After recently realizing that I have been in love with my best friend for years.....

SATX*APhi · #1 07-31-2002, 11:30 PM

He tells me that he is gay!

I don't know what to feel. He kept wanting to talk about his "gayness" and such, but I couldn't get myself to talk about it. It wasn't so much about him being gay, rather the fact that I recently realized that I am in love with him.

Sorry, just had to let it out. Of course I can't tell any of my friends or anything b/c he isn't "openly" gay. Ahhhhh.......

librasoul22 · #2 07-31-2002, 11:38 PM

OUCH!!!

I know this sucks, but there is something positive that can come from it. Gay men are the best friends to have. You can flirt, cuddle, talk, whatever without them forever trying to have sex with you. My best friend is gay too, and he and I are inseparable.

Good luck...

dzsaigirl · #3 07-31-2002, 11:41 PM

Did you tell him how you feel? That has to be pretty confusing for the both of you, but I am sure that just like he trusts you in telling that he is gay, you should be able to trust him enough to openly discuss how you are feeling at the same time.

I won't lie...that sucks big time. I am so sorry. At least you still have your friendship though and you can get through this together as friends.

Star Turtle · #4 07-31-2002, 11:44 PM

I know it sucks SUPER bad right now - but this is the most amazing friendship you will ever have - my best friend (and the love of my life) is gay, and i only love him more! His fiance is amazing, it's like a little blonde boy version of me! I couldn't ask for a better friend - no matter what he's my friend first. Never will sex get in the way or cause problems between us. I was heartbroken when I first found out - but as soon as I realized that I will forever be friends with him - I quickly became his biggest defender for the rejects in our area who are stupid enough to act like dorks when they found out.

I know it's tough right now, cause of the emotions involved, but you'll love this friendship!

Honey77484 · #5 07-31-2002, 11:45 PM

Oh sweetie, I feel for you. I went through a similar situation not so long ago. I still feel like I haven't loved anyone like I loved (love?) him, but he's not gay, he has a girlfriend. Sigh. Anyway, the only advice I can give is not to make yourself too crazy thinking about it. Distract yourself by hanging out with other friends. I don't know, I'm still getting over it myself so unfortunately I can't tell you what to do or I'd be doing it myself! Good luck!

ZTABullwinkle · #6 07-31-2002, 11:57 PM

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am also in love with one of my bestest friends, but he has a long-term girlfriend. He knows how I feel know. It seems like whenever we talk know, he has to bring her up to remind me (or himself) that she is still in his life.

My best advice to you, is be his friend. That may be what he needs the most right now. Like others have said before me, he may turn out to be your best friend in the world!!! I know it isn't what is what you want, but at least you still have his friendship.

SATX*APhi · #7 08-01-2002, 12:50 AM

We have been the best of friends for a few years now and I cherish our friendship. Because I value our friendship so much, I never told him about the feelings I had for him. Sooo, as of now, he still does not know. But it is so funny because at dinner tonight, after he told me he was gay, he told me that I was the second person who he has told and that he trusts me and knows that we will be friends until we have "real jobs" and are grey. A lot of you pointed out that our friendship would be the best ever, and he, in a way, said the same thing. Although I am sad about there never being a future between us, I am happy at the same time because I know how special of a friend he is to me, as I am to him. Like he said, "we will be friends until we have 'real jobs' and are grey."

josh8o · #8 08-01-2002, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SATX*APhi
it is so funny because at dinner tonight, after he told me he was gay, he told me that I was the second person who he has told and that he trusts me and knows that we will be friends until we have "real jobs" and are grey.

hey, during my senior year of high school one of my firends (a girl) who i had been very good friends with since 5th grade, (she even was my 6th grade girlfriend...lol) told me that she was a lesbian and had a girlfriend. besides her girlfriend, i was the only person she told.
turst me, i can tell you that when someone confides one of their most deepest secrets to you, and you are one of the first to know, it is a friendship set in stone...nothing is gonna tear you two apart.

AOX81 · #9 08-01-2002, 08:07 AM

I know exactly how you feel. One of my bestfriends is head-over-heels in love with a gay man. He is so good looking and he is extremely nice. I can see why she loves him so much.

Men are like parking spaces...

The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Hootie · #10 08-03-2002, 06:50 PM

Hey gal...I've been busy and thus haven't read too much on GC.
Is this the SAME guy you emailed me about? How sad!

Hootie

SATX*APhi · #11 08-03-2002, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
Hey gal...I've been busy and thus haven't read too much on GC.
Is this the SAME guy you emailed me about? How sad!

Hootie

NOOOOOO, NOOOOO.....LOL, not that it is a bad thing....the guy I e-mailed you about is in Houston (having met for dinner would have been a little too impossible

)

Hootie · #12 08-04-2002, 08:30 AM

Well there's hope yet!

Dunno what to tell you about the whole guy you like turning gay thing. Obviously it's just not meant to be ~ sexuality is a strange thing and although I'd love to say you could change him back...it's probably not likely.
In the meantime be grateful you have such awesome friends and one in particular that you feel especially fond for.
Hootie

Peaches-n-Cream · #13 08-05-2002, 01:37 AM

It happens. At least you have a great friend for life.

SATX*APhi · #14 08-07-2002, 04:17 AM

Things between my friend and I are super, super cool!!!!!!!

We've talked a lot since "the announcement" and have gone out a few times. Things couldn't be better!!

In fact, I think him telling me brought us a lot closer, now that he doesn't have this "hidden secret." We actually talked about that tonight.

Things are great!!!!!!!!!

Thanks GC'ers for your help!!! I do not know what I would do without you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!