I_Love_Penguins' Rush Experience

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by JocelynC
I feel compelled to say this. I hope no one flames me. Do keep in mind that membership selection is the business of INITIATED members only. If your roomie is a New Member, chances are she has no clue why you didn't get a bid and is purely speculating. No one except initiated DPhiE's from that chapter know why you didn't get a bid.

I agree...I was thinking that too when I read that.

[adpiucf]

I'm sorry recruitment didn't work out as you'd hoped. It's very normal to feel upset, sad, mad and/or disappointed. Take the time to feel these things and do something special for yourself.

It may not seem this way now, and yes, you're on a board composed of mostly Greek members, but Sorority Life, while it can be fun and fulfilling, is just one aspect to the college experience. You can try again if you choose or as someone else said, investigate other Campus Activities. For now--Go home for a visit, spend time with good friends, go shopping, do something fun for yourself.

Work on those grades and bring them up. Also, remember you are special, unique and wonderful. Not getting a sorority bid doesn't make you any less of a person. It's an ego bruise, but one that you can overcome by living your life, talking it out and keeping busy with school and friends.

Good luck and please stick around on Greek Chat!

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by JocelynC
I feel compelled to say this. I hope no one flames me. Do keep in mind that membership selection is the business of INITIATED members only. If your roomie is a New Member, chances are she has no clue why you didn't get a bid and is purely speculating. No one except initiated DPhiE's from that chapter know why you didn't get a bid.

Depending on the way membership selection works in a particular group, not even all of the iniated members may know.

[achio_kerryann]

any chance you might want to found your own sorority?

[Rollergirl2001]

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's hard to face rejection, but it seems that you have dealt with it very well. I was rejected from all of the sororities during rush. I was upset, and later mad, but I've got over it, because I'm a strong and determined person. Anyway, it takes time to get over it. Some girls get over their rejections very quickly others (like myself) take a long time. It took me a whole semester to get over it, because I wasn't really rejected for anything in my life and rejection was hard for me.

Take this rush as a learning experience. You will face rejection all of your life.

Be with your family for some support. Continue to be friends with your roommate and your neighbors. If you don't, jealousy will sprout ugly and will get worse.

Talk to other people for support. Like your RA (resident advisor) or a counselor or other people that are not Greek but support the Greek system. Please do realize that you're not alone when it comes to rejection.

Also, get your grades up, not just to try to get into the sororities, but also for grad school (if you plan to go), because as the work load gets harder for you, it would become difficult for you to improve your grades way above a 3.0. You have to compete with others that will have higher GPAs than you.

Try other organizations. You'll make just about the same amount of friends as you would in a sorority.

Think positive. It will be the only way to boost your self-esteem back to normal.

Originally posted by achio_kerryann
any chance you might want to found your own sorority?

[Insert BANG HEAD HERE!]

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by achio_kerryann
any chance you might want to found your own sorority?

Starting a sorority is a serious and VERY time consuming undertaking, not something that someone "just does" on a whim because they didn't get a bid from an existing sorority.

[33girl]

Originally posted by achio_kerryann
any chance you might want to found your own sorority?

This campus already has 10 sororities and some of them are far from being at total. The last thing they need is another.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally posted by I_Love_Penguins
I When she asked about my status (I mentioned we were roommates), she told me that the girls said I was very close to getting a bid, but then someone else got one..

If your campus does the quota/total system and DPhiE had 5 open spots but 10 girls they wanted, this MIGHT be possible but only a very small group of sisters (maybe only 2) would know what your rank was in that grouping. I don't think the sisters who said those words were well informed.

I hope you enjoyed your visit home this weekend and it helped to clear your head.

I concur with 33girl who said there are 10 groups there and most are too far from total to even consider expanding now. You may have also cut a few groups that you did not even give a shot to. You cut DPhiE first and then decided to give them a shot. Maybe there is another group you haven't given consideration to.

Good luck.

Denise

[JenMarie]

I am sorry things didn't go as planned this semester. But I'm sure there are plenty of other ways to get involved in campus life.

Student government can be one idea... there are probably a multitude of clubs or maybe your major has a greek organization you can join (if you absolutely have to go Greek.)

Or maybe a service club/organization? Volunteer?

[xoheatherxo]

sorry to hear what happened, but as others have said, everything happens for a reason. take this semester to concentrate on your schoolwork and raise your gpa. even if you dont want to rush in the fall, getting your gpa up even higher than it is is always a good thing! and you never know--you might end up wanting to rerush in the fall and may fall in love with a different house! or you may rerush and decide that greek life isnt for you. or you may just decide that you dont want to rush again. i know its going to be hard to hang out with the girls that got bids to the sorority that you wanted to be in, but try to maintain the friendships. i transferred in a spring semester and rushed the following fall, so i had already made a bunch of friends before i rushed. after i rushed the girls that didnt rush or didnt get a bid were distant and it was hard. just trying to let you know that its just as awkward to them as it is for you. but definetely be supportive of their situations as im sure theyll try to be supportive of yours. good luck with everything and keep us updated if you decide to rush again in the fall!

[I_Love_Penguins]

Bumping this back up with an update...

I was looking back on my thread and it was actually amazing to relive rush from the spring semester! I know that sounds strange because I didn't have a happy ending, but it was still an experience I'm glad I had. Still can't believe that almost seven months has gone by since I went through everything. And I was even looking back at my postings of sadness going "Wow I can't believe I wrote all this!"

My grades did improve last semester. Not drastically but if memory serves me correctly, I think my GPA was around a 3.1 or a 3.2.

Over the summer, an incoming freshman messaged me on Myspace figuring she could look to me for help getting to know the campus and getting adjusted. So I've been helping her with some of the activities that are out there, and even though I'm a GDI, I told her about my rush experience and what our Greek system is like. I'm not sure if she's going to rush next semester (at our school first semester freshmen can't rush), but it was nice to be able to educate people about what it's like.

Here on campus, all the sororities are starting to put up their rush banners again. It brings back a feeling of excitement for me.

I'm a junior now and I've decided that this semester I'm not going to go through formal rush. I am pretty busy with a 17 credit courseload, a 3-4 day per week part time job, and an assistant editor/staff writer position with the school paper. However...

I will go through COB if I can find out the dates. I just keep checking back with the websites for Greek Life and the school news/events page because that's where dates are posted. Rush starts next week(?) I think. I just don't have time to call off from work and drop my responsibilities to go through all the nights of rush. But I will do COBs for some sororities if possible. If I COB and don't get a bid, then I will just move forward with my life.

If I can't COB, that is OK too. I've had enough time to get over the upset of not being bid. I've realized being in a sorority is a great thing to do, but not the be all/end all of college and there are plenty of other things to do. I might take up dance ensemble this year...I went to their recital in April and now that is something I'm interested in.

Well I don't know who will read this but I figured since it's that time of year, I'd bump this up and give anyone who's interested an update. And I'll certainly let everyone know if I go through COB.

[gphiangel624]

That's awesome news. I think you have a GREAT attitude and hope it works out for you this year.

Good luck!

[honeychile]

I_Love_Penguins, you're already a Recruitment Success! If you COB a house you love, I surely hope that you get a bid. Your attitude is to be envied!

[AlexMack]

I went through informal, fell in love with one house and never got asked back for pref. I wrote off the other sorority I went to because I didn't feel a connection initially.
Later on, I emailed their recruitment chair, asked about COB and they took me out for coffee and then I found they'd signed a bid for me before they picked me up.
COB is a wonderful, informal setting. I definitely think you should try for COB, and if not, it sounds like you've already carved a niche for yourself on campus. You really do have the greatest attitude and any sorority would be lucky to have you