Hi everyone! Quick background story first:
I rushed as a sophomore at a university with a very large Greek system. My school only has fall rush (with extremely rare exceptions). As a freshman, I wanted to give myself time to "get used to" campus life first before rushing, and would have rushed in spring had it been an option. I also wanted more time to think over the financial and time commitment. I actually rushed round 1 as a freshman to get a feel for each house, then dropped before hearing back from any houses, with the intent of rushing again as a sophomore.
So, sophomore fall comes around and I rushed again, this time with the intent of joining a chapter. I had rec letters for 2 or 3 houses (which all asked me back in round 2). By this point I also felt more financially secure since I had earned additional scholarships, which I noted in my rush application. My GPA was solid, I had a rough freshman fall but brought everything back up in the spring. Because of the rough fall semester, my campus involvement wasn't where I wanted it to be, but I was fairly active in a few clubs (with one minor leadership role) and an honor society. Personally, however, I was going through an awkward time because I realized the friends I had made in freshman fall had mismatched values and that we didn't really get along, so I dropped those friendships and decided I wanted to start over. (None of those friends were Greek or had close friends in the Greek system.) I made new friends in the spring and it all worked out, but I still longed to meet my "best friends" on campus, and felt somewhat lonely.
Anyway, round 2 comes around and I only had a few houses, but as a sophomore this wasn't totally unusual, and they were houses I really liked (including one I LOVED) so I was cool with it. In round 2 I ended up bringing up the above story about my freshman year friends which was probably an awkward move in hindsight lol, but otherwise my rounds were fine. The one notable exception was that I was given a somewhat awkward matchup in my "favorite" house. She laughed at my jokes and seemed to be having a good time, until I made a pop culture reference that she basically dismissed as being childish (it wasn't anything inappropriate, it had to do with a funny moment from a childhood show that today is really popular in memes). But aside from this, and the one other house where I brought up the freshman year friendship story, I felt pretty good at the end of round 2.
The next morning, I get a phone call saying I was released from recruitment. My counselors met up with me at lunch that day (so sweet!!!!) and were honestly SHOCKED because they saw I was very mature and level-headed, and had a lot of potential and desire to get involved on campus. Even the head counselor, who remembered me from when I rushed freshman year, was confused and honestly kind of upset because she thought I would've been a solid fit for the Greek system.
Of course at this point I was extremely emotional and didn't understand why I was released, especially because (as I learned over time) it's pretty rare at my school. Out of over a thousand girls doing recruitment each year, if we don't count girls who voluntarily drop (like I did freshman year), less than 10% are released. I don't have an exact number but I remember calculating an estimate once (based on how many rushed vs. how many got bids) and it definitely had to be less than 10%, if not much lower than this. I also go to a school where most sophomores who rush get bids, and even some juniors.
Anyway, this was a few years ago. I'm a senior now, and things worked out beautifully: I got very involved on campus, including a very large organization (which I won't name for privacy, but I'll say I did a lot with it and I'm thrilled with the difference I was able to make through that). I made friends through another (non-Greek) organization that really reflected my values, one of my friends from freshman spring inspired me to get involved with it and today I have many friends including the "college best friends" I always longed for. (One of my best friends now is actually in that "favorite" sorority, it's kind of ironic too because had I gotten in we would've been in the same PC.) And academically I'm doing great. In fact, by the time junior year fall came around I didn't have a desire to rush anymore.
However, here's why I'm posting: Despite my success outside of the Greek system, a part of me still wonders why I was released from recruitment. I'm not and was never concerned with tiers, etc. what I don't understand is why I was cut from ALL the houses by round 3 including some that I felt I clicked with pretty strongly. These feelings came up again recently because I was talking with a younger friend as she was going through the recruitment process herself.
I don't really "regret" not having done Greek life (not that I had the choice) (and my bank account is definitely glad lol, especially because I'm now planning to use my savings toward grad school!). But a part of me still feels like there's something kind of... missing, I guess? Even though I have best friends, we're all crazy busy and so on, and I never really found someone who'd be willing to just grab ice cream on a whim, text me inside jokes and silly Snapchats, or take a road trip somewhere on a weekend off. And I feel like Greek life, especially the chapters I wanted/felt I clicked with, tends to have girls who are into things like this. I love my friends but I still wish I had someone who was into those things, most of my friends don't really seem to be. As someone about to graduate I don't feel there's anything lacking in terms of my campus involvement or broader social circles at this point, and there's no way for me to get involved in Greek life now nor do I desire to at the stage I'm in. I know it's not going to matter at all in the "real world" and that I'll do totally fine in life. But still, I wonder...
I especially have wondered why my "favorite" house cut me. Not because "oh this house was so popular and the girls are so pretty" no. I generally get along with the girls I know from that house, like I said even one of my best friends is in that house, and to this day people are still surprised when they hear that I'm not a member of that sorority - let alone that I was dropped. I don't understand what's so different about my personality than most of the other girls there, not that I think I would've been besties with *everyone* but I could see where I would've fit. But when you add to this that I was also cut from ALL of the other houses, it stings further. It's still hard for me to fully believe that they didn't think something was glaringly "wrong" with me
even though I now have friends who love me and who I get along great with.
I still wish they had emphasized more during recruitment that some of us would end up finding our "forever home" outside of the Greek system entirely - and that if we were to get cut across the board, it means nothing about our worth. My counselors did a fantastic job with this, but it definitely wasn't something that recruitment as a whole ever really brought up. But I guess it's not such a big deal when it happens to less than 10% of the girls who rush...
Anyone have any insight? Obviously I know I can never find out exactly why I was cut, but this has been subtly bugging me ever since, even years later
Still questioning release from recruitment years later
Threaded Mode
