Bigs and Littles

[Contessima]

Hey Everyone,
I need help!!! Our chapter was reinstated in 2002. Last year (my pledge year) was the first year that we had a real Big Sis/ Little Sis thing. This year, our VP Membership (who, I should add, has lots and lots of control problems. One rushee even told me she was uncertain about us because VP Membership seemed pretty "nazi" - her own word). Anyway, last year, they chose Littles. This year, VP Membership paired us up without discussing it.
I'm hurt and sad because I had picked out my Little. I tend to get overly enthusiastic about things (SAI tradition being one of them) and I thought I could give this girl just the boost she needed. I know that just because she won't be my "Little" doesn't mean I can't encourage her and have a connection with her, but I thought that the Big/Little Sis bond was really special. I know that the other girl I am paired with will be fabulous also, but I know that we don't have as much in common and I think a close bond would be pretty forced between us.
I e-mailed VP Membership to let her know that I didn't understand why we were doing it this way and that I had some concerns. I asked her is we could talk about it at our meeting tomorrow. However, most of what I have to go on is pretty idealistic stuff. Can anyone speak from experience about paired Big/Little versus picked Big/Little? I'd like to be able to talk about real experiences, even if they are internet ones.
Thanks for your help!!!
-Gwen
Gamma Eta

[gadget1026]

I was VP Membership in my chapter so I know that picking Littles is almost always a touchy subject. People create friendships with prospective members before Rush and they usually want their friend as their Little. In my chapter we usually ask the prospective members to write down about three actives they would like to have as Bigs (because it is important that Bigs/Littles get along). We take into consideration who the actives want as Littles and who the prospective members want as Bigs. You don't have this problem now, but as your chapter grows you'll need to consider family size and how close each tree is to dying.

I think that it is a good thing to get a Little that you might not know very well. The first time I got a Little I picked one that I really didn't know very well, but I knew that I would get along with. Now we're both very glad things went that way because we are very close friends. We both agree that we probably would not be as close friends if I hadn't picked her.

On the other hand, I have seen girls drop out before initiation because they just could not get along with their Big. So, I don't think that Littles should have just been assigned like that. Maybe you could attend the Exec Board Meeting and discuss it there, before you bring it up in the regular meeting and risk "calling out" you VP Membership in front of the entire group.

I hope this helps you. Good luck!

[Contessima]

Hey Melissa!
thanks for replying - our chapter is actually so small that nearly everyone (except for one girl and two or three others who are abroad) is on the executive board. Three other girls feel the same way that I do and in a group of eight... that's a good number. I think we all (in my line) just thought we were going to get to pick and so we were disappointed to have been "randomly" assigned. The meeting is tomorrow morning at 10:00 am but if anyone else wants to chare their experiences, I would love it!!!
-Gwen
Gamma Eta

[Contessima]

We got it all settled and everyone has the Little they wanted. Does anyone have fun suggestions to do with your Little? My pledge class sister and I were thinking of ours to this cute shop downtown to paint pottery. But I'd love to hear what you all do with yours!

[gadget1026]

I'm glad things worked out for your chapter!

With our Littles, my roommate and I would have "family tree parties". We would invite both of our families over an cook a rediculous amount of food. We would eat and play games...our favorite game was Loaded Question. It's a great way to get to know people.

[Contessima]

just wanted to brag about a great Big Little party I had with some sisters from my pledge class - it was right after midterms, the night before fall break so we all needed to de-stress.
My Mom sells MaryKay so I have one of those fabulous Satin Hands set (if you can afford it, buy it right now!) my roommate has a cute home manicure set and our friend bought a mini-fruit tray at Krogers (have you all seen those things? they're suprisingly yummy!) and some tortila chips and hummus and diet cokes. We did Satin Hands and gave each other manicures and painted our nails while we watched Sex and the City - Save the Last Dance happened to be on after that which was good because we were at it for more than an hour. It was definately a lot of fun and not too expensive since we already had most of the stuff.
Anyway, sorry about the run on sentances - post more stuff that you all do!