HELP! Auburn PNM question!

[AUDeltaGam]

It's more difficult- but not impossible- for sophomores to get bids during formal recruitment. If your daughter does decide to rush again next year, I would recommend that she spend this year getting to know members from all the groups on campus.

[Bamamom13]

To AuburnPNMmom:
I too was a mom of a very disappointed daughter last year during her rush. She withdrew from rush on Pref Day because she felt that she did not belong in the one house that invited her. But she really enjoyed her school, and so got involved and got great grades, made lots of friends and decided to rush as a sophomore. She had a successful rush but it is definitely harder as a sophomore. She only had two houses on Skit Day and only one on Pref Day. But she had learned a lot about herself over the past year and realized that it was sisterhood that she wanted and so is thrilled with her choice. Your daughter will grow from her experience whether she excepts the bid or not. But only she can make that choice.

[augreekmom]

AuburnPNMom, I was on this board seeking advice for a similar problem after formal recruitment. My daughter was incredibly disappointed when she received her bid to a sorority she liked, but at the time didn't see herself fitting in with. She was cut by 2 but was feeling devastated because her 1st choice had gone on and on about how much they loved her each time she visited. Looking for information, I too stumbled onto this board, sorry I didn't mean to impose all, but I also had no clue or experience with sorority recruitment, especially at a big, SEC school. I explained my daughter's situation and received excellent, thoughtful advice which I shared with her because her first reaction was to quit. She, like most girls, only focused on the groups that cut her, not the one that seemed to love her. I know we "helicopter" Moms are a pain, but I truly appreciate what I learned and what I shared with my daughter. It really helped her to see how fortunate she was despite her disappointment, and focus on the positive things about her new sisters.

My daughter decided to remain with the sorority that offered a bid. She initially didn't think ANYONE in that LARGE sorority would be someone she could relate to. Funny you mentioned the blonde thing, when my daughter walked up to the house, there to greet her was a sea of tall blondes! My daughter is very brown eyed and brunette and not the tallest. I thought, wow, she doesn't look like these girls. But guess what, there were great girls there. and a LOT of brunettes inside the house, and she is making many friends and having a blast. It turned out to be a wonderful decision to give this sorority a chance. Auburn has great sororities and while there may be a few small differences, my daughter tells me they are all really good. She didn't get a top tier, or even her 1st. choice, but she did get a great group of wonderful new sisters. She now is very happy where she is and wouldn't change a thing. I hope your daughter will really consider the sorority looking at her, I'm sure it is full of wonderful young ladies, some who will probably become some of your daughter's best friends.

NOTE TO GREEKCHAT MEMBERS...I know we Moms are a pain but I really appreciate the help and advice I and my daughter received from all! Thanks!

[xoheatherxo]

just a quick question. did your daughter go into rush with an idea of which chapters she wanted to be in before she started? is it possible that these groups are in your home state schools and shes heard of them there and heard good things about them so decided that she wanted them at auburn? or maybe the ones that she got cob's for arent as popular in her home state and thats why she has second thoughts?? this could totally happen if she has friends in universities that have already rushed. i could be totally off here, but if thats at all the case then try to explain to her that all chapters are different at different schools. sorry if this is not the case but thats the first thing that came to my mind. i went to school out of state and heard lots of different things about different greek orgs that im very glad i didnt listen to--but its very hard not to!! good luck to your daughter!!

[skylark]

I know I am bad for thinking about it this way, but maybe pledging a sorority of a different hair color might show your daught that you can be friends with people that are different than you and maybe were NOT homecoming queens, super-popular in high school, or like, blond. Actually, having people with a different perspective to converse with might enrich her life even more than the blondes that she feels initially more comfortable with.

Or, if she does pledge "brunette" and feels left out, she can go out and buy a big case of hair color for her new sisters. I'm sure they'd be really appreciative of her generosity in making them the sisters she so obviously deserves.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by AuburnPNMmom

epchick.
Yes, I have had quite a few discussions with her. some not too nice but pretty hard trying to get her to have an open view and get over her preconceived notions. I am hoping that she will do as her heart tells her. She likes the girls she has met - she is worried because she has only met a few and not all - and her roommate is dissing this sorority and trying to convince her to wait. This is what I am trying to get her not to listen to

If Auburn is like some of the others (like Ole Miss), if she does join a sorority she might not meet everyone. In fact, there might be some girls she won't get along with. I joined my sorority, not because i loved everyone (although my sisters are fantastic), but there were a few that I "clicked" with and join because of them.

Her roommate is going to be a big thorn in her side, but a lot of us have had similar people in our "journey." The fact is, roomie might be leading your daughter into disaster by telling her to wait. Let your daughter realize that sorority membership extends beyond college. She might not always get along with her collegiate sisters, but there might be a group of alumnae that she just meshes well with.

But like i said, its ultimately your daughter's decision. You might not like what she decides, but she is going to have to live with it.

[AuburnPNMmom]

It just occured to me that you may have been serious, AlphaGamUGAalum....and on the first day, she wore a cute dress by Nanette Lepore....

[AuburnPNMmom]

You know, I agree with you. I have been trying to get my daughter to see just exactly that. I see it - I think it is obvious, but she is too hurt to see it right now. IT sounds easy - my husband keeps just telling her to pull her bootstraps up and get on with it. But, she has really been upset about it. The not knowing for me is reason enough to take this bid and become the best XYZ she can be and in turn, be an asset to the sorority. I would rather see her share herself than hide and wait.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by AuburnPNMmom

You know, I agree with you. I have been trying to get my daughter to see just exactly that. I see it - I think it is obvious, but she is too hurt to see it right now. IT sounds easy - my husband keeps just telling her to pull her bootstraps up and get on with it. But, she has really been upset about it. The not knowing for me is reason enough to take this bid and become the best XYZ she can be and in turn, be an asset to the sorority. I would rather see her share herself than hide and wait.

Of course she's hurt, and it might not go away for a while. Even if she joins XYZ, she'll probably look at the Top 4 she wanted and wonder "what if." There is always a reason she didn't join the Top 4, and its human-nature to dwell on why.

But you seem to have the right attitude, and hopefully she'll be able to realize that before its too late. Good Luck!

[AuburnPNMmom]

We are crossing our fingers here at home. I will post here tomorrow what happened. Thanks so much for all of your help!

[Bamamom13]

You may want to tell her that my daughter's pledge class has only 3 sophomores. That seems to be the norm.

[AuburnPNMmom]

Thanks, Bamamom13 - That is really the first number I have heard - is that at Bama or AU?

[Bamamom13]

Bama but they have an equally competitive rush.

[Bamamom13]

My daughter will tell you that most of the girls she knows that are sophomores and rushed this year got their second choice if they had more than one choice. And those that had more than one choice did not go through rush last year so they were not re-rushing. Your daughter, like mine may find it more difficult because they went through rush twice. She may really want to think about all this when making her choice.

[UGAalum94]

But Bama also has an upperclassmen quota. Is it only for juniors and above or did the sophomores get to count to the additional seven non-freshmen members that groups could pledge?

It really could have big impact on numbers if sophomores don't "count" in the main quota either.