Broken Engagement?

[honeychile]

Has anyone either broken their engagement, or had their fiance break it?

I've recently had some doubts, which intensified this weekend. I probably shouldn't say any more just now (other than there's no one else in the picture for either of us, and we've been engaged almost 2 years).

I guess I'm looking for feedback because I honestly don't know anyone who's broken off their engagement (but know a LOT of people who've been divorced!).

Anyone care to share?

[swissmiss04]

One of my sorority sisters broke off her engagement a few months ago. She'd been w/ the guy I think over 2 years. I for one feel it was a good thing because a couple of weeks ago the guy got indicted for 2nd degree rape. My philosophy is , "Better a broken engagement than a broken home." If you have any doubts now is the best time to act on them. It's hard. Damn hard. And I so feel for you. It'll be one of the hardest things you do, but in the end it's by far the best thing you'll ever do.

[Tom Earp]

Yep, knocked Da Broad off of Bar Stool! Well got kicked our of Fraternity! No sense oif humor! Started my own! Married for 2 years and 20 days!

Divorced for almost 18 years!

S**T Happens!

Still a Brother!

[AOII_LB93]

Have you guys thought about pre-marital counseling? Are you past that point? I guess what it comes down to is, is it just you having the doubts or is it the both of you? As tough as it may be the best thing to do would be to talk it through wit Mr. Man, and figure out where you are both coming from.

I've had two friends break off engagements, and it's been for the better in both cases, but both did the counseling thing first. Just an idea.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by AOII_LB93
Have you guys thought about pre-marital counseling? Are you past that point? I guess what it comes down to is, is it just you having the doubts or is it the both of you? As tough as it may be the best thing to do would be to talk it through wit Mr. Man, and figure out where you are both coming from.

I've had two friends break off engagements, and it's been for the better in both cases, but both did the counseling thing first. Just an idea.

I have been pushing premarital counseling for the past year. I've been divorced once, and my pastor won't marry anyone without it. At this point, it can only do us good.

But thank you SO MUCH for reminding me! I'm going to talk to him later, and I will definitely bring that up (yet again)!

[deltaphi94]

I've been through a broken engagement. You're the only one who can decide wha t's best for you, but it is definitely not easy. If you want to talk, you're welcome to PM me.

[MoxieGrrl]

I broke off an engagement three years ago. Although I knew that I didn't want to be with him anymore, it was still difficult to hurt someone like that. Pre-marital counseling sounds like a good idea, and I'm glad that you are considering it. Mr. Mox and I had to go to it (Engaged Encounter, a Catholic thing), and it was wonderful.

honeychile - I'm sorry that you are going through difficult times. PM me if you want to talk.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by swissmiss04
One of my sorority sisters broke off her engagement a few months ago. She'd been w/ the guy I think over 2 years. I for one feel it was a good thing because a couple of weeks ago the guy got indicted for 2nd degree rape. My philosophy is , "Better a broken engagement than a broken home." If you have any doubts now is the best time to act on them. It's hard. Damn hard. And I so feel for you. It'll be one of the hardest things you do, but in the end it's by far the best thing you'll ever do.

WHOA! Your sorority sister dodged one heck of a bullet!

Honeychile...I'm putting you on my prayer list.

[honeychile]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the prayers and good wishes! I was praying all night as I waited for him to call.

I told him that he needed to get his priorities straight, and I need to know where I stand in that list. I am not going to have more than three (Jesus - we're both believers) in our marriage. And I must come before the Fire, the White Sox, the Bulls, ESPN, whatever concert is in town, etc, etc.

I also said that counseling was NOT optional, and that I see no further talking about anything until we sit down with the pastor.

He is agreeable to all of this (and more that I mentioned), but I'm not 100% sure if he's just avoiding an arguement. He knows that we WILL discuss this further this weekend, when he's in town. See, this has been long distance, which is not helping any, either. (that could be a whole 'nuther thread!)

So! I covet your prayers, since this will be a big decision, and I need to be led to the right decision for the two of us. God bless each of you who have been so willing to come alongside me tonight. The final decision will be well thought out with pray.

Many, many thanks!

[MTSUGURL]

My heart is breaking for you. Go buy the book Love Languages. Buy two copies - I've know this book to be used in premarital counseling for several good friends, my brother, and I've read it as well. I've b roken an engagement before because the guy wouldn't hold a job and showed signs of being abusive, and the aftermath of that was still awful, but it's so much better than if I had married the guy. If you love this guy, are committed to him, and it's a prioritizing issue, this can be solved. My advice is to pray continuously, not take over spiritual leadership (even if he is not stepping up to the plate), and go for the counseling. I definitely agree with "better a broken engagement than a broken home". If you can get issues and priorities right now, and be happy with the man that you've chosen, praise God! You're in my prayers!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

honeychile, I have never been in your position, but I just want you to know that I am sending you some good thoughts and well wishes from New York. I think that counseling with your pastor will help you reach the conclusion that is right for you.

Honeychile, I can't say much more above what was already said, but I have broken off an engagement in the past. It was the best decision at the time, and I'm now engaged to a wonderful man who I'm going to marry come Hell or high water.

I will second, third, or fourth all of the above recommendations. It sounds like the two of you have good lines of communication and talking things over with your pastor is a great next step. Whatever your decision may be, feel free to PM me if you want to talk, and know that all of GC will stand behind you in whatever decision you make.

God bless.

[aephi alum]

I'm so sorry you're going through difficult times. Take care.