Unwanted...twice!!!

dnagirlatsiuc · #1 11-14-2003, 05:59 PM

hi, im kinda new to the post. i just wanted to rant and let my story be heard, and maybe, get advice back.

see, im a second year student at southern illinois university. i tryed rushing in fall 02 and fall 03, and was rejected the night of bids. i felt so unwanted. i just dont know what i did wrong. i didnt insult any sister. i didnt talk about anything gross or sad or polital. i dressed in nice simi-casual skirts, and showd no cleaviage. i dont know what i did wrong. the sororitys here are alpha gamma delta, tri-sigma, delta zeta, and sigma kappa. how can i show these girls the real me? should i even try again? Any tips?

thanks for your time

Amalia17 · #2 11-14-2003, 06:05 PM

*

kddani · #3 11-14-2003, 08:26 PM

It's really hard to give you specific advice. We don't know you, on here or in real life. We don't know the sororities. We don't know why you were cut (no one but the members of those sororities do). It could be a million things- grades, lack of activities, being quiet, or having a booger in your nose throughout all of recruitment (just trying to be lighthearted

) Or maybe there were just a lot of fantastic girls rushing- they may have liked you, but maybe you didn't stand out. Maybe you didn't fill a "need" of the house (some groups use needs as a rush indicator- say they need better grades in the house, or more social people, etc.). No one knows, it's all conjecture.

My best advice would be to try to get to know some of the girls in the houses outside of the rush atmosphere and see where to go from there.

mmcat · #4 11-14-2003, 08:34 PM

calming down is also a good thing...
since you'll never know exactly what happened, you can't wear your disappointment and expect good things to happen.

smiley21 · #5 11-14-2003, 09:46 PM

hey. i have gone though formal recruitment once and went through c.o.b three times for two sororities on campus. it is not easy being rejected. it doesnt always have to be cause they didnt like you. there could be other reasons that we dont realize. it's that kind mentality that makes me want to try again in the spring. if it is something that you really want, few things will stand in your way.

SparkliiQTMTSU · #6 11-15-2003, 12:13 AM

It can get frustrating but I promise that you just need to keep your head up and be yourself

Im sure theres a place out there for you, those times just might not have been right. Im going to be rushing a 3rd time and as they say 3rd times the charm!!!

Nichole

SuzyQ18 · #7 11-15-2003, 09:55 PM

I went through formal this fall and COB and was also rejected. I don't know why either. I does suck! I was just gonna give up, but I really want to be in a sorority, so I will be trying again in the spring. I know I am quiet, not shy, just quiet when I am in new surroundings, before I get comfortable. Anyway, I say, Try Again!!

33girl · #8 11-16-2003, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dnagirlatsiuc
hi, im kinda new to the post. i just wanted to rant and let my story be heard, and maybe, get advice back.

see, im a second year student at southern illinois university. i tryed rushing in fall 02 and fall 03, and was rejected the night of bids. i felt so unwanted. i just dont know what i did wrong. i didnt insult any sister. i didnt talk about anything gross or sad or polital. i dressed in nice simi-casual skirts, and showd no cleaviage. i dont know what i did wrong. the sororitys here are alpha gamma delta, tri-sigma, delta zeta, and sigma kappa. how can i show these girls the real me? should i even try again? Any tips?

thanks for your time

Firstly I know 90% of the people on here will call me a bitch, but your speech and writing is also something sororities look at when considering members. Please, please use spell-check!!

It seems like you are talking more about the things you DIDN'T do rather than the things you DID do. You have to stand out in some way at rush...sororities will not give you a bid if you simply follow the social graces and try not to offend anyone. Try working on your conversational skills, if you feel that is an area where you might be lacking.

Of course none of us can say exactly why you weren't given a bid. If you want to try again that is up to you...as Danielle said, try to get to know some of the girls outside of rush and keep your eye out for any signs or fliers advertising open bid parties.

GeekyPenguin · #9 11-16-2003, 10:35 PM

Perhaps you should talk to the VP-Recruitment for Panhellenic and the Greek advisor at SIU (which one are you at?) to get an idea of what may of happened. The chapters may have cut you because of grades, because you didn't talk enough during parties, for a variety of reasons. Talking to those people would give you an idea of what may have happened, and the VP of Recruitment can also let sorority chapters know that you are interested in COBing.

NewBee · #10 11-16-2003, 11:49 PM

Well, I am used to go to SIUC. I am sorry you feel so rejected but keep your head up. I believe there are locals on at SIU that offer a great sense of sisterhood. I know that there are some Multicultural sororities that you may want to look at. Be open minded. And also assess your reasons for wanted to join a sorority, you need to find yourself before you can belong to a whole...

AlphaPhiBubbles · #11 11-17-2003, 12:43 AM

Everyone on here has given good advice for what they can, I mean given no one knows you. So did you just not receive a bid from any sorority? How big is rush at your school, how big are the chapters? Did you ever consider local organizations or is joining a national really important to you?

AMelie03 · #12 11-17-2003, 03:58 AM

call the house...because that puts that house in an uncomfortable position if you ask them "why didn't i get a bid?" or "what can i do to make you want me?" like someone said earlier...maybe you just didn't stand out. I don't mean it in a bad way...but when i went through rush this summer there were over 800 girls rushing, and if you didn't have something that was like *ohh we want her* then it may be tougher to get noticed. I would say to try open rush. I hear that open rush isn't as hectic and you get to know each house better!

Jill1228 · #13 11-17-2003, 05:13 AM

HIJACK!
I am one of the 10% that would NOT think you are a bitch! I so agree on the spellcheck thing
/end hijack

As far as wanting to join A sorority...just make sure you are joining for the right reasons.

Also, you just doing join ANY sorority, you join the one that feels like home for you!

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
Firstly I know 90% of the people on here will call me a bitch, but your speech and writing is also something sororities look at when considering members. Please, please use spell-check!!

USChica06 · #14 11-17-2003, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AMelie03
call the house...because that puts that house in an uncomfortable position if you ask them "why didn't i get a bid?" or "what can i do to make you want me?" like someone said earlier...maybe you just didn't stand out. I don't mean it in a bad way...but when i went through rush this summer there were over 800 girls rushing, and if you didn't have something that was like *ohh we want her* then it may be tougher to get noticed. I would say to try open rush. I hear that open rush isn't as hectic and you get to know each house better!

I agree. I definitely wouldn't take the "what did i do wrong" approach thing. Perhaps, email or call, and let each house know that your recruitment didn't work out this time, but you are still interested! Short and sweet.

TriDeltaGal · #15 11-23-2003, 03:03 PM

I don't know if I agree if the "What did I do wrong" email approach. I know if my chapter received an email from a girl specifically asking why she was cut, we would be a little put off and I'm sure others will agree with me. I definitely agree with emailing the chapters but just stating that you rushed in formal and unforunately didn't find a home but is still interested in their house and would love to know if they will be having an rush events soon. Short and sweet...not looking at the negatives of being cut but showing that you are still interested in rushing and sorority life.

Good Luck!