Do you know anyone with HIV or Aids?

damasa · #1 01-17-2002, 01:08 PM

I was thinking about this the other night because I met a young girl a few weeks ago that tested positive for H.I.V.

Basically, she told me that since she had tested positive, many of the people in her life had disowned her. Most of her friends don't associate with her anymore, the majority of her family members don't want anything to do with her. She told me that she has her mother and one other friend. Her dad won't talk to her and her ex-bestfriend is scared to be around her.

That's really disturbing to me. And listening to this girl talk to me about living with this disease really made me think. I'm sitting here talking to this girl I've just met, shes only 19 years old, living with a deadly virus. She doesn't know how much longer she will live, and almost everyone around her is scared of her. I had tears in my eyes talking to her. Yet, she was so open, so happy about life. She was telling me how happy she was to be able to be alive and talk to me at that point.

It really made me think how much I take for granted in life. I couldn't even imagine living with a disease like aids. I mean, just knowing that the disease is going to eventually going to kill you, it's a lot to think about.

So, basically, do any of you know anyone living with HIV or aids? how do they view the life they are living now, and better yet, how do you view that person?

d

James · #2 01-17-2002, 01:21 PM

Yes I know someone. The meds have become a lot better, if she takes them faithfully she may live indefinitely. The virus won't go away but won't end up killing her.

As for the rest. Unfortunately as noble people can be the flip side is even more common. Sigh.

DukeBlue · #3 01-17-2002, 01:49 PM

I don't know anyone personally, that I'm aware of. Last semester I took a class on HIV and Emerging Diseases, and a woman came to speak to us about HIV and AIDS, and prevention. She started to tell us a story about her friend, a woman who contracted HIV from her husband when they were trying to get pregnant. Before she married her husband, he'd been in and out of hospitals because of a mysterious illness no one could diagnose. It was the early 1980s, so no one really knew about HIV/AIDS, and there was no test for it. Eventually he started to feel better so they never thought anything about it. Five or six years later, the woman got pregnant, after years of trying. They were ecstatic. Soon after she found out she was pregnant, she went to donate blood. A few weeks later she got a letter in the mail telling her that her blood had tested positive for HIV. She had contracted it from her husband, who had contracted it in the 1970s during the one instance in which he experimented with IV drugs. Her daughter also became infected. Then she told us that the story wasn't about a friend...it was about her. Her husband died before their daughter was born, and her daughter died at the age of 7. Her friends disowned her and her neighbors tried to run her out of town when they found out she was HIV+. She's still doing well today, and no one really knows why - they suspect she's just one of those people whose immune system is good at fending off HIV's advances. She takes the drugs, but has to switch every year or two because their effectiveness wears off and the virus becomes resistant. It's really a matter of hoping that they can keep producing new drugs fast enough so that she won't run out of ones to take.
I still think about her. I started crying when she was talking, and afterwards I went to give her a hug and tell her how amazing she was, but the words just wouldn't come out right. I don't think I thought about anything else for the rest of the day. She's a beautiful, strong, healthy-looking woman, and you would never guess. But she's dying.

IowaHawkeye · #4 01-17-2002, 02:03 PM

I don't know anyone with AIDS or HIV, but i would like to think that i'm a good enough friend to stick by them through anything - including this.

This isn't the same thing, but its pretty close. One of my guy friends is gay. He only recently (about a year ago) came out to his friends and family and they did not take it well. His parents have basically disowned him. The refuse to contribute money to pay for college, he's not welcomed in their house anymore. A lot of our mutual friends too have kinda turned their backs on him - not completely, but enough so that he doesn't feel comfortable doing stuff with them.

it makes me so angry to think that your parents and your friends will turn your back on you becuase you have some disease or youre gay. like youre suddenly a different person - i just don't understand .

valkyrie · #5 01-17-2002, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by IowaHawkeye

it makes me so angry to think that your parents and your friends will turn your back on you becuase you have some disease or youre gay. like youre suddenly a different person - i just don't understand .

Well said! I don't understand that at all, either, and it makes me angry.

I know one guy (not very well) who is HIV+, and as far as I know, all of his friends have stood by him. I wouldn't be shocked to learn that there are more HIV+ people that I know or you know who just haven't told anyone.

SSS1365 · #6 01-17-2002, 02:33 PM

My uncle is HIV positive and is very healthy due to his medication. He's also homosexual, but even though his family is very Catholic, they have always stood by him and accepted him.

AOPiLaLa · #7 01-17-2002, 02:51 PM

A girl I went to HS with died of HIV when we were freshman in college. She was not a close friend(she really only went to my school for a year) but she has sat next to me in relegion and with only 100 people in my class, I did know her. It was scary because she had been kind of wild and slept with a lot of people, so a bunch of people in my class had to be tested(they were all negative). It did show me how far reaching AIDS can be, even with just one person. Leah and I were not close, but she had dated a guy one of my best friends had dated(and slept with), so my friend had to be tested. Makes you realize how scary sex can be. None of us really knew she had AIDS till she was really sick, and since I wasn't close to her, I am not sure how people reacted. Personally, I was very sad. She was a super cute girl. really up beat and peppy and it seemed such a sad way to die. Also, my mom had a C-section, which required a blood transfusion, when she had my brother in 1980 and this was before they tested blood for HIV. She had to get a complete blood work up done about 4 years ago and it all came out clean as well. But thats not something you think about either.
On a side note with this(and maybe this is to personal, so sorry if it is)--has anyone had to be tested for STD's or done it on their own? I had it done this time when I went for my regular check up and while the wait for a week was hell, it was so worth it when it was clean. I didn't think I had any worries, but you really do start to think about all the times you thought you were safe. I guess we all need to be careful out there!

carnation · #8 01-17-2002, 05:55 PM

Yes, we knew someone with AIDS. He lived 10 years with it and except for the last 3 weeks of his life, didn't show any outward symptoms, believe it or not.

AlphaChiS2K · #9 01-17-2002, 06:22 PM

My manager at work contracted AIDS through a sexual partner in San Francisco in the 1970's. He spends $10,000 a year on medication, which puts his health through the wringer- he's frequently run down and tired, feverish, and almost always nauseous. But he's very open and positive; he doesn't dwell on the negatives in his life, but has chosen to embrace his friendships and makes each day worth living. He's coming to a chapter meeting and giving a talk to my sisters about living with AIDS and how important it is to practice safe sex and get tested frequently.

He has become one of the people I admire most.

AlphaGam1019 · #10 01-17-2002, 06:37 PM

I'm pretty sure my manager at J.Crew had AIDS. It wasn't something anyone talked about- we just assumed-- he had leisons (sp?) on his face that he'd cover on his face with band aids. Towards "the end" he spent alot of sick time and went to the hospital. He was a really nice guy

I bumped into a fellow employee a month ago and found out he passed away.

bruinaphi · #11 01-17-2002, 07:19 PM

One of my good friends from law school is HIV+. It was not something that anyone talked about, but most of the people who were friends with him figured it out. He had to take a substantial amount of time off of school throughout the years, but my law school's deans were super supportive of him and so was the student body.

He practices law at one of the best civil rights firms in LA and is doing well. He is an inspiration to many of us b/c he lives each day to its fullest, is super active and healthy and very positive.

My parents had a friend who was one of the first people to be diagnosed with HIV in the mid-eighties. He watched his partner die of AIDS and lived an extra five years. He didn't have the benefits of the medications they have today but he lived for quite a while HIV+ before developing AIDS.

Like DUKE BLUE, I also took the Biology of AIDS in college. It was one of the most informative classes I've ever taken and really taught me a lot about myself and other people. We had to do community service that was HIV/AIDS related as a component of the class. One of the community service activities I did involved going to a hospice and reading to the patients. It was one of the most moving things I have done in my life. So many people with HIV and AIDS are shunned by their families and friends when they need them the most. It's really devestating.

lifesaver · #12 01-17-2002, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AOPiLaLa
-has anyone had to be tested for STD's or done it on their own?

I have only met one person living withHIV, it was at a party several years ago.

Everyone I know, Including brothers, are very healthy when it comes to STD tests. Pretty much the whole chapter and all of my friends get tested about every 4-6 months. Its just something we do. The school has free anonymous testing, and it seems everyone takes great advantage of it. I know condoms arent 100%, but I always wrap my rascal. I am terrefied of HIV. I have only had unprotected sex once. It was a damn fool thing to do. Thank god I didnt contract HIV. Does anyone else feel that they just got their virginity back after the tests come back negative?

volgirl2376 · #13 01-18-2002, 04:53 PM

I dont know anyone with HIV/Aids - but I am pretty confident that it would not change anything if a friend or co-worker did...although I thnk I would be more concerned for them. I am somewhat of a motherly type of friend...I like to take care of people and make sure they are okay.