"Why Did You Decide to Join ...That?"

[RozRochelle]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

And you keep responding.

Good bye, young lady. And leave Jesus out of this.

...

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by RozRochelle

...

Ahhhh, that's better.

[RozRochelle]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Ahhhh, that's better.

God bless you too.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by RozRochelle

God bless you too.

Okay take the last word, I am done.

[rhoyaltempest]

I can't believe what happened here when I went off-line yesterday. Somewhere, somehow things took a wrong turn. I know it couldn't have been your intention to come on here and NOT be accepted by your greek peers but it looks like you may just have put some people off. While it's true that the remarks of some may have been less than helpful and welcoming at times, you should have come to greekchat like a TRUE Neo, a new member (or in your case), a new org with a humble, I'm willing to observe and learn attitude. I think this is a big problem with the new orgs. You want to interact and converse with seasoned members of NPHC orgs but you haven't learned how to communicate with them; you don't know much (if anything) about their culture or where they've come from. We honor deference in the NPHC (well, more in the past than now) and some orgs (especially the fraternities) are really serious about it. This basically means that new members are humble and very respectful of seasoned members in their organizations and in the NPHC in general. And yes Neos have the same rights as seasoned members but they (for lack of a better phrase) "know their place" and they know that they still have a lot to learn from the prophytes. You can compare it to the respect that younger people SHOULD give to their elders because of their life experiences and their years here on earth. I think there is a whole lot that you could gain from gc'ers (like myself) who have been in their orgs for 10, 15, 20 years. It's best to take a step back and try to approach things differently and examine the ways in which YOU contributed to all of this. We can only be responsible for ourselves, not others. Definitely end the back and forth negative communication. Again, best of luck with your org.

[OneTimeSBX]

Rhoyal, this is the reason i left this thread alone about a week ago. i completely agree with your last comment. i do respect anyone in any GLO that has put in the time and energy to make it a better one for everyone involved. i also understand that those of us in newer orgs have a long way to go. i think that we also sometimes get the feeling that we didnt try a D9 org, or felt as though we wouldnt belong. that is not always the case. there is an org that i considered before i chose the one i am in now. i cant explain my feelings as to why, because then you would be able to figure out who it was, but i am putting as much work into SBX as i would have as an XYZ. i never felt they were superior, uppity, stuck up, etc. i just decided to choose a different path for myself. i think that is the underlying reason a lot of us go different routes. i am sure myself that some people have the attitude of "oh, they didnt accept me so i will do my own thing", and that is to be commended too, but NOT with an attitude, and NOT just because someone else rejected them. we newer orgs have to respect the older ones, because despite how different we say we are, there is the same basic premise underneath it all.

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

Rhoyal, this is the reason i left this thread alone about a week ago. i completely agree with your last comment. i do respect anyone in any GLO that has put in the time and energy to make it a better one for everyone involved. i also understand that those of us in newer orgs have a long way to go. i think that we also sometimes get the feeling that we didnt try a D9 org, or felt as though we wouldnt belong. that is not always the case. there is an org that i considered before i chose the one i am in now. i cant explain my feelings as to why, because then you would be able to figure out who it was, but i am putting as much work into SBX as i would have as an XYZ. i never felt they were superior, uppity, stuck up, etc. i just decided to choose a different path for myself. i think that is the underlying reason a lot of us go different routes. i am sure myself that some people have the attitude of "oh, they didnt accept me so i will do my own thing", and that is to be commended too, but NOT with an attitude, and NOT just because someone else rejected them. we newer orgs have to respect the older ones, because despite how different we say we are, there is the same basic premise underneath it all.

And this is fine...no explanation needed. I think NPHC members are just put off by those who claim to be sooooooo different from us or that seek to present their orgs as an alternative to us because we're so this or that. Like I said in an earlier post, when I talk about why I joined Sigma Gamma Rho, I just talk about Sigma Gamma Rho. I don't talk about why I didn't pursue the other NPHC sororities. When you start making negative comparisons, it only looks like you are putting another group down in order to lift yours up. If your org is as great as you say, there is no need to put anyone down regardless of what you've personally observed or experienced. As big as the NPHC orgs are, there are likely to be some members who don't present themselves in the way that the majority of us would like, but it's not fair to label an entire organization or group of orgs based on personal encounters. The rule is basic...treat others as you would want to be treated...so if you don't want to be labeled and stereotyped, don't do this to others.

[RozRochelle]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

I can't believe what happened here when I went off-line yesterday. Somewhere, somehow things took a wrong turn. I know it couldn't have been your intention to come on here and NOT be accepted by your greek peers but it looks like you may just have put some people off. While it's true that the remarks of some may have been less than helpful and welcoming at times, you should have come to greekchat like a TRUE Neo, a new member (or in your case), a new org with a humble, I'm willing to observe and learn attitude. I think this is a big problem with the new orgs. You want to interact and converse with seasoned members of NPHC orgs but you haven't learned how to communicate with them; you don't know much (if anything) about their culture or where they've come from. We honor deference in the NPHC (well, more in the past than now) and some orgs (especially the fraternities) are really serious about it. This basically means that new members are humble and very respectful of seasoned members in their organizations and in the NPHC in general. And yes Neos have the same rights as seasoned members but they (for lack of a better phrase) "know their place" and they know that they still have a lot to learn from the prophytes. You can compare it to the respect that younger people SHOULD give to their elders because of their life experiences and their years here on earth. I think there is a whole lot that you could gain from gc'ers (like myself) who have been in their orgs for 10, 15, 20 years. It's best to take a step back and try to approach things differently and examine the ways in which YOU contributed to all of this. We can only be responsible for ourselves, not others. Definitely end the back and forth negative communication. Again, best of luck with your org.

Thank you for boiling everything down and getting to the unadulterated truth. I believe in respect, and I do have the utmost respect for my elders. But, I think what is expected here is extreme and goes beyond what true respect is, and I'm just not willing. I'm going to continue to go it alone. There are other sources of information available in the GC archives and throughout the cybersphere.

Thank you for responding, and for your advice and well wishes.

[Live_Wire17]

Originally Posted by RozRochelle

However, there will always be those women who, for whatever reasons, don't feel they are a "fit" for AKA or the other D9 sororities. I know that might be hard for you all to consider, but people have all kinds of reasons only privy to themselves, about why they feel the way they feel or do what they do. It is inevitable that there will still be (non-dysfunctional) women who don't click with the D9, but who still want to be a part of a Greek letter sisterhood. They should have a place. There are only 4 of y'all, and you're not everywhere, and you can't be everything to everybody.
There's no guarantee that these women will want to join Theta Gamma Pi, but at least there will be another option available to them. I'm not trying to compete. Theta Gamma Pi will have who it is supposed to have.

Thanks for your input.

To the bold:
We are EVERYWHERE...MANY CALL BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN. D9 OR BUST!!

LOL!!!

[AKA_Monet]

Roz-

Most of us in the D9 have initiation rituals that when candidates "pledge themselves" into full fledge membership into with all rites in respective sorority. Since, I made vows to be of assistance to all my sorors in need. and then you "rail" against my Soror Little32, not only am I going to tell you to cease and desist because she is my Soror, but also, I am going to do it because I know her personally, like a relative in my family.

It is like family for us...

As decorum and deference, it is improper because it not protocol and it is uncouth. Diplomacy and good relations are not promoted and then it translates to miscommunication and misunderstanding and a lot of ill will.

[RozRochelle]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Roz-

Most of us in the D9 have initiation rituals that when candidates "pledge themselves" into full fledge membership into with all rites in respective sorority. Since, I made vows to be of assistance to all my sorors in need. and then you "rail" against my Soror Little32, not only am I going to tell you to cease and desist because she is my Soror, but also, I am going to do it because I know her personally, like a relative in my family.

It is like family for us...

To me, right is right and wrong is wrong. Period. Damn an allegiance. The more you all respond, trying to make everything that's happened here solely my fault (I jacked some stuff up, I admit that, but everything is not solely my fault and I truly feel that's what y'all want me to cop to, and that is not going to happen), the more I know that this whole debate is a moot point because in you all's eyes I'm "other", and as such I will never be in the right when it comes to any conflict involving another one of "you". So I took a Fukitol pill and I'm chilling. Y'all just do what y'all do, and I'll just do what I'm going to do. We ain't gotta be friends, friendly, or anything else, but I'm not going anywhere. I have as much right to be here as any of you.

As decorum and deference, it is improper because it not protocol and it is uncouth. Diplomacy and good relations are not promoted and then it translates to miscommunication and misunderstanding and a lot of ill will.

I hear what you're saying here, and I agree. But, hear me: Protocol is learned. You learned NPHC protocol because you're in a NPHC organization. I'm not. Until I started my sorority, I wasn't even a greek and had zero knowledge about the inner workings of greekdom. It is unrealistic to think that a total newbie is going to know the many UNWRITTEN rules of NPHC protocol. Hell, the so-called written ones on here are wide open to interpretation, with the advantage going to the prophyte (I think that's the right term) over the neophyte in ALL things.

I started out on GC trying to be friendly and I never INITIATED a conversation with someone by being disrespectful or condescending. However, others - including you - initiated communication with me in that manner, for no other reason than I was new and maybe made a faux pas out of naivete. There was no benefit of the doubt or anything given me.

You all had a preconceived idea about me - based on past experience with new orgs and their members who came on here to start trouble - because I was new and repping a new org. So, despite you all's so-called dislike of stereotyping, you stereotyped me, and lumped me in with the "enemy", and treated me accordingly. THAT was when my attitude changed, and if the truth be told, my attitude has only been negative with those who have approached me negatively, FIRST.

Just because I'm new to this does not give any of you the right to insult me and be condescending to me. And if you think I'm going to sit back and grin and drool like a simpleton, and ask for more please, while y'all shove disrespect down my throat, you have another thing and another think coming.

Y'all just do your thing and let me do mine. Neither the twain need to meet.

PEACE

[pinkies up]

Do you have a website for your organization?

[Little32]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Since, I made vows to be of assistance to all my sorors in need. and then you "rail" against my Soror Little32, not only am I going to tell you to cease and desist because she is my Soror, but also, I am going to do it because I know her personally, like a relative in my family.

It is like family for us...

Thank you Soror, !

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

I can't believe what happened here when I went off-line yesterday. Somewhere, somehow things took a wrong turn. I know it couldn't have been your intention to come on here and NOT be accepted by your greek peers but it looks like you may just have put some people off. While it's true that the remarks of some may have been less than helpful and welcoming at times, you should have come to greekchat like a TRUE Neo, a new member (or in your case), a new org with a humble, I'm willing to observe and learn attitude. I think this is a big problem with the new orgs. You want to interact and converse with seasoned members of NPHC orgs but you haven't learned how to communicate with them; you don't know much (if anything) about their culture or where they've come from. We honor deference in the NPHC (well, more in the past than now) and some orgs (especially the fraternities) are really serious about it. This basically means that new members are humble and very respectful of seasoned members in their organizations and in the NPHC in general. And yes Neos have the same rights as seasoned members but they (for lack of a better phrase) "know their place" and they know that they still have a lot to learn from the prophytes. You can compare it to the respect that younger people SHOULD give to their elders because of their life experiences and their years here on earth. I think there is a whole lot that you could gain from gc'ers (like myself) who have been in their orgs for 10, 15, 20 years. It's best to take a step back and try to approach things differently and examine the ways in which YOU contributed to all of this. We can only be responsible for ourselves, not others. Definitely end the back and forth negative communication. Again, best of luck with your org.

sidebar/
I don't believe that deference is owed to anyone outside of your own org..you can respect elders or people significantly older than you just as a common "I was raised well" courtesy but IMO thats it...there are people who have been in their respective orgs 10 years more then me but that are my age, they don't ALL have wisdom or the good sense that I would defer to, thats just real talk....

[mccoyred]

Originally Posted by RozRochelle

There are other sources of information available in the GC archives and throughout the cybersphere.

I am so sorry that it took you THIS long to realize that