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Welcome to our newest member, starck |
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03-23-2005, 02:03 AM
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As everybody is discussing this ad nauseum, I had a couple lengthy discussions about this at work today. I really have to believe that if I were in the condition that she has been in for 15 years, I would want to be allowed to leave this world. I would want my family to be able to grieve the loss of me and move on with their wives. Although I'm not currently married, I do believe that this would include my husband. If I can't be a wife to him, then I don't think I would want him to have to have a lonely existence only because I was brain dead and he had made some vow about "in sickness and in health". Having a loved one in that condition for that length of time has to be extremely stressful for them and I wouldn't want to put them through that. Perhaps I have a martyr syndrome, but I really would rather see my loved ones grieve and move on with their lives. I think that the husband has already grieved the loss of his wife, because he lost her 15 years ago. I feel sad for her parents and siblings because they aren't able to let go. If her husband just wanted her dead so that he could re-marry, then he could have just divorced her.
I have heard the argument that they are "playing God" in taking the feeding tube out and the woman at work who said that said "if God wanted to take her, he would have by now, so they need to keep feeding her". I pointed out that if it was up to God completely, then she will miraculously live without the feeding tube if that's His wish also. If we can "play God" by with holding medical treatment that is life saving, then aren't we "playing God" when we keep people alive by artificial means? It's a question I will have for Him when I reach the pearly gates (I have a whole list of questions!). It seems like as we come up with more and more medical advances to keep people alive and treat their illnesses, more and more illnesses pop up (thinking about HIV, ebola virus, etc) which we can't cure.
If nothing else, hopefully this will get more people to put their wishes in writing. I love that 5 wishes site and am planning on filling it out and having my mother do it too. I know her wishes and I am her Patient Advocate, but I want it all in writing. Since she has emphysema and there will be some difficult decisions to make, I want her to have it in writing. It's not an easy thing to talk about or think about, but it's necessary.
Dee
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03-23-2005, 03:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RUgreek
You know this argument about Michael's new family has really nothing to do with the medical treatment of Terri. Glad some of you are pissed he decided to move on after she was declared "dead" years ago. Fulfillling his wife's final wishes is all that's delaying this situation. You want to villify the man for continuing to live, fine but I think he is just trying to do the right thing despite his in-laws smear campaign.
And since we are playing dirty politics, why not look into Terri's past relationship with her parents. This disorder of hers developed way before she married Michael. Maybe her family life and home isn't as perfect as you all think. The media is afraid to be equal with its coverage of them because it would just look so insensitive to attack these poor defenseless parents now, wouldn't it?
I don't know any more than what the courts know. No evidence of any wrongdoing on Michael's part and no reason to believe she will recover from this permanent vegetative state. Quit your right-to-life whining and let this woman die with dignity (whatever little is remaining).
RUgreek
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A-FUCKING_MEN & CO-FUCKING-SIGN
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03-23-2005, 03:22 AM
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That's probably the most rational argument I've heard this entire time.
Let her die with what little dignity she has left.
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03-23-2005, 07:38 AM
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This is a legal question that I've been thinking about because of this:
When one gets married, doesn't that usually mean that one's spouse is granted Power-of-Attorney in the event of something like this?
I've been wondering, because if so, then it would seem to me that her parents don't legally have an argument for keeping her alive other than it would hurt their feelings and their opinion wouldn't legally matter in whether to keep her feeding tube in or not.
As to my opinion on it--Kids, I don't think she's snapping out of it any time soon. Really, what's the point of being alive if you don't even know that you are? Let the woman go. If the good Lord decides to call her home, that's between Him and her, not her and her husband and her parents and the Bushes and the courts and everybody else.
/is against life-support machines except in the short-term cases 'cause then you wind up with situations like this one
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03-23-2005, 08:34 AM
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http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/23/schiavo/index.html
yay for the appeals court, they're not going to order the reinsertion of the feeding tube
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03-23-2005, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by texas*princess
From the article:
Does this mean she's been kept alive w/ a feeding tube for the past decade? I've been hearing about this recently, but I'm not really sure how it all started.
I think it's really sad that it looks like her husband wants her dead so he can marry his mistress
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It doesn't look like that to me...it looks more like he wants her wishes fulfilled and not debated repeatedly in court.
Once again, take ISPP made the best posts of the thread with the links to those websites. The moral of the story is to make your wishes known, legally, in writing so that there is no confusion. (this isn't to say Terry Schiavo did anything wrong)
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03-23-2005, 11:47 AM
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Location: New York, NY
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Quote:
Originally posted by bekibug
This is a legal question that I've been thinking about because of this:
When one gets married, doesn't that usually mean that one's spouse is granted Power-of-Attorney in the event of something like this?
I've been wondering, because if so, then it would seem to me that her parents don't legally have an argument for keeping her alive other than it would hurt their feelings and their opinion wouldn't legally matter in whether to keep her feeding tube in or not.
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One's spouse is not granted a power of attorney when you marry. This is kind of technical but a power of attorney can't be implied. You have to give it to someone while you are still healthy. Also it generally only covers financial matters. You are thinking of a living will or a durable healthcare proxy. Those can't be implied either. Both have to be given before you become incapacitated.
What happens, if you become incapacitiated and you haven't created a living will or a healthcare proxy, is that the courts appoint a guardian to make decisions for you, until you gain capacity again or until you die. A guardianship is different because the courts monitor guardians directly. With a healthcare proxy the doctors generally just follow the decisions of the proxy unless someone contests and goes to the court to stop the proxy's decision.
Generally, if you are married, your spouse is automatically presumed to be the person who should be your guardian. However, that can be contested. You need a pretty serious reason to contest, like the spouse himself is incapacitated or the spouse tried to kill the other spouse resulting in the incapacity (a la Sonny Von Bulow). For a guardian to make a decision like this, the guardian must go to the court and ask the courts permission. If it is not contested, it is usually just between the court and the guardian. Other interested parties can contest and can present an opposing viewpoint but if the guardian makes a strong enough showing then the decision goes with what the guardian wants. The parents' opinion isn't completely irrelevant but they would need to have strong evidence which completely refutes the husband's position.
I would also like to mention that this process is slow, cumbersome, and very expensive. This is why we all need a living will or a healthcare proxy. Marriage is no substitute for that.
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03-23-2005, 11:55 AM
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03-23-2005, 12:10 PM
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Wow, I hadn't seen a picture of her taken before the ordeal. She looks like a completely different person.
Thanks for the website; when these people are in the news, sometimes people tend to forget that they're just regular human beings.
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03-23-2005, 12:35 PM
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Location: Either almost in Mississippi or almost in Georgia, or traveling in between
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Merci, HelloKitty.
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03-23-2005, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by RUgreek
You know this argument about Michael's new family has really nothing to do with the medical treatment of Terri. Glad some of you are pissed he decided to move on after she was declared "dead" years ago. Fulfillling his wife's final wishes is all that's delaying this situation. You want to villify the man for continuing to live, fine but I think he is just trying to do the right thing despite his in-laws smear campaign.
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CO SIGN! If this man had divorced his wife in that state, the public would be crucifying him right now so he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't! The man has taken care of his wife for 15 years and from what I understand, he was offered money to give up the power of attorney and he refused. I'm not buying the smear campaign AT ALL.
I'm glad that this is an issue that seems to of united Republicans and Democrats that I talk to. Almost all my friends from both sides are VERY uneasy about Congress getting involved.
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03-23-2005, 02:12 PM
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Location: southeast of disorder
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My hubby and I have also talked about this and neither of us wants to go through this, so we are working on our living will. The tube should have never been inserted - then we wouldn't be here going through all this.
I am definitely pro-life when it comes to abortion issues, but I am also pro-euthanasia! Just another wacky part of me (like being a good conservative but a vegetarian also) LOL!
AggieAXO - I am with you 100%. I have helped two pets cross over the rainbow bridge, and it was so peaceful and easy. I will take that ANY day over this nonsense. Just a nice little shot and that is all.
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03-23-2005, 03:45 PM
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The news the other night had one of Teri's brothers speak who was actually on the side of her husband. I was pretty suprised that he hadn't been heard from more.
I just signed the living will and no-extreme measures stuff the other day. I could never handle having that happen to me. The poor woman.
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03-23-2005, 11:07 PM
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03-24-2005, 11:58 AM
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Next Step, the Supreme Court....
As horrible as it sounds, I'm hoping that Terri Schiavo passes on this weekend so she can finally be at peace and this circus can end.
High court gets Schiavo plea
Parents ask justices to intervene in case
By John Kennedy, Wes Smith and Sean Mussenden | Sentinel Staff Writers
Posted March 24, 2005
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/...pecialbreaking
PINELLAS PARK -- Terri Schiavo's parents made a desperate plea to the U.S. Supreme Court late Wednesday, asking the justices to intervene and order their daughter's feeding tube to be reinserted to keep her from dying.
In an appeal filed just before 11 p.m. in Washington, Bob and Mary Schindler -- with their daughter in her sixth straight day without food or water -- begged the court to "move immediately on this matter."
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Last edited by ZTAngel; 03-24-2005 at 12:08 PM.
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