How do you feel when a sorority/fraternity cancels a mixer?

annice22 · #1 12-02-2002, 04:22 PM

How do you feel when a sorority/fraternity cancels a mixer or a pre-bar with you? I just had to cancel our pre-bar that we had with a fraternity for this thursday (because of a lot of the sisters are having really busy schedules) and I feel really bad. I was thinking getting them a card or sending a letter signed by all the girls from the sorority saying sorry or something like that.

I asked the question because I wanted to know if you take the cancellation personally or just forget about it and still have mixers with the fraternity or sorority.

Thanks
Annice
Phi Sigma Sigma

UofIL AXO · #2 12-02-2002, 04:42 PM

I think unfortunately the men will be upset. But I'm sure by the next semester (quarter, term, etc) things will be smoothed over. We've had events cancelled on us which was sad but in general I think the girls were more disappointed that we couldn't do anything not mad at the fraternity. If an event was re-scheduled for later, everything was forgotten.
This semester we had to cancel an event which resulted in the fraternity being extremely upset with us. I think it was a good lesson, however, for the girls that exhibited the same behavior when events had been cancelled on us. We learned a little humility and understanding.

meliss · #3 12-02-2002, 07:02 PM

I think that'd be really sweet if you sent them a card/ letter.

pirepresent · #4 12-02-2002, 08:43 PM

i definetly think it was nice of you to at least cancel in advance when you know people won't come -- we had one event where something big and kind of dramatic came up in the house, and everyone was either too stressed or forgot the prebar except for like, 10 girls. it was a really embarrassing showing, because usually we get almost all of our girls to come to social events. we all felt so bad later, and we sent them a card and i think someone threw in some flowers, just to try to fix the damage.

i think the boys were kind of mad, but once they knew we were really sorry, they felt better and still want to do stuff with us next semester.

33girl · #5 12-02-2002, 09:48 PM

The card signed by all the sisters sounds like a great idea - and make sure you mention that you would like to reschedule before end of semester (if that's possible). I'm sure they will be thankful you let them know in advance before they got things set up.

One of the sororities (when I was at school) was notorious for cancelling mixers with the less-popular fraternities at the last minute if they got a "better" offer.

ThetokenCanuck · #6 12-03-2002, 12:46 PM

Hey,

as long as its for a geniune reason they should understand. I am social and a certain fraternity with the initials S.P keeps cancelling on us for other sororities and THAT hurts. They have tried to make it up to us by giving us ribbons for against violence to women..that was sweet. Try making it up to them by showing up in full force to one of their events. Or one fraternity sent us a jar of jellybeans with our letters engraved on the jar. Something like that is thoughtful and goes a long way.

Good luck!

White_Chocolate · #7 12-12-2002, 01:57 PM

i would definitely find some way to do the mixer though. if you cancel, sorry to bring in reality, the guys get upset and that could start the 'why even bother, they'll cancel again.'
throw together a random date night with them. it doesn't have to be an organized mixer. one day, go to their house or have them meet you somewhere and kidnap them. . .take them to dinner. our sorority wasn't paying attention to one fraternity. . .so a 'operation: tuna takeover' was invented. basically, we met at school because we were in 'serious trouble' and guys came with blindfolds, carried us outside, and had a picnic lunch with us. a cute gesture that showed some caring and we paid attention.

oceanphi01 · #8 12-30-2002, 11:01 PM

This has happened to us several times this past semester and it really upset us. The only thing that I can think of doing is to give the fraternity you missed the mixer with specific dates that they can use and if they say yes to a date and then change their mind a week beforehand then its their fault. Like I said, this happened to us this semester.

#9 12-30-2002, 11:05 PM

yeh, we fealt really bad when DPhiE cancelled a mixer with us, an' then pretended like it was nothing big, and didn't bother tryin' a reschedule. we just said "eh, NEXT" and didn't do stuff with them again

serves them right

dzgirl0702 · #10 12-31-2002, 11:19 PM

I think it is understandable as to why you canceled. I think you should send them a card and see if there is any way possible to reschedule, I know that is really hard to do. Atleast you canceled and didn't go through with and none of your girls showed up, that would have been worse.

Alyson

Kevin · #11 01-01-2003, 11:20 AM

I doubt that they really will care a lot... So long as it's not a regular thing.