Ok to adopt a little sister?

[AOIIBrandi]

I was adopted, and it was no big deal. I was lucky and had 3 best friends from my chapter. My big who transferred schools my sophomore year. One of her pledge sister's who ended up adopting me, and my Little. Everyone knew that my original Big was still my Big, she just couldn't be there on a daily basis. When I got my little sister she knew I had 2 bigs, the one who adopted me, and was there all the time, and my original one who she met at initiation and who visited for other larger events.

I guess from my chapter's perspective the original family tree didn't go away we just added to it, as someone else said, with aunts, twins, cousins...

Please try not to get your feelings hurt, I'm sure it is nothing against you, rather your Little just needs a support system that is there on a daily basis - which you can't do anymore. It's not saying anything bad about you, it's just a fact of life.

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by KDLady23
Wow, I think that is actually horrible. When somebody graduates you don't just get a new big. That is the point of having a family tree, and becoming a big yourself.

I agree. I'd ticked too if something like that happened to me. The only way adoption was allowed to occur in my chapter was if the big disaffiliated. Graduation did not count. It's completely offensive to disown your big just because they graduated.

Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can do about it.

I agree, 33girl, that people are losing the meaning of formal adoption. Formal adoption is when the little essentially disowns their big. This new girl becomes their new big sister. They change their family number and any of their littles switch family numbers. The old big is basically pushed out of the picture. That's why my chapter has a rule that formal adoption can occur only when the big disaffiliates. I formally adopted one of my littles but only after her big disaffiliated. My little had a new family number and I had to get her a new jersey with that number. The littles that she had became my grandlittles and their family numbers switched to mine. It is a big deal because those girls do become a part of your "your family". There's no pseudo-bigs and littles. This is now your real big sister. I think telling someone to get over it is easier said than done.

[shu_gurl]

We don't even have adoptions in our chapter! If a potential big knows that she will not be in the chapter for 2 semesters then she is not allowed to take a little.

[Drolefille]

I adopted a new big sis myself. My real big was a senior and was barely around for her last year of school. My adopted big was not only my best friend in the sorority but also my roommate this past year. My chapter doesn't make such a big deal about families. One might have a family tree on a webpage, but that's about it. No colors, numbers, patterns, mascots, jerseys, etc.

So it really wasn't a big deal for me.

I don't know if the OPs situation is more like this, or more like the formal, end of the family jersey, type of situation. Either way, I guess I agree with the sentiment that you should be glad someone's there to take care of your little.

[AlphaPhiBubbles]

I only read like half the replies to your original post so excuse me if I'm being repetitive.

The way I see it, is that it kinda depends on your chapter...does this happen ever, or is it an isolated case? I'm asking rhetorically, but asking because in both the chapters I have been involved with, Big/Little relationships or designations are important, but pretty fluid. I guess we just never focused on "family" activities and having a big or little was just more of a special designation.

For instance, I have been adopted by two other sisters - once after my big graduated, and then again when I transferred. No biggie, my original big is still an awesome woman and we chat occasionally on Myspace and stuff...I don't think she'd be upset.

My ultimate point being, I wouldn't stress too much, especially since you have graduated.

[sdbeta1]

I only skimmed through a few of the posts. I was an a founding father my senior year in college, and therefore have never had a little or big brother. I am now at a different school for a two year graduate program and planning on adopting another founding father from this school who is a freshman. Well, not so much as planning but it already unofficially happened. I hate to be crashing the thread, but anyone have any input?

To the original poster, regardless from what happens it is out of your hands. You have to adapt to your surroundings, and get through these emotions. I can only offer my condolences that certain sisters from your chapter are ignoring you. Just be the bigger person, and keep showing them your love.