Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for Southern California

[MareImbrium]

This is something silly for those who are familiar with the areas in California. Some of these are funny!


Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Barbie dolls for the Southern California market:

Irvine Barbie This princess Barbie is only sold at The Irvine Spectrum. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie- cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version only.

Tustin Barbie This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included. Headset sold separately.

Van Nuys Barbie This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit.! This model is only available after dark and canonly be paid for in cash, preferably in small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop; then, we don't know what you're talking about!

Santa Monica Barbie This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Fontana Barbie This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans, two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her
pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.

Newport Beach Barbie This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print bikinioutfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available.

Riverside Barbie This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.

Laguna Beach Barbie This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long, straight, brown hair, arch less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two Laguna Beach Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Long Beach Barbie This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and buspass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Rancho Santa Margarita Barbie She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away working.

City of Industry Barbie This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for City of Industry Barbie or Ken.

West Hollywood Barbie/Ken This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.