Bartender Psychology...

DeltAlum · #1 10-06-2005, 09:28 AM

Bartenders Psychology:
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink..................

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful ot to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay

AlphaFrog · #2 10-06-2005, 09:35 AM

This is GREAT!

Lindz928 · #3 10-06-2005, 09:49 AM

I'm a wine drinker.

But not white zin... Eww.

DeltAlum · #4 10-06-2005, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lindz928
I'm a wine drinker. But not white zin... Eww.

But you're from Texas, so all bets are off.

Lindz928 · #5 10-06-2005, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
But you're from Texas, so all bets are off.

What does that mean?

sugar and spice · #6 10-06-2005, 11:11 AM

I think these are all pretty spot-on except for the mixed drinks category, which is way too broad to cover everything. I mean, come on -- do they really think that girls drinking amaretto sours are classy, older women with refined taste? You can't put that in the same category as a G&T . . . which can't go in the same category as a Long Island.

And I will only drink white zin if it's Franzia. If you're gonna do it, why not go all out . . .

tinydancer · #7 10-06-2005, 11:14 AM

Now that's some funny stuff!

DeltAlum · #8 10-06-2005, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lindz928
What does that mean?

Beats me, but it looks good on paper.

tinydancer · #9 10-06-2005, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Beats me, but it looks good on paper.

Spoken like a true journalist.

#10 10-06-2005, 11:09 PM

I come from the land of Lava Flows, MaiTais, and Pina Coladas, but being that those drinks are typical "touristy" drinks, it rarely got ordered at my bar.

But when it did, I'd give the customer a really dirty look. Blended drinks are a friggin' pain in the ass especially when the bar's busy. I don't know how many times I'd lie and say the blender was broken.

BobbyTheDon · #11 10-07-2005, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
If you're gonna do it, why not go all out . . .

All girls need your mentality.

If your gonna give ... why not go all out?

Oh...hmmm.

Ok what sound is this.

clickity clack clickity clack clickity clack clack

clickity clack clickity clack clickity clack bang.

An Amish drive by.

*crickett...crickett*

Hi

DeltAlum · #12 10-07-2005, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by OTW
I don't know how many times I'd lie and say the blender was broken.

Understandable...

Cute story:

A few years ago I was at a Broadcast programming conference in Houston and we went to some huge cowboy bar and rodeo for a booze and BBQ party thrown by one of the huge exhibitors.

A woman from our station, and a guy from a Station Rep firm (who I strongly suspected was gay) went to this place together. Everything was free...

So, we go up to the first bar in the place, and the woman from the station says, (giggle) "Well, we're in Texas, I think I'll have a Lone Star. (giggle)

The bar tender (with a less than friendly look) grunts, "Lone Star, right!"

The other guy says (giggle), "Oh, I'll have a Lone Star, too." (giggle)

The bar tender (looking even less friendly and rolling his eyes), "Lone Star, sure."

He looks at me, his mood worsening and says, "and you?"

I said, "Give me a Bud and a shot of Jack Daniels."

The bartender says (with a smile), "Yes sir, is there anything else I can do for you?"

Lindz928 · #13 10-07-2005, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Understandable...

Cute story:

A few years ago I was at a Broadcast programming conference in Houston and we went to some huge cowboy bar and rodeo for a booze and BBQ party thrown by one of the huge exhibitors.

A woman from our station, and a guy from a Station Rep firm (who I strongly suspected was gay) went to this place together. Everything was free...

So, we go up to the first bar in the place, and the woman from the station says, (giggle) "Well, we're in Texas, I think I'll have a Lone Star. (giggle)

The bar tender (with a less than friendly look) grunts, "Lone Star, right!"

The other guy says (giggle), "Oh, I'll have a Lone Star, too." (giggle)

The bar tender (looking even less friendly and rolling his eyes), "Lone Star, sure."

He looks at me, his mood worsening and says, "and you?"

I said, "Give me a Bud and a shot of Jack Daniels."

The bartender says (with a smile), "Yes sir, is there anything else I can do for you?"

LOL. That sounds like Texas! Sidenote.... I've lived here all my life and have never had a Lonestar.

Natty Light... Yep. Keystone.... Yep. Shiner.... Of course. But not Lonestar.

Phigirl04 · #14 10-07-2005, 06:06 PM

Okay, probably a dumb question. But what is a Lonestar?

Tom Earp · #15 10-07-2005, 06:34 PM

Lone Star, a Piece of Crap Beer made Famous By Urban Cowbpy!

Kind of Like Dixie Beer another Crap Beer!

OMG, A Pro Female falls for that trick!

OH WELL, It As Texass! No wonder!