Southern Shopping

[AGDLynn]

New to the South? These shopping options may be new to you
By Bric Barker
Published: Wednesday, March 10, 2004 The West Georgian
(State Univ of West Georgia.
Southerners have a unique perspective when it comes to shopping. We are not afraid to own somebody else's junk. One man's refuse is another man's knick-knack. No matter the economic bracket in which a consumer may reside, money can be saved if you simply know the shopping breakdown:

Estate sale: The fancy term used by people who want to sell the junk left behind by a departed loved one. If the family isn't arguing over who gets it, why would I want it? Of course, most families have no idea of the value of things like first edition books, those funny blue dishes from the Depression, or those old Superman comics. No, they are too busy arguing over whether grandpa's Mistletoe Beanie Baby has been retired yet or not. Estate sales are a great place to browse for the true occasional overlooked treasure.

Garage sale: I need to say that, etymologically speaking, the word garage is only one letter away from being garBage. Coincidence? I think not. Expect a lot of old clothes the Salvation Army would reject. If you are costuming a period piece for your community theatre, this is where you need to be. Broken appliances, mixers, hot-air poppers, hair dryers, etc. Stop here onlybriefly before hitting the landfill. I am constantly amazed at what people will buy for a nickel.

Yard sale: Same as a garage sale without the class of an actual garage in case of inclement weather. You've seen the yards full of rope strung from tree to tree laboring under the behemoth weight of plaid western shirts with snaps. If you're lucky, you can escape the macram plant holder jungle. Short on cash? You may be able to get that broken curling iron for mere pennies!

Antique stores: Where the sophisticated shopper purchases his junk. True collectors of antiques love to browse through these quaint stores, patiently deciding for themselves if the story about each piece is worth the exorbitant amount the dealer is asking because that's really why we buy antiques: to tell the stories to our friends. "Oh that? Yes, George Washington's second cousin's maid's daughter sat in that chair!" Price of the story: $250. Actual worth: firewood.

Flea market: If you want colorful stories to go with each item at a reasonable price, flea markets are the place to shop. I once bought a Pez dispenser (broken) because the dealer assured me it was used in a drive-by shooting. The great thing--it still only cost me a quarter. The scary thing about shopping at flea markets is being seen shopping at a flea market. You can justify being seen at a yard sale because that's an impulse shopping choice. You drive by, you see the paper sign hammered into the front yard on that wooden stick, and your curiosity gets the better of you. You want to be a voyeur into the seller's life. No matter if your life stinks, it all seems better knowing that you never bought an Inside the Egg Shell Egg Scrambler! Flea market shopping implies a conscious decision to buy junk, but what wonderful junk it is! The only thing to really question is the legal status of some of the bargains.

Swap meets: For the truly thrifty and adventurous. A no-win situation for most. Yes, you get rid of that hideous deer-leg lamp that's been gracing the dark corners of your basement and scaring the kids for years, but you'll end up coming home with a Commondore computer keyboard missing the letters M and A. Do not lose hope - I've actually seen commemorative Elvis plates to be had.

With technology came improvements. Now the discriminating Southern shopper may purchase junk from the comfort and privacy of their own home thanks to eBay and the Home Shopping Network.

For anyone interested, I've got a Pez dispenser used in a drive-by.

http://www.thewestgeorgian.com/news/...ml?mkey=627408