Advice to rushers: re: legacies - Page 10

33girl · #1 03-31-2008, 03:40 PM

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Originally Posted by phimu88

my daughter is going thru rush this fall and I have recs lined up for her so far at Phi Mu, KD, Tri Delta... she is a double legacy Phi Mu and I would be upset if Phi Mu cut her. I would not be upset if she chose another sorority though. I guess that is a double standard? Oh well I just hope she finds the one she really loves if she decides to join one at all. It is completely up to her.

No, that's understandable. But as long as you adopt the "if she's happy I'm happy" attitude that's what matters. Good luck to your daughter!

gwen1982 · #2 04-16-2008, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phimu88

Oh well I just hope she finds the one she really loves if she decides to join one at all. It is completely up to her. She will be attending a recruitment reception in a couple of weeks. Maybe she will learn something about each of the sororities then.

That's my feeling. I've had my daughter and niece go through recruitment and my biological sister coming up. I'm still very active, locally and nationally, and all of them are aware of it. My daughter and my niece have both attended open events with other actives and alums and enjoyed it immensely (my sister lives some distance away so couldn't attend).

When my daughter went to college, she was very eager for recruitment. She went to a school where we don't have a chapter, but I encouraged her to go through even though she had no real knowledge of the other GLOs. She went thru as a first semester freshman and was cut after first rounds. She was upset a bit, but also taken aback by how fast paced recruitment was, so it didn't bother her too much. She decided to go through informal in the spring and soon found out why she was cut the previous semester. After the first round of events, she ran into a sister from one of the GLO's in a bar near school. The girl was a little tipsy and point black told my daughter that she needed to drop out of rush because no one was going to bid "some handicapped chick." My daughter was upset at first, then angry. And I was both angry and horrified. My daughter eventually went through AI with Theta Phi. (Don't jump on the AI part...there's a whole different thread about that!)

When my niece went to college (she's not considered a legacy by our standards), I was thrilled she was going where we had a chapter. I was a bit of a nudge about her going through recruitment

I really wanted her to go through because you can't know about it unless you do, right? When she got to her prefs, I got a phone call - did I care if she went somewhere else? I told her the same thing I told my daughter - if you choose a house and the house chooses you, I don't care which it is. Just let me know when your fund raisers and philanthropies are. That put her at ease a bit, I think. I'm pleased to say that she's now a Theta Phi sister.

I don't think a legacy should be cut just because she's a legacy elsewhere. But I have one argument that I haven't seen here (if it is, sorry I missed it!) I fully understand that the chapter wants a good fit, but I'm sure many of you have had the "psycho sister" or "sister from hell" experience. And sometimes those psycho sisters turn out to grow up and be wonderful and active alums, giving more time and money to the chapter and organization as a whole than anyone would have ever thought possible. (I know there was at least one of those when I was active!) And the last time I checked, we're members for life, not just for a couple years in college. That shy legacy who was kinda quiet and took AP Calculus her junior year in high school? Who's to say she couldn't end up being National Treasurer one day. I'm not saying that legacies deserve any more preferential treatment than they already get. But maybe a look from a different perspective. That actually could go for any PNM.

Sorry so long winded. Couldn't spit it out any other way.

33girl · #3 04-16-2008, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gwen1982

But I have one argument that I haven't seen here (if it is, sorry I missed it!) I fully understand that the chapter wants a good fit, but I'm sure many of you have had the "psycho sister" or "sister from hell" experience. And sometimes those psycho sisters turn out to grow up and be wonderful and active alums, giving more time and money to the chapter and organization as a whole than anyone would have ever thought possible. (I know there was at least one of those when I was active!) And the last time I checked, we're members for life, not just for a couple years in college.

But the thing is - college is when you're going to be living with the psycho and dealing with the psycho on a regular basis. It's not worth saying "maybe she'll be faboo when she's 30" if she's going to make your whole collegiate sorority experience miserable and cause a divide in your chapter. And some of these "psycho sisters" we've referenced - that's EXACTLY what they do. We're not talking about little quirks like someone who never replaces the toilet paper.

I think that unhoused (or undormed) chapters can probably accept a greater diversity of women than those that are housed - if you don't have to live with someone they have to do quite a bit more to drive you nuts.

baci · #4 03-31-2008, 03:43 PM

ITA!^^

Zillini · #5 07-07-2009, 04:08 PM

KDlady80, legacies are extended a great deal of courtesy. I suspect that many of scary posts you read are the extreme horror stories and not the norm.

Like KSUViolet said, keep in mind that a lot depends on which organization you are talking about on which campus. In my own GLO some Chapters would be ecstatic if 2-3 legacies went through recruitment. In other places there are 2x quota worth of legacies participating. Even if they wanted to they can't extend bids to every legacy because the numbers simply won't allow it.

KSUViolet06 · #6 07-07-2009, 03:17 PM

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