dilemma

tld221 · #1 07-05-2006, 11:22 PM

ok i have a little dilemma. i think i posted this before, but maybe it was another message board? dont remember but here goes.

one of my close friends (an AKA) threw our hand sign at me. it was a long time ago, and it was awkward, because i knew she knew it was wrong. why it would cross her mind to do it, who knows. she said, "oh, my fault, i meant to throw up peace sign."

shook it off kept it movin.

but then like 2 weeks ago she did it again! and we were ina big crowd and i just kinda shook my head negative at her, like, stop. and she was oh...

and THEN! a few days ago she saw me in the street and eee-yipped me! so of course i look and i see her. so i tried to call her on it as politely as i could. i said, "why do you do my call? is that how yall get down in florida?" and she's like, "oh i was trying to get your attention." i said, "but you never hear me skee-wee at you or throw up a pinky, right?" and she was like "yeah i guess... i just didnt see anything wrong with it."

WTH?

FeeFee · #2 07-06-2006, 10:43 AM

I'm not sure if this question is addressed to anyone in particular or just your sorors, but

@ the whole situation.

dzdst796 · #3 07-06-2006, 11:42 AM

Seems to me like she want to be an SGR instead of an AKA. What she did was just WRONG AND DISRESPECTFUL!!! If she does it again you should let her have it.

tld221 · #4 07-07-2006, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dzdst796

Seems to me like she want to be an SGR instead of an AKA. What she did was just WRONG AND DISRESPECTFUL!!! If she does it again you should let her have it.

well i aint one to question someone's interest. she seems really into her AKA, and nothing else. however, she says she knew she wanted to be an AKA was when she saw some members stepping in 3" stilettos.

well if that's what inspires you, go for it. i'm wondering has anything close to this happen to anyone? i know its obvious to not do other people's stuff, but 2 of my sorors said theyve randomly ran into other greeks (male and female) that will do our call to get their attention, or combine theirs with ours (i guess the way Kappas will go EEE-YOOO, which i dont really get

)

i just want to know if youre trying to get another greek's attention, what other way aside from totally disrespecting them and doing their call? is it a regional difference, is there a standard?

dzdst796 · #5 07-07-2006, 07:46 AM

Well I am in Jersey and I have not encountered that. When I want to get another Greeks attention I just go over to them, if I can't get to them I will do my own call to get their attention. I don't get it. I have a good friend that is a member of SGR and I never thought to do her call to get her attention. Just my opinion.

divainred · #6 07-07-2006, 03:16 PM

I'm in DC and originally from the midwest and I've also never experienced that. I think it is simply a matter of respect. The first time, ok, she made a mistake, but it sounds as if you have told her that you don't like when she does that and she has continued to. As your close friend, even if she originally thought it was ok (which I don't think it is), once you told her to please stop...she should have.

It's not you, she's being disrespectful

, if she wanted to be able to throw up your sign and do your call, then she should have put in the hard work to get those rights. There is definitely a standard: put in the work to get the benefits, otherwise stop perpetrating.

mulattogyrl · #7 07-07-2006, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dzdst796

Well I am in Jersey and I have not encountered that. When I want to get another Greeks attention I just go over to them, if I can't get to them I will do my own call to get their attention. I don't get it. I have a good friend that is a member of SGR and I never thought to do her call to get her attention. Just my opinion.

I can't say I've encountered this either. It's a matter of respect. I can't imagine doing one of my sistergreek's calls to get their attention. It's not only disrespecting them, but my org as well. I'll just call their name or do my call like Steph said. While I have heard of people combining calls if you already told her you don't like it, she should stop doing it if she cares about your feelings.

BlueReign · #8 07-07-2006, 08:34 PM

This happened to me only once and very recently. A Kappa in my building threw up our hand sign. I was like "huh?" He said that back in the day we used to do that because you all are our sisters. (He's 50+ or so.) I told him that I have never seen that done before.

Soror, now as for your friend -- you've told her but if she does it again I would punch her in the face! (just kidding). Seriously, just like anything else, if you tell someone that something offends you and they continue to do it then that is not a friend.

I would say that maybe she doesn't know any better and no one told her but now that you have.... keep us updated if she persists.

SeriousSigma22 · #9 07-08-2006, 09:37 PM

Sorhor,

That's really a very interesting dilemma and since you value the friendship just reestablish the ground rules. You might have to back away from the friendship if the behavior continues.

Serioussigma22

MightyQuinn · #10 07-09-2006, 09:01 AM

The only time I have ever had someone do our call is when it's a man. For some reason dudes get a kick out of it- go figure. I've been a Delta long enough that the things that used to get under my skin just role off my back now. You mentioned she is an AKA I'm sure she is well aware of greek etiquette so if she continues to do it then I think it's safe to say that there is more to it then her trying to get your attention. Obviously you are very bothered by your friend doing your call so short of sitting her down and explaining why you want her to stop what else are you willing to do? (Please don't say go to blows).

dzdst796 · #11 07-10-2006, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MightyQuinn

The only time I have ever had someone do our call is when it's a man. For some reason dudes get a kick out of it- go figure. I've been a Delta long enough that the things that used to get under my skin just role off my back now. You mentioned she is an AKA I'm sure she is well aware of greek etiquette so if she continues to do it then I think it's safe to say that there is more to it then her trying to get your attention. Obviously you are very bothered by your friend doing your call so short of sitting her down and explaining why you want her to stop what else are you willing to do? (Please don't say go to blows).

That is so the correct and mature way to go, but I still would want to knock her out if she continued to do it.

MightyQuinn · #12 07-10-2006, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dzdst796

That is so the correct and mature way to go, but I still would want to knock her out if she continued to do it.

Believe me when I say I would want to bop the hoe in the back of the neck too but I'm sure calmer heads would prevail...I hope

ZetaStorm · #13 07-12-2006, 02:38 AM

OK that situation is a little crazy. I crossed in spring 92 and then it was common for us to greet another greek by using our call which was then followed by their call and all of the Greeks did this. But even then it was spoken not really called. It was short and quick. It was considered a matter of respect. We didn't use it to get anyone's attention but it was more like saying hello. We could be passing on the yard or whatever. Now in your situation I'm not sure what in the world is going on there. I've never experienced another greek using my actual call to get my attention let alone my handsign (????). Are you sure she's really greek? I just find it hard to believe that her Sorors haven't called her out on that if they've seen her do it. You did say she is a 'friend?' I don't know what to say of that because either way you've asked her to stop and she's still doing it maybe there is a deeper rooted problem there. I wouldn't beat her down for it (at least not in my letters, just kidding) that's not Finer Womanhood - LOL Take MightyQuinn's advice that would be the right thing to do.

TRSimon · #14 07-14-2006, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

ok i have a little dilemma. i think i posted this before, but maybe it was another message board? dont remember but here goes.

one of my close friends (an AKA) threw our hand sign at me. it was a long time ago, and it was awkward, because i knew she knew it was wrong. why it would cross her mind to do it, who knows. she said, "oh, my fault, i meant to throw up peace sign."

shook it off kept it movin.

but then like 2 weeks ago she did it again! and we were ina big crowd and i just kinda shook my head negative at her, like, stop. and she was oh...

and THEN! a few days ago she saw me in the street and eee-yipped me! so of course i look and i see her. so i tried to call her on it as politely as i could. i said, "why do you do my call? is that how yall get down in florida?" and she's like, "oh i was trying to get your attention." i said, "but you never hear me skee-wee at you or throw up a pinky, right?" and she was like "yeah i guess... i just didnt see anything wrong with it."

WTH?

Wow. I have heard of other people joining calls, but using MY call and MY handsign? Frankly it is disrespectful to both her org and to yours, as somebody has already said. There is a civil way to just tell a FRIEND, "That's not cool." Just do it. A FRIEND would understand.