Confessions...

[DSTinguished1]

^^^Hmm good point. Not sure. Thanks for the advice lovehaiku84

[evaclear04]

Bajan_Delta,
Trust that are a lot of people in your situation. I also have a very strained relationship w/ my G-ma. My G-ma is pushing 90 and just doesn't know when to not speak. She has been that way all her life. She is still 'colorstruck' and told me that when I married my husband that she was happy that I had dumped the 'ape' I was dating before( My previous suitor was very dark complected).
During the time when my mom was sick she would say stupid stuff like... my mom was faking and there was nothing really wrong w/ her or that the doctors were lying. When my mother passed...she was more concerned w/ the music they were playing at her wake than the fact that her FIRST DAUGHTER just died. And then being that I was the only one struggling to handle her affairs....when I had to call her to get her info for the SSN Admin. She told me that I was trying to steal her money and identity. After that I have been through w/ her ever since. I know that it looks bad.... but I can't bring myself to even call her.
Just like I would tell my Mom when her own mother would hurt her feeling w/ that crap....Let negative people suffer on their own. Surround yourself w/ positive things and you'll have positive results.

Originally posted by DSTinguished1
I'm secretly in love with my best friend and I know I shouldn't be because we are like brother and sister. He has made it clear that he does not have feelings for me and he has a girlfriend. So why can't I shake these feelings??

Isn't brown sugar the one where she said "why doesn't my heart do what my brain tells it to do?" Or something to that effect (saw your post in another thread). That's just how it is sometimes. Sometimes separation is good, you won't be around that person as much and it gives you time to think about the situation.

[tld221]

my most recent confession:

i, too am secretly in love (wow, thats heavy, ok, really like) with this guy i work with (known him for about 2 years). he makes me laugh, which i love. as the saying goes, "make a girl laugh and you can make her do anything." i guess this is true, cause i've fallen head over heels for him (don't worry, i havent become totally spineless for him--i'm still me). i think he may be into me, there's been a lot of flirtation and innuendo lately. then again, you never know with men...

i'm really apprehensive about making a move. i've never had a man reciprocate romantic feelings towards me and i don't know how to handle it. and most of this stems from the lack of self-esteem i formerly suffered from (it's gotten a lot better!), but in the realm of relationships, i still feel like i don't deserve him or any great guy.

[Bajan_Delta]

This type of situation saddens me. The only thing that we can do is to ensure that we do not pass this type of emotional abuse down to future generations, love your children, hug your cousins, nieces, nephews let them know that they are special and loved. I am sad to hear that your mother has passed on, I can only imagine how you felt having to deal with all those details, while having to deal with such unnecessary negativity. I have found my grandmother loves abusive people. I'm not quite sure why, but the worse you treat her the better she will treat you. You can't tell her anything for her benefit or she will curse you out. She also suffers from slave mentality (seems like you grandma does too). She would tell me when i was little, "you're so pretty EVEN THOUGH you're dark". I'm surprised I'm not more screwed up.

Originally posted by evaclear04
Bajan_Delta,
Trust that are a lot of people in your situation. I also have a very strained relationship w/ my G-ma. My G-ma is pushing 90 and just doesn't know when to not speak. She has been that way all her life. She is still 'colorstruck' and told me that when I married my husband that she was happy that I had dumped the 'ape' I was dating before( My previous suitor was very dark complected).
During the time when my mom was sick she would say stupid stuff like... my mom was faking and there was nothing really wrong w/ her or that the doctors were lying. When my mother passed...she was more concerned w/ the music they were playing at her wake than the fact that her FIRST DAUGHTER just died. And then being that I was the only one struggling to handle her affairs....when I had to call her to get her info for the SSN Admin. She told me that I was trying to steal her money and identity. After that I have been through w/ her ever since. I know that it looks bad.... but I can't bring myself to even call her.
Just like I would tell my Mom when her own mother would hurt her feeling w/ that crap....Let negative people suffer on their own. Surround yourself w/ positive things and you'll have positive results.

[jitterbug13]

Confession #1: As many of ya'll may know, I don't like my job. AT ALL. But now I feel physcially sick every time I go there or even think about it. I have waisted over a year of my life trying to make this work and I can't see myself waiting for the next 3-5 years. And I don't get paid much (between $60-350 a week depending on how busy it is and lately, I've been working once a week). My dad talked me into leaving the job I was at (which I was getting ready to leave anyway) to do this one and now I realized it was for political reasons. I'm in the third generation in doing this job but the first female and first to do this particular job. Everyone says they're proud of me but I'm not proud of myself. I'm even ashamed to tell people what I do. Which leads up to...

Confession #2: I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. In college, I thought I was postive I was going to be a newspaper reporter. But back then, I had doubts, but small ones. Then I started working as a reporter and it eventually became the first job from Hell. The editors were very nasty and it was so bad that I cried just about ever night and became physically and emotionally tired. Becasue of this, I don't know if I want to go back into it. I started taking Master's classes in public relations but there are days I have doubts about that. I have thought of being a libarian, travel agent, event planner or owning my own para shop. I know I need to sit down to figure out what I need to do.

Confession #3: I like my Kappafriend, but my interest has been waining the last few weeks. We met in college several years ago and we had fun. He started going with a girl who used to live down the hall from me and I think she broke his heart (he rarely talks about it). We got together twice in the last few months but he's getting ready to move to Atlanta this weekend. It's hard getting in touch with him. I'll call and he's doesn't call back. He says he's busy but sometimes I have to wonder about that. I know there are other females intersted in him but he said that I was the only one he was interested in. A part of me tells me to move on but another wants me to see what will happen next. With him I feel like a doll on a shelf: he picks me up when he needs me. But there maybe one day he'll look for me and I'll be gone.

Sorry this is so long!

[MsFoxyLoxy77]

Originally Posted by jitterbug13

Confession #1: As many of ya'll may know, I don't like my job. AT ALL. But now I feel physcially sick every time I go there or even think about it. I have waisted over a year of my life trying to make this work and I can't see myself waiting for the next 3-5 years. And I don't get paid much (between $60-350 a week depending on how busy it is and lately, I've been working once a week). My dad talked me into leaving the job I was at (which I was getting ready to leave anyway) to do this one and now I realized it was for political reasons. I'm in the third generation in doing this job but the first female and first to do this particular job. Everyone says they're proud of me but I'm not proud of myself. I'm even ashamed to tell people what I do. Which leads up to...

Confession #2: I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. In college, I thought I was postive I was going to be a newspaper reporter. But back then, I had doubts, but small ones. Then I started working as a reporter and it eventually became the first job from Hell. The editors were very nasty and it was so bad that I cried just about ever night and became physically and emotionally tired. Becasue of this, I don't know if I want to go back into it. I started taking Master's classes in public relations but there are days I have doubts about that. I have thought of being a libarian, travel agent, event planner or owning my own para shop. I know I need to sit down to figure out what I need to do.

Confession #3: I like my Kappafriend, but my interest has been waining the last few weeks. We met in college several years ago and we had fun. He started going with a girl who used to live down the hall from me and I think she broke his heart (he rarely talks about it). We got together twice in the last few months but he's getting ready to move to Atlanta this weekend. It's hard getting in touch with him. I'll call and he's doesn't call back. He says he's busy but sometimes I have to wonder about that. I know there are other females intersted in him but he said that I was the only one he was interested in. A part of me tells me to move on but another wants me to see what will happen next. With him I feel like a doll on a shelf: he picks me up when he needs me. But there maybe one day he'll look for me and I'll be gone.

Sorry this is so long!

Are you living my parallel life sistergreek?
1. I'm just using the job I'm at now to pay and save for when I leave and forget about the job before that one.
2. I just got a great GRE score but I'm not sure what to do with the rest of my life.
3. I've been a business major since highschool but when I entered sales I ran into some serious ethical conflicts and will not be pursuing an MBA.
4. As for your Confession #3 I'll just keep that to myself for now.

[jitterbug13]

^^^^That was me a few months ago.

Confession #1 has been solved: I started a new job as a library assistant three weeks ago and have been really enjoying it. I was so happy leaving my old job and sometimes I realize that I am no longer there and that I am started to live the life that I want for myself. Even though I had to move and pizz off my parents in the process, I'm glad I did it.

Confession #2: I am begining to realize that I do want to become a librarian and will soon start getting ready to take the GRE so I can enroll in graduate school. And in most cases, don't have to leave work to do it. They will even help me pay for school.

Confession #3: Kappafriend and I have been talking more and trying to support other. His father died last month and his aunt a little more than a week ago. He's been in his hometown since his dad passed and we been talking a few times a week. I hope this doesn't change when he moves back.

[Dionysus]

TTT-I like this thread.

I'm kind of cheap. For halloween, instead of buying a costume like everyone else, I grabbed a name tag and wrote my name, and came as myself.

I flunked my driver's exam twice. That d*mn parallel parking is what held me back.

I don't wash my hands after taking a 3 a.m. pee. I'm going back to bed, why does it matter?

[raggann03]

I don't post much but I'll go with this...

I became engaged earlier this year, several months later we came to a mutual decison that we need a real break from each other. Fast forward a couple of months, I find out that the he had been seeing this other chick for a couple of months and been sleeping with several others. I find this out through an anonymous email from who else...the girl he is sleeping with, but she disguises herself be claiming to be a member of my sorority
it gets ugly but I remain the calm collected lady that I am.
My confession...I want to smack that b****!!!, slash some tires and just get all out ghetto on their a**!!

whew! I feel better already

[Dionysus]

I do pretty well when it comes to books, but I have no common sense.

[teena]

Another confession. I am a real wimp when it comes to talking to a guy that I am really interested in. I can talk to all kinds of people about all types of things, but when it comes to talking to 'him' I cant find one word to say.

[KAPPAtivating]

Bajan, please let me share with you some words of advice. While I was the person who felt the need to "go the f**k off", I eventually learned that sometimes you do all you can to make things right with that person. If they choose not to, then you continue to live your life right. That's what I had to do with my father.

My mission was to make sure that I lived everday to the best of my ability and to sleep peacfully at night. I tried to work things out, but he was not interested. I am proud to say that after three years of not speaking to me, GOD spoke to him and put it on his heart to apologize to me (this just happend two days ago).

Just know that if you do your part and continue to live right, God will make ALL of your enemies behave!

Originally posted by Bajan_Delta
This type of situation saddens me. The only thing that we can do is to ensure that we do not pass this type of emotional abuse down to future generations, love your children, hug your cousins, nieces, nephews let them know that they are special and loved. I am sad to hear that your mother has passed on, I can only imagine how you felt having to deal with all those details, while having to deal with such unnecessary negativity. I have found my grandmother loves abusive people. I'm not quite sure why, but the worse you treat her the better she will treat you. You can't tell her anything for her benefit or she will curse you out. She also suffers from slave mentality (seems like you grandma does too). She would tell me when i was little, "you're so pretty EVEN THOUGH you're dark". I'm surprised I'm not more screwed up.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Dionysus
I do pretty well when it comes to books, but I have no common sense.

I ain't got no kinna common sense... So my family says... And they always judge the me by the way I look or present myself in public.

The irony is I don't care anymore. It use to bother me when I was younger, and sometimes when I'm around them and they criticize on looks or the way I do things, it gets to me--every now and then--but, hayle, I am already too crazy to have to deal with the way other think I need to "portray myself", than deal with my own idiosyncrasies...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by jitterbug13
Confession #1: As many of ya'll may know, I don't like my job. AT ALL. But now I feel physcially sick every time I go there or even think about it. I have waisted over a year of my life trying to make this work and I can't see myself waiting for the next 3-5 years. And I don't get paid much (between $60-350 a week depending on how busy it is and lately, I've been working once a week). My dad talked me into leaving the job I was at (which I was getting ready to leave anyway) to do this one and now I realized it was for political reasons. I'm in the third generation in doing this job but the first female and first to do this particular job. Everyone says they're proud of me but I'm not proud of myself. I'm even ashamed to tell people what I do. Which leads up to...

You need to leave your job fast. No reason to cut 100 years off your life and die of a heart attack because it is driving you insane... No job is worth that pain... I KNOW, because oneday I was working very hard at my job in Dallas and found myself waking up off the floor...

Bottomline, your health comes first and foremost. Ain't nobody gonna take better care of you than yo-sef... EFF what others say..

Originally posted by jitterbug13
Confession #2: I don't know what to do with the rest of my life...I started taking Master's classes in public relations but there are days I have doubts about that. I have thought of being a libarian, travel agent, event planner or owning my own para shop. I know I need to sit down to figure out what I need to do.

I like the fact that you are taking some classes here and there--and it says you are doing something... I know you'll figure it out and it will probably be soon...