me, myself, and my one friend

smiley21 · #1 10-05-2003, 07:03 PM

i was just wondering if anyone else is like me. i am the type of person that throws herself 100% into one relationship. i consider myself to be very giving and devoted to the person i am close to. because i am like this, i can only truly have one relationship at a time. i cant deal with too many people on a personal level. its too overwhelming. and that one relationship is with my on/off again bf. so that means i dont have any girlfriends. i would like to have a female to hang out with. but i am afraid that will cut me off completely with my bf because i like to have all of my attention on one relationship. when i am at school, it is me against the rest of the students. i dont really talk to anyone and i dont try to. i just go to school to do my work then i go straight home. i live five min. away so i go home between classes. i dont want to hang around on campus. if i do talk to someone, it is really impersonal. i am not really complaining cause i prefer it this way. relationships are way too draining. i can only handle one at a time. seriously speaking, i think there is something very superficial about groups of people hanging out together. they may be very close to each other, but i cant see how it could be really personal. i know i could not handle it. i know that you guys do in your GLOs and i think that is great.... but i am going to stick with myself and my ONE friend.

is there anyone like me?

bethany1982 · #2 10-05-2003, 07:26 PM

I think there are many levels of friendship. I enjoy the company of all (ok, most of my sisters). My closest friend is not a sister or even Greek. A friendship is not necessarily superficial simply because it lacks intimacy. To me, all that matters here is that you are comfortable with your approach to friendship.

Shine · #3 10-05-2003, 07:33 PM

I'm the same way.

Lady Pi Phi · #4 10-05-2003, 09:39 PM

I had a friend who was like you. She put all her efforts into one relationship at the time. I am not like that, and I find it hard to be friends with people who are. I am very loyal to all my friends. I won't be able to give 100% of my time to one person, but I will give you what I can.
I lost my friendship with my girlfriend who was like you. She would meet someone new and ditch all her other friends (I had been friends with her for many years) to focus all her energy on person. When she got bored of that person she would come back to her old "safety" friends until she found someone new. It got to the point where I could no longer be friends with her because when I need her she didn't have time for me.
Now I'm not saying you're like that. I don't know you. I think what I am trying to say, is focus your energy on a new relationship, but please don't forget the ones who came before who still care about you.

Imthachamp · #5 10-05-2003, 09:41 PM

i dont really bother getting into relationships with females right now. i really dont think they are worth the time and effort. they are always asking for your time and money and all that crap.

absolutuscchick · #6 10-05-2003, 11:26 PM

I can be like that....lately I have been but I dont like it....I just dont have good enough friends at ASU yet.

Hootie · #7 10-05-2003, 11:52 PM

I had that sort of relationship with a boyfriend in high school. It affected my friendship with my best friend and we sorta stopped haning out until she made contact with me 6 months later!

Then she started dating a guy, who she is now engaged to...and ironically she has done for the four years now the same thing I did in high school. She controls her fiancee's time, she only calls me when he is busy, and she stopped doing the things she loved to hang with him 24/7. Now, don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy. But he just enlisted in the air force and isn't living anywhere close to here right now. She's planning the wedding but funny...we haven't spoken really in two months, and haven't actually HUNG OUT since January. She quit school so close to graduation because she wouldn't be done before they marry next summer. And she can't imagine being newly-weds seperated for 4 months.

I just see her as having lost her identity and living in a fantasy world now. I think she's never grown up in her own way, and gotten to know what it is she really wants. And honestly they have such issues that if it weren't for the fact that they spend 24/7 together they would have broken up a long time ago (and in my opinion probably should have).

Sorry to have ranted, but I think throwing yourself into a relationship is one thing...but to lose all ties is another (and not a good thing).

Lil' Hannah · #8 10-06-2003, 12:24 AM

I'm like this a bit. Not necessarily with friends, but when I have a boyfriend unfortunately I tend to ignore the girlfriends. It was really bad with my last boyfriend. I was always at his place, always with his friends, etc. My roommates gave me a hard time about it and I realized that I was being a bad friend to them, but I wasn't really willing to change. That guy gave me my walking papers about a month ago, and lucky for me the girls took me back and didn't give me any grief for just coming back into things like nothing happened. I do realize though that I need to stop doing such things because they won't always take me back...

JohnsDGsweethrt · #9 10-06-2003, 08:30 AM

I had a girlfriend like this and it about drove me up the wall. According to her we always had to be together. Its like we were dating or something. We are no longer friends now. On a happy note I feel like I have several close friends. They were all my bridesmaids and I had 7. I could tell you all the stuff about them that close, personal friends share. My maid of honor is still my best friend behind my husband. So I think it is possible to have several friends and be pretty close to them all

honeychile · #10 10-06-2003, 08:52 AM

I tend to have good acquaintances, but only a few good friends. I firmly believe in the saying that a good friend will hate your enemy, but your best friend will help you hide the body.

I often wonder if this is unhealthy, because the one time I lost that good friend (my fault), it was worse than going through my divorce.

smiley21 · #11 10-06-2003, 09:22 AM

Quote:

[i]I think what I am trying to say, is focus your energy on a new relationship, but please don't forget the ones who came before who still care about you. [/B]

there is no one else before this relationship. my former best friend got married and totally changed so she forgot about me. so i dont care what she does anymore. so there is no one else for me to forget about. i am talking about the present moment. for about two years i havent wanted to be friends with anyone else.
it is just too complicated for me to be with more than one person. i know it has a lot of downfalls like overexposure, but all of the bad things isnt enough for me to change.