. She told me I would just "feel" it...I wasn't feeling it there. I had and still have tremendous respect for them (and was pleased to see that if my PNM's didn't guess that I was an Alpha Gam, they guessed this other group) but it was just that, not sisterhood. I "felt" it in Alpha Gam. I've never regretted going the way I did, though I've seen how amazing every chapter on our campus is this past year...if you ever want to REALLY break the stereotypes you might hold, be a recruitment counselor. I went from being snobby to being able to truly appreciate something in every chapter on our campus...and I'm proud to be associated with them ALL as a Greek woman on our campus.

[littleowl33]

Definitely. I started recruitment thinking I only wanted one sorority - my RA was in it and I had heard a lot of good things from girls on my hall. During Recruitment I realized Kappa was definitely a better fit for me, and a year later I am SO thankful I didn't join the other sorority. I've learned a lot about them from my now-sisters and pledging there would have been a disaster for me. There are a lot of things you can't really know about GLOs until you're in one... another good reason to go into Recruitment with an open mind!

[AZPPL]

Bringing this thread back from a couple months...

I rushed as a sophomore in spring, so "informal rush" for our school. My sorority recruits a week before the others in spring, so when I was invited to rush, I didn't think anything of it. Because I was always a "non-sorority girl", I didn't pay attention to Greek Life at my school except for the occasional roll-eye at Greek letters (I hate to say it now, but I did!). When I went through their rush, I had absolutly NO idea what I was doing. Pretty much going in completly blind. My eldest brother had been a DTD at USC but I hadn't really heard any stories from him and only had one, not-so-great experience of his to go off of. The second day of recruitment I still didn't know what I was doing (I honestly thought that I was just going to different events with this sorority. I never really got the clue that I was "rushing" until initiation...sad, right?). I got a tip from my brother telling me to ask fraternity guys on campus about the different sororities because they "had the dirt" on the sororities (his words).

I talked to a few teammates who were in the same fraternity and asked them which sorority would be a good one to rush, without mentioning the chapter I was rushing. They automatically said this one, then a few more. Over that week I gathered information about the different sororities on campus and realized slowly that the group I was rushing had, according to Greeks and Non-Greeks alike, one of the best reputations on campus.

Looking back now, I wish I could have had the chance to rush each chapter to see what would have happened, but even looking that way I know I made the right choice. Not only do we have a fantastic reputation on campus, but we're one of the strongest chapters in the nation, not to mention our region. It's sometimes overwhelming that I joined a sorority because it is not what anyone would have expected, and overwhelming that I have this reputation to keep up.

But things that I heard about other sororities throughout the spring, some things have been correct and some have been wrong. I like to think that our campus Greeks work very well together, albiet some arguments. But I wasn't too influenced in that aspect. I do know that talking to fraternity brothers and asking about different chapters helped my decision, though...I guess that would be influence. All I know is I am most definitly a Pi Beta Phi and proud of it!!

So that was a novel. And I kind of went in circles. Ah well. I love writing about it!

[barbino]

I'm going to comment on the last two posts (the last two posters are also Pi Beta Phis).

First, I agree with Carnation that I could have been happy at several other chapters. I has a difficult time deciding between my first and second choice chapters, and could have been happy at either. I had lots of friends in "the other house." I might have even been happy with my third choice. I always remember the conversation several of my sisters and I had once on this topic. One of my sisters said, "Sometimes I wonder if I'd been a -- instead of a Pi Phi. I think that I'd be an entirely different person than I am now." Most people could fit into more than one chapter on any given campus. Some chapters are much more diverse than others, and can encompass very different personality types.

But I also agree with the last poster. I, too am most definitely a Pi Beta Phi. And just like you, I am very proud of it. Looking back, I would not have changed anything about my experiences. You can always play the "What If" game. However, the best GLO will always be your own. Before I went Greek, I could not undertand this, even when my best friend tried to tell me. It all goes back to the "on the outside, looking in" versus the "once on the inside, total understanding" theory. You have to be Greek and have your own Greek experience to understand just how special your own chapter really is.

[pinkyphimu]

initially, i was really anti-greek. one of the RAs on the hall had spoken to my bf at the time and told him that she wanted to talk to me about possibly joining her group. he basically told her not to even bother bc i was so against joining that i probably wouldn't even be nice to her. lol. the summer before i rushed, i met a group of women that i really liked. they were fun to be around and were not what i thought were "sorority" girls. it was almost the end of the summer before i found out that they were in a sorority. i knew i had to be in that group.

i would never have made another choice on my campus. hazing was a big deal and was practiced by three of the four sororities.

i went through recruitment and i was surprised by one of the top chapters. i thought they were the "mean" girls. they were actually really a good group of women. they hazed like none other, but they were much nicer than i had thought. as the years went on, they really appeared to have a strong sisterhood. they traveled in packs and were very involved on campus. i became good friends with one woman and she said she regretted being in this group because the "sisterhood" that everyone saw was just a facade to keep up their status on campus. another chapter was known to be the "snobby" group. this was proved to me over and over again. the third chapter was the "average" "mixed" group. i guess i could have found a home there, but they were trying to haze as much as the other groups. i have several friends from this group.

[ZetaGirl22]

I knew NOTHING about any "reputations" going into recruitment. We had deferred recruitment, but I was a commuter and pretty out of the loop as far as greek politics went. I basically judged the groups based on how my conversations went, and wether I felt comfortable there. I remember visiting the one of the biggest (membership wise) group on campus and wrote "too big" LOL in my rush book. Little did I know they were one of the "big 3" on campus at that time. But looking back, even though we were small when I was a collegian, and we had to work EXTRA hard with recruitment stuff and it was VERY stressful, coming VERY close to being closed, I couldnt be happier in hindsight with my decision to become a Zeta Tau Alpha. They were my first choice after all!

[DG4evah]

I pledged freshman year; had a great rush except was cut right before pref by XYZ sorority that my mom and my grandmother were in. I had decided before then I didn't like that sorority that much, but it really hurt my feelings. You're like why? Looking back, knowing what I know about recruitment- probably grades. had a 2.5 GPA. I ended up making 3.5-4.0 in college. Their loss.

So then it was down to DG, which was a chapter that had all types of girls, and another sorority, say ABC, which was made up of only blonde, beautiful girls. Also every girl from my school in my group went ABC. But they were really cool about it; by that, I mean they didn't act like I was a sure thing. ABC was really nice, but I just didn't feel like it was for me. I also wondered if they were really that nice or just fake. After I decided on DG, they(ABC) were so nice to me. I could have been happy there in retrospect. But I'm very much a want to make friends on my own, not be chosen for who my parents are.

I did go through an "I wonder" phase, but only because the DG that rushed me ended up being my big sister but wasn't around that much. ABC had this girl rushing me from my school that I liked so much. So I was sad about it because she just was a great person. At our school, sororities didn't mix too much with each other.

I was right about most of the chapters except for my own. Apparently we were a 2nd tier sorority just up from 3rd tier. I knew we were 2nd tier but didn't know the move up was pretty recent. In fact, short story- evil fraternity XYZ asked our sorority to a swap (mixer) for April Fool's Day and it was a lie. Because to them we were a bunch of fat chicks. About 6 years before I pledged.

During rush I was wowed by the rising sophomore & junior class of DG. These were sharp girls. The seniors were cool too, but kinda different. When our amazing pledge class got in, the guys took notice! They had been taking notice but finally all the fraternities wanted us to have mixers with them! Even evil fraternity XYZ! That was a really boring mixer.

Now the years have flown by: almost 20 years! The chapter is amazing and I know I've personally contributed to that. Been very impressed with the leadership at Executive Offices and seen one colonization as well! I hope my daughters go Delta Gamma.

It's funny, my niece went ABC at the same school and is really happy there. I'm glad for her.