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I agree 100% with KSUViolet06. Being a non-drinker in and of itself does not matter as long as you are okay being around people who do drink and don't make it a big deal.
My chapter always had non-drinkers, and in my church group there were plenty of fraternity and sorority members who did not drink.
And quite frankly, as a non-drinker you can be of great value to a chapter. The best Risk Management officers are guys who don't drink. Rush captains who don't drink can do very well too, as can Presidents. This can be to your advantage down the road.
As for rush and being shy, I am laughing as I remember a guy we rushed when I was in college. I was one of the 2 actives assigned to pick him up, bring him to the event and make sure he got introduced around.
The guy was silent. He did not say one word- and if you asked him a question he would give the shortest answer possible and then go back to being silent.
We gave him a bid, he accepted- and within 2 semesters he was an executive officer, and a damn good one at that. His being so quiet was kind of a funny thing, but we could tell he was a good guy and someone we wanted around.
As for attire, do what makes you comfortable. If you would be comfortable dressing more like the fraternity guys you see- then it is a good idea to get a few new clothes and try to blend in a little more. You will find all through life- both personally and in your chosen profession- that unspoken dress codes are part of what help people feel more comfortable with each other when they first meet. Once you are known and respected, dress code matters less (within certain limits of course.)
Overall, my advice to you would be to work personally on these areas if you feel like it would help- but don't try to change yourself. And don't ever apologize to anyone during rush for being too quiet or dressing different etc. People can be very accepting of someone if that person seems confident with who they are.
When a chapter appears to have a very specific style of dress or general behavior common to ALL actives- that is indicative of a place that recruits a very specific type of person from a very specific type of background. If you fit that mold, then how you dress and behave is just part of the overall package- not something you have to create in order to get through rush. And trying to change yourself to fit that will not change you- and will not change your chances.
Be yourself, have fun and just see where it goes.
BTW- as for your comment about not getting along with everyone, that is how it is. When you take any group of 50-100+ people and put them together in a fraternity, a workplace or any other common setting- it is impossible for any one person to like everybody or for everybody to like any one person.
Focus on the friends you can make, and build that now. Those are the guys who will fight to make sure you get a bid. And you will learn to be cordial and get along with guys you might not like down the road- it is one of the best life lessons a fraternity can offer.
I hope this helps and do please post back here once rush is done. I have fond memories of my days rushing, and it is always good to hear how it goes for others.
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The GC Master Beta
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Thanks.
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