Online Dating - Page 2

33girl · #1 03-21-2006, 10:27 AM

For everyone: it's condescending.

I think all that Jess is trying to say is that she's glad she doesn't have to go through all the "getting to know you" crap of dating any more - similar to any of us saying (and I've seen it on here many times) "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with formal rush any more." It has nothing to do with "catching a man and getting your life started" - that isn't AT ALL what she said.

Jeez, people, quit being so oversensitive. And besides, if anyone has call to be oversensitive about something like this it's the women on here who are single and actually remember when Nixon was in office.

AlphaFrog · #2 03-21-2006, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
I think all that Jess is trying to say is that she's glad she doesn't have to go through all the "getting to know you" crap of dating any more - similar to any of us saying (and I've seen it on here many times) "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with formal rush any more." It has nothing to do with "catching a man and getting your life started" - that isn't AT ALL what she said.

That's EXACTLY what I was trying to say. Why does everyone insist on reading something that isn't there???

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #3 03-21-2006, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
For everyone: it's condescending.

I think all that Jess is trying to say is that she's glad she doesn't have to go through all the "getting to know you" crap of dating any more - similar to any of us saying (and I've seen it on here many times) "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with formal rush any more." It has nothing to do with "catching a man and getting your life started" - that isn't AT ALL what she said.

Jeez, people, quit being so oversensitive. And besides, if anyone has call to be oversensitive about something like this it's the women on here who are single and actually remember when Nixon was in office.

Sorry, I still think it's crap. I think it's crap when she says it, I think it's crap when my girlfriends from college say it, I think it's crap when ANYONE says it.

Life is just life and it's a process. If you're just walking around saying dating is SUCH A BURDEN and ALL CRAP and I HATE IT SO MUCH I WISH I WAS MARRIED RIGHT NOW you're missing out on a lot of the great parts to being single, and a huge chunk of years and social stuff in your life.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #4 03-21-2006, 10:35 AM

Plus, it makes you sound like a jerk.

33girl · #5 03-21-2006, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Sorry, I still think it's crap. I think it's crap when she says it, I think it's crap when my girlfriends from college say it, I think it's crap when ANYONE says it.

Life is just life and it's a process. If you're just walking around saying dating is SUCH A BURDEN and ALL CRAP and I HATE IT SO MUCH I WISH I WAS MARRIED RIGHT NOW you're missing out on a lot of the great parts to being single, and a huge chunk of years and social stuff in your life.

She never said that, nor did anyone else on this board.

I'm out dating again after many years of being in a relationship, and are there times I love it? Yes. Are there times I hate it? Yes. Am I going to marry the first chucklehead who asks just so I don't have to date anymore? HELL NO.

You're reading way too much into a simple comment. If you do have friends in their early-mid 20's who think that way...and it's bugging you this much...I'd say you need to find a new bunch of non-asshat friends.

honeychile · #6 03-21-2006, 10:41 AM

FWIW, I've thought of giving the online dating thing a whirl, but it's because I don't get much of a chance to meet people. I work in the suburbs, very small office, travel mostly to nursing homes, and have a lot of paperwork at nights. Plus, there's this really romantic attitude that I've developed of "would I change this man's diaper, if necessary?" Kinda puts you off dating.

I've had friends who went through eharmony & match.com, some who've met Mr/Ms Right, some who haven't.

Edited to add: Sheila, I hear you!

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #7 03-21-2006, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
She never said that, nor did anyone else on this board.

I'm out dating again after many years of being in a relationship, and are there times I love it? Yes. Are there times I hate it? Yes. Am I going to marry the first chucklehead who asks just so I don't have to date anymore? HELL NO.

You're reading way too much into a simple comment. If you do have friends in their early-mid 20's who think that way...and it's bugging you this much...I'd say you need to find a new bunch of non-asshat friends.

You're still wrong. Sorry, but you are.

honeychile · #8 03-21-2006, 11:12 AM

Can we at least agree that some people enjoy dating, and some don't?

I know that, newly coming out of a relationship, the very thought of dating is somewhat akin to blow drying my hair with a blowtorch.

wrigley · #9 03-21-2006, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
.
And besides, if anyone has call to be oversensitive about something like this it's the women on here who are single and actually remember when Nixon was in office.

Please explain what point you're trying to make with the Nixon reference in regard to a woman of that age and marital status. I'm trying to understand your point of view.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #10 03-21-2006, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by honeychile
Can we at least agree that some people enjoy dating, and some don't?

I know that, newly coming out of a relationship, the very thought of dating is somewhat akin to blow drying my hair with a blowtorch.

Okay, but how about this? You like dating the right guy, correct? It's fun, it's new, it's exciting to plan stuff. Then after awhile it's not new anymore but it's still great because it's comfortable, it's reliable, it's steady.

Nobody likes dating assholes, but I think most people like dating good people - even when it doesn't (gasp!) end in marriage.

I guess my point is, most relationships are like that - when you're getting into a new friendship with a woman, you have no idea if she's going to backstab you at work, or sleep with your boyfriend, or forget your birthday. But nobody would ever say, "Wow, I am SO GLAD I have all the friends I could EVER need and now I don't have to deal with making friends anymore!"

Essentially - relationships are imperfect, including marriages. Oh well. You make the best of what you've got, when you've got it.

And personally - if I was a guy, I would NOT be interested in women who walk around complaining about WHAT CRAP DATING IS and how once they're married they won't have to deal with this anymore.

AlphaFrog · #11 03-21-2006, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu

Life is just life and it's a process. If you're just walking around saying dating is SUCH A BURDEN and ALL CRAP and I HATE IT SO MUCH I WISH I WAS MARRIED RIGHT NOW you're missing out on a lot of the great parts to being single, and a huge chunk of years and social stuff in your life.

How is this comment not just as condecending to someone who is married?? We obviously have different ideas of what we want in our life, but you can't get on me about making comments about being married, and then turn around and spout BS about how you're SO happy you're still single and have a social life.

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Plus, it makes you sound like a jerk.

Are you sure I'm the one acting like the jerk here?

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
You're still wrong. Sorry, but you are.

33girl · #12 03-21-2006, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wrigley
Please explain what point you're trying to make with the Nixon reference in regard to a woman of that age and marital status.

I am one, FYI.

I'm just saying if anyone has the right to be offended by someone allegedly saying "thank God I has me a mayun and my life has done begun and I don't have to be miserable like all you single girls!" it's the women who have already lived more of life.

But I'm NOT offended, because no one ever said that.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #13 03-21-2006, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
How is this comment not just as condecending to someone who is married?? We obviously have different ideas of what we want in our life, but you can't get on me about making comments about being married, and then turn around and spout BS about how you're SO happy you're still single and have a social life.

Well, that's certainly a way to put words in my mouth.

I have no comments about married life, as I've never been married. Maybe you could cut and paste the part where I said "I am SO happy I'm still single! I have a social life!"

Looks to me like your reading comprehension needs a little work.

AlphaFrog · #14 03-21-2006, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
But nobody would ever say, "Wow, I am SO GLAD I have all the friends I could EVER need and now I don't have to deal with making friends anymore!"

This isn't an accurate comparison because unless you're a female polgamist (and hell, maybe you are, I don't know) one husband is all you're going to "ever need", and you DON'T have to date anymore.

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu

And personally - if I was a guy, I would NOT be interested in women who walk around complaining about WHAT CRAP DATING IS and how once they're married they won't have to deal with this anymore.

A) You aren't a guy, so it's a moot point
B) I didn't think dating sucked when I was younger, but now that I'm married, I can't imagine doing it again.

33girl · #15 03-21-2006, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Well, that's certainly a way to put words in my mouth.

Hi, pot! Meet kettle!