I am soo not this person - meaning normally, I don't post to message boards. In fact, I've never done it before, so if I break any rules or protocols, I'm so sorry. I'm just a heart broken mom looking for answers.
I want to make it clear that everything you read here is accurate and honest. Otherwise, how could I expect honest help from you all. Our daughter went through Rush at UGA last week, and we are still reeling from the experience. I wasn't in a sorority in college. I had no preconceived notions about them. We have only lived in GA - right in a surrounding county of Athens - for 10 years. Our daughter wanted to Rush, so we supported it.
She's one of those "whole package" kids: Honors and AP classes, great g.p.a., scholarships to both University of Louisville and Indiana University as well as UGA, three pages of activities and volunteer'isms (literally! we really had a hard time cutting things out to fit on the one page Rush registration form), very well liked, and, of course, stunningly beautiful - blonde hair, green eyes, the whole nine yards.
She knows a couple of girls in each of the sororities, some more than others. She had wonderful letters of recommendation for most of the houses. She wore very nice dresses, shoes, accessories, etc - name brands everyone would recognize (which absolutely kills me to mention). After round one she had several "favorites", but loved her experience at all the houses. She truly felt welcomed at each house and with one exception, that she had really made a connection with all the young ladies sent to interact with her. At the end of round one she struggled to rank the houses.
Round Two: She was very excited to get her invitation card on the morning of the second round. To her disappointment (you knew this part was coming), she had only three invitations for second round. She was still very interested in the three remaining houses, but obviously feeling pretty rejected. After we talked on the phone that morning, she picked herself up and headed out. That evening, she ranked the day's house visits as one, two, and three.
Round Three: There was no round three. She received a call from her recruitment counselor that morning letting her know that there would be no need to come to Rush that day, as she had been cut from the remaining three houses.
She was devastated, is devastated, and because she is in so much pain - so am I. All of her friends from our county received 8 to 12 invitations to round two. All of the girls from our county received bids on bid day except four and one of those declined a "snap bid" (I think that's the term). So actually three girls from our county did not receive a bid at all. My daughter was the only one cut so drastically. She managed the courage to keep her name on the open bid list, but nothing has materialized to date.
I spent two days with her after she was cut. She is a level-headed girl with a great sense of identity. She was everyone's go-to girl in high school. As I said, well-liked and successful, and she has had her share of disappointments and handled them well. She could put things in perspective. But, this has been more than she can process - cut by all 18 sororities in two days when her visits had seemed to go so well!
She wasn't holding out for any particular group, she had no preconceived ideas about the houses, and as she always does in all areas of her life, she didn't judge any of the groups by labels or the rumor mill. She would have been happy to have received a bid from any of the houses.
In reading some of the threads about UGA rush, am I understanding that of the 1300 girls participating, 900 of them recieved bids? She and I are both struggling so hard to make sense of what has happened. I have given her the talk about "it just being about getting the numbers down, etc.", but she hasn't been able to accept it. She knows that several of the girls from our county who received bids don't have her academic, work, and volunteerism record, nor do they have her outgoing personality. They weren't legacies either. She's convinced that something went wrong.
I don't want this to sound like "sour grapes" or a "my kid can walk on water" speech. We're a well grounded, realistic family with two well grounded, realistic kids. Our daughter gets grounded, receives an allowance, does chores (even now - when she's home), etc...
What do I tell her at this point? Her Rush experience was so completely different from that of everyone she knows - all of her hallmates, friends, and other acquaintances. How do I help her?
I'm so sorry for the incredibly long post. Has anyone else had this experience? How do I help her get over the overwhelming feelings of rejection?
Thank you, GaMom
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