A real Mom's advice

[justamom]

Let me preface this by saying, my daughter told me about this site. I have read through the posts of the past year. Barbara, you are to be commended on the excellent job you are doing as well as the other members who give their advice and guidance.
My daughter will be rushing at one of the "hot topic" schools and this is what I am telling her. I believe the most critical decision will be after the second round. I have told her to consider wisely the groups she chooses to return to. From our city alone, we have several legacies to two houses. It may be one of those "great legacies" years. These girls are indeed convinced their acceptance is a given. They are all really nice girls so I tend to agree considering the emphasis placed on legacies.
I have told her to be as aware as possible of the sheer number of legacies to any sorority when making her decision. I also believe that she will be able to identify those that have mental pledge lists in their minds. To put it bluntly, it's a trim around all the edges philosophy. I did not experience such a competitive rush. Greeks at that time were not appreciated. This is why the idea that even a possibility exists of being invited to 3 prefs yet receiving no bid is disheartening. The sororities on campus are basically strong and filled with wonderful girls. To decline a troubled sorority or a power house or two that doesn't make her feel wanted would not impact her happiness in the least. Being a part of the Greek system is what matters to her. She's almost a professional volunteer!
I have composed a letter for her including the best bits of advice from you,the actives. I will say, some of it could be considered too candid. The one area I can't seem to recall had to do with how a girl could tell if a sorority was really interested in her. By this I mean beyond the realm of "Oh so nice to meet you." One tip said to take note if you're the first out the door and who you are introduced to. I would like to include some to remind her to cut through the emotion of the songs and skits and recognize who really sees her as a sister.
Thank you again for the information you have shared.