MSN Pet Peeves

[Lady Pi Phi]

I just received this in an email and I thought it was funny enough to share with everyone.
I'm sure we all know people like this, and I must admit I am guilty of one or two of them sometimes.

The "Away" Person -

This person is either saying "Hi I'm never here but I leave my MSN on
in the
hope that SOMEONE will message me while I'm out so I feel important" or
they're saying "I'm here but I only want to talk to a privledged few
people
while everyone else thinks I'm NOT here". To this person I ask:
Why are you a) so shallow or b) such a dick?

The "Away" Person part II-

This person signs in and immediately switches their status to "Away"
EVERY
time. To this person I ask: why do you sign into a chat program
designed to
talk to your friends only to walk away from your computer as soon as
you
sign in? Either you're incredibly retarded and entirely miss the
concept of
internet instant messaging or you are a huge asshole because you think
you
are too good to talk to anyone.

The "Busy" person -

This person has his/her status set to "Busy" more often than not and
when
you try to talk to them they either don't respond or tell you that
they're
"working on an essay/project/assignment" or whatever. To this person I
ask:
If you are too busy to talk on MSN then why are you signed in? The
function
of MSN IS TO CHAT with your friends....there is no other excuse to have
it
on because it serves no other purpose....so what you're really saying
is not
that you are "too busy to talk" it's that you are "too busy to talk to
ME or
anyone else but a select few people who you deem privledged
enough"...otherwise you'd shut it off so that you could do your work.
If
that's the case then tell me and I'll understand which is much better
than
the incinuation that you think I'm too retarded to see that you have a
"cool
list" that I'm apparently not on.

The "Multiple sign inner" -

This person signs in ever two seconds because of computer difficulties.
GET
IT FIXED...it's fucking annoying.

The "Frequent Name Changer" -

I can see changing your n ame to something cool when you hear it or
when
something truly cool happens to you; but when every three minutes
you're
changing your name during every song you hear on your 500 song Winamp
playlist to some "deep" lyric is also really fucking annoying

The "Chronic Complainer" -

If you escape death in a car wreck, or overcome some scary disease or
have a
wicked story then I probably want to hear about it. If you have too
much
homework and the sniffles and change your MSN name to whatever daily
complaint you have, you can go fuck yourself. If it's winter in Canada
it
is likely that A LOT of people are sick and most with worse shit than
you're
complaining about. People with cancer would give their right arms to
have
whatever you're bitching about instead of what they have....and if you
go to
school and you have too much work or just pulled and all nighter, BIG
FUCKING DEAL...EVERYONE has homework and EVERYONE has had to do an all
nighter at some point . These people I also call "Sympathy Fishermen"
because they complain about everything so someone will say "ooh you
poor
thing how DO you mange to get by?". SUCK IT UP. The only people I'd
ask
that question to are people fighting cancer or starvation in 3rd world
countries or kids who get every limb blown off by bombs in war torn
countries; NOT you and your curable ailment...fuckin pussy

The "Vanishing Person" -

This complaint is NA if the person is drunk or stoned. If you talk to
someone who is drunk and stoned this is to be expected...this person
gets up
from their computer in mid conversation and forgets about you....to
this
person I say: Get some manners and at least end the conversation or
tell
them that you will be back...I mean this is like putting the phone down
in
mid conversation and going to take a shit without saying anything.
Where
did you people grow up?

The "Grammar Police" -

This person feels the need to n ot only correct each spelling mistake
they
make but to make fun of yours as well....fuck I didn't realize I was
writing an essay here, if you know what I mean then stop being a first
class
loser and grow the fuck up. If you feel like correcting every errant
letter
you write that's your perogative but holy shit calm the fuck down when
I do
it.

This is all I can think of tonight but others include people who use
way too
many abbreviations. Like, ttyl, lol, and lmfao are legit but when you
start
getting into shit like hsiadaf to say "holy shit I am as drunk as fuck"
and
expect people to know what you're saying you're just weird....anyway, i
started this but I bet it's nowhere near finished so feel free to add
to it
and send it off....

Chris O'Neil
University Of Ottawa