Evil kids at parties

[carnation]

Have any of you had experiences with children who act awful at parties?

We've had a few over the years but yesterday really capped it all. We had a Halloween birthday party for my child and at his school, you have to pass out invitations to everyone in the class if you're going to give them out at school. There was this one kid whom we knew was hell because Ballerina had accompanied our son to a party at his house last summer. We thought we were ready for him...

This kid did not want to play games, make caramel apples, watch the Halloween cartoon, or eat cake and ice cream. (He screamed all this out nonstop.) What he wanted to do was get into my son's room and trash it and his toys. And to top it off, his mother was there and watched fondly as he did all this..all we ever heard from her was one, "Honey, where are your social skills?" (He HAS some?)BTW, this kid is 8, not 3.

How did you handle this if it happened to you?

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I have seen this and even worse.

I attended a First Communion party in May at a private room in a restaurant. There were seven children under seven. Six of them were running around and screaming and being royal pains in the butt. The parents just sat by and did nothing when their children were misbehaving so much. They decided to get under the table and attempt to take off our shoes. They almost turned the table over. I could not stand it. My mother had enough so we left early. It happens all the time with these kids. One on one they are very sweet and well behaved, but when they get together it can be bad.

The reason six of the seven misbehaved is because the seventh is only a few months old. She is an angel now, but I fear there is a little devil in her just trying to get out.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
They decided to get under the table and attempt to take off our shoes.

You should have smooshed a little hand or two under the heel of your shoe!

Carnation, I've had that happen during parties I've thrown for my girls. I have found that saying something to the mother like, "I think Damian is a little overwhelmed by all this activity. Why don't you sit with him for a bit on the porch until he unwinds a little." really helps.

And if she's offended, tough tittles! You're saving the little devil heartache in the long run because if he keeps acting up he's going to find himself sitting at home a lot once invitations to the entire class are not mandatory!

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Originally posted by carnation
We had a Halloween birthday party for my child and at his school, you have to pass out invitations to everyone in the class if you're going to give them out at school. There was this one kid whom we knew was hell because..

This is where you should have made the decision to mail the invitations to the kids and their parents and hellboy's just happens to "get lost in the mail"

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by carnation
We had a Halloween birthday party for my child and at his school, you have to pass out invitations to everyone in the class if you're going to give them out at school.

We NEVER gave invitations in class. The school had that rule; my parents either mailed the invites or distributed them to the neighborhood parents themselves. That way, I didn't have to invite kids I didn't like, and there weren't any awkward situations.

I have experienced that and that is awful.... definitely in the right by asking the mom to take him aside to calm him down. My brothers son is a prime examples. My nehphew is 3 yrs older than my son and we had a party last yr and he was throwing a fit by being at a kiddie party and all he wanted to do was turn the attention his way and wreck havoc over everything. I told my sister in law and she gets her noise out of joint by anything because she isn't the center of attention. My mother told my brother you take him out and calm his butt down or go home! he is a evil lil kid sometimes and gets it from his mom and i wans't going to ruin my sons b'day party because of pety jealousy.


I have not yet exp the bday invite thing yet since this is my sons first yr in school.....so you have to give all kids invites in their class ...i don't see where that is fair....maybe your child doesn't get along well with some others ...i think you should be able to hand out to who you want and that should not be a school rule. yes mailing them might be a better way, but the school should not infringe on your bday party plans for your child. I mean if susie q and i dont get a long and she is having a party i wouldnt want an invite anyways...

Like i said this is first yr for me so i get to exp things i didn't deal with when i was in school.

[sageofages]

Originally posted by cutiepatootie
I
I have not yet exp the bday invite thing yet since this is my sons first yr in school.....so you have to give all kids invites in their class ...i don't see where that is fair....maybe your child doesn't get along well with some others ...i think you should be able to hand out to who you want and that should not be a school rule. yes mailing them might be a better way, but the school should not infringe on your bday party plans for your child. I mean if susie q and i dont get a long and she is having a party i wouldnt want an invite anyways...

Like i said this is first yr for me so i get to exp things i didn't deal with when i was in school.

Our school has the rule...NO DISTRIBUTING PARTY INVITATIONS AT SCHOOL PERIOD and I really like that. The school district's thought is...we are here to promote education NOT facilitate social lives . Phone calls and mailed invitations are the way to go. I tell my children that who they invite to their parties is not to be advertised so no one's feelings are hurt because we have a limit on who we can invite and you should try to get along with everyone. Handing out invitations at school starts "cliques" and encourages that snippy behavior that humans can exhibit. Why reinforce it?

As for the problem child at the party. We usually do parties "out of house" just for this reason. Those parties we do have in the house, we have a rule stated up front "no one off the first floor (no basement, no bedroom floor)". Of course having the bedrooms upstairs really helps the situation

I would definitely no include problem child on anymore invite lists. I have done that before .

[winnieb]

We have had this problem, however it was a 3 year old, but the mother was a huge contributor to the problem.
It was my son's 3rd birthday party-- we invited his friends from daycare class and his neighbor friends--about 20 kids in all. (note: do not write on the invites there will be a moonwalk there--everyone will show up).
Our hellion child is named Lucy-- her mom April stayed at the party with her. I let them in the front door and told them that everyone was out back-- they headed that way- I went to let someone else in and her comes the mom walking down my hallway--from the bedrooms. I asked if I could help her-- he reply was "NO" with a look like I was bothering her in her home. I ushered her out. --not a good start.
We went outside, there was a cooler of Koolaid juice bottle things, gatorade in a big cooler thing, and pop in a cooler for the parents. Lucy opened one of every color of the Koolaid bottles, to test taste them. Poured cups of Gatorade and let them sit out for everyone to get hot. I asked her to stop, her mom praised her for being a good helper. After round two at the cooler one of the other moms sat on it to keep Lucy out. Lucy said she wanted a pop, we said they were for the grown ups only. Her mom yelled up and said "oh she's getting it for me"-- we handed it to her. Lucy carried it to her mom, her mom opened it, handed it to Lucy while looking at us, and Lucy took one drink and poured it in the yard. She was an evil child. When the kids were in the moonwalk, we rotated them in and out--- Lucy threw a fit on her turns to get out-- at one point I ran inside and found Lucy jumping on the couch. I told her to get down, she said she wanted to jumped --- too bad kid, why don't ya go jump on the hood of your mom's car, and try not to fall into the traffic while you are out that! (ok, so i wasn't that rude to her-- but....)
I have not seen Lucy at a bday party since-- I think all the parents learned a thing or two at my kid's party.
We no longer have the parties at our house-- its a whole lot easier.
Our district requires if invites will be passed out at school then the entire class will get them.

[carnation]

See, it's understandable that the schools want you to hand out invitations (and also Valentines) to everyone if you hand them out at school; no one wants to hurt feelings. However, they won't give parents a list of phone numbers so you can call the kids you want to come either. If you have an older child, they can get the list themselves but a younger child can't handle that.

We have discovered that my son's Yu-Gi-Oh cards that the evil kid kept trying to get ahold of are missing. We are about to deal with this. Next year, we'll just invite his Cub Scout den and hand out invitations at the meeting. If Satan Jr. is in the den, we'll get a list of phone numbers at the meeting.

His mom thinks we're going to let our boy come visit hers. Uh, no.

[wrigley]

It's ridiculous that schools are now requiring invitations so the kids have a social calendar.. What are the penalities if you don't invite all the kids in the class? Adult detention? A spot on your kids records that say Jane or Joe has parents that are mean because they don't want to put whatever class size is for a party? If the district requires it, then the district should give some cash to parents to help pay for the parties.

It sounds like bouncers or security need to be installed at kiddie parties at home so the nutty parents and kids stay where they're supposed to be and not snoop around bedrooms,bathrooms or anywhere else. Carnation it sounds like you should to check your jewelry box too if that kid is anything like his mom.

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by sageofages
Our school has the rule...NO DISTRIBUTING PARTY INVITATIONS AT SCHOOL PERIOD and I really like that.

The schools I attended when I was growing up had the same rule. It's a good rule, I think - passing out invitations at school encourages cliques, upsets those who aren't invited, and distracts from the primary purpose of school: education.

It's really not that hard to put together a mailing list. You should know your kids' friends' street addresses and phone numbers anyway, especially if you let them go over to their friends' houses to play. You can get other addresses from the school, the PTA, extracurricular activities your kids are involved in, or even the phone book or the internet.

Anyway, I digress. I don't have children of my own, but as a child I attended a few parties where a kid or two acted up. Birthday parties were usually held at places like McDonald's, a skating rink, a music place... rarely in the parents' house. Usually if a kid acted up, his parents (if present), the birthday child's parents, or a member of the staff tried to handle the situation. In the worst cases, they threatened to call the parents to take the kid home early. That worked wonders, especially if the cake hadn't been served yet! The birthday child and his parents knew who had acted up, and the hellion would usually not be invited to the kid's birthday party next year.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by carnation
However, they won't give parents a list of phone numbers so you can call the kids you want to come either. If you have an older child, they can get the list themselves but a younger child can't handle that.

That's funny.

By the time my niece finished kindergarten, she had a list of all her friends' phone numbers. My sister had enough contact with her friends' parents to get their phone numbers. I can understand schools' not wanting to distribute phone numbers as students can get a hold of them and harass their classmates; there is certainly a middle road, however.

[KillarneyRose]

When my girls attended private school, all the families were given a book with the names, addresses and phone numbers of all the families in the school. I thought that was commonplace these days, but when I put them in public school I found that wasn't the case.

The principal said they weren't allowed to give out that information, which I think is ridiculous.

Wrigley, I don't think that the schools are trying to fill the kids' social schedules with the "invite the whole class" policy. Rather, it's to keep children who aren't invited from feeling left out.

[33girl]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
Wrigley, I don't think that the schools are trying to fill the kids' social schedules with the "invite the whole class" policy. Rather, it's to keep children who aren't invited from feeling left out.

I agree. I would be upset if I had a child in school and someone handed out invites to only select children, even if my child was invited. It's bad enough that kids are singled out at recess or lunch, to condone it in the classroom would be irresponsible of the teacher. The only exception I can think of is a single-sex slumber party, and that should still include all the girls in the class.

carnation, If the mom was there I would have made her remove the child immediately. She's probably forcing him to be there, or else in denial about his behavioral problems - either way, you extended the hand in friendship but that does not mean you have to let her or hellchild stomp on it or that he should be allowed to ruin the good time for the other children.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I just returned from mass, and I sat behind a family of children who misbehaved. They were very young and very cute, but their parents wouldn't shush them and stop them.