Advice for PNMs: Not getting a bid to your 1st choice.

[SydneyK]

Do you know Tom, Twizzler73? Your grammar and logic skills are pretty much on the same level. Y'all should hook up.

[December190]

I rushed this semester as a junior.
My "favorite" house from day 1 cut me after the first round.

My second "favorite" house I actually kept inviting me back all the way to their preference night.

On bid day I opened my card and saw that I didn't get a big from my second favorite house. Instead I got a bid from the house that I ranked LAST on the first day.

I still accepted it because I knew I wouldn't go through recruitment again as a senior, it would be pointless. So I thought I'd give these girls a try even though I knew I'd be miserable.

I'm about to get initiated next week and I can HONESTLY say I don't belong in any other house. I LOVE these girls. I have had so much fun these past couple weeks and I really can't imagine myself being in any other sorority, ESPECIALLY my "favorite" house from day one.

Moral of the story is... just give it a try. I have full faith that the system works the way it's supposed to and you end up in the house that you're meant to be in.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping for the Fall 2012 PNMs to read, because not everyone is going to get their #1 choice.

[carnation]

I hope that PNMs will read this before they rush.

[MoonAndTheStars]

Hopefully it's okay to post in both this and other thread, but I wanted girls to see my story because I really hope it helps someone like me! I would have missed out on an enormous part of my life if I had given up on my 2nd choice.

__________________________________________________ ________________

I've been meaning to post this on here for awhile, and I really hope it helps someone!

I had a dream recruitment all the way through pref night. We could have a maximum of 2 houses, and I got my two remaining favorites. I struggled with which one to choose but finally made my decision and went off back to the dorms for the night. I knew there was a chance that I would get my 2nd choice, but in past years at my school, most girls usually get their 1st choice. I didn't realize that the huge increase in girls rushing might affect things.

As you can guess by now, I was VERY surprised on Bid Day to see that I had not gotten my 1st choice! I ran to the house and participated in that day's activities with fake enthusiasm. All my new sisters were SO excited, including one of my best friends who had listed them as her 1st choice and was THRILLED! I obviously didn't want to ruin the day for anyone or be a spoiled brat about it, but I sobbed my eyes out when I got back to my room. My roommate, who didn't rush, tried to comfort me, but I was crushed.

I tried to remind myself that at some point I had loved this 2nd choice, but I felt betrayed by Pref night at my 1st choice. I was close to several upperclassmen there, and a Senior I really looked up to had talked to me that night. She asked me if I was going to another house that night, and when I said yes, she proceeded to tell me some very moving things about making the right choice for myself, but that she could see me in their chapter, it made her who she is, all the actives who had met me were so impressed by me and wanted me as their sister, etc.

I read these threads, but I was angry and thought all these happily ever after stories didn't apply to me in the slightest. (I wanted to bold this because if anyone is reading these thinking...yeah right! I hope this helps). I had accepted a bid so if I dropped than I wouldn't be able to rush for an entire year, and it really wasn't feasible to think I would get in my 1st choice as a Sophomore. I was angry and sad for a full week, and I even went to one of the school counselors at the health center because I felt so awful. Another thought that lingered in the back of my mind which I full well knew was awful but still existed...I felt like my new sorority was one of the lower tier ones, and people would instantly label me as loser if they knew I was in it. It pains me to remember that I even thought that back then! My mindset of cool vs uncool was like that of a middle schooler during that time.

I decided to wait out new member period and drop out if I was still really upset by the time initiation came around. Very slowly, things started to get better. I got a new member "sister" before my big, and that was one of the first things that started to make me feel better. She was SO nice! We hung out a couple of times, and she gave me the most thoughtful little gift bag with shirts and other sorority themed things. Going to my first chapter meetings also helped because I saw how strong the sisterhood was in my chapter. Also, I started to come to the realization that I would have felt terribly out of place in other sorority's pledge class, and I felt really comfortable in mine.

Anyway, it took me awhile to warm up to my 2nd choice, but I am SO GLAD that by some chance of fate, this all happened. I really think I would be miserable in the other chapter. I realized mine isn't a low tier at all, we are actually one of the strongest, and it's because we have so many amazing girls who support EVERYONE in the chapter. I'm super proud to be where I am! It actually took me a couple of months to realize truly how happy I am here, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I have leadership positions which I probably would have never pursued otherwise (I didn't have any leadership positions in high school, and my sisters have given me the confidence to do so), and I have an AMAZING big and family who I don't think I would known otherwise. I actually keep in contact with women as far back as my Great x5 Grandbig.

[FSUZeta]

Like!

[carnation]

I love that story!

[Evy6of8]

Hi,

I have enjoyed reading the stories about rushing, bids and recruitments. Just curious what does the term PMN mean? I am a member of AKA Sorority, Inc and our whole rush, and initiation process is very different, which is why I am asking.

Thank you,

Evy

[AZTheta]

Potential New Member = PNM.

[UNCalum]

Similar question...what is RFM?

[WCsweet<3]

RFM = release figure method. It is a system for determining the number of PNMs returning to each chapter based on numbers from previous years. It is used by the vast majority of campuses.

[justgo_withit]

Release Figure Methodology. Simply put, it uses math and recruitment history to determine how many girls a chapter should optimally invite back after every round.

More detail: https://www.npcwomen.org/resources/pdf/RFM%20Update.pdf

ETA: Jinx, WC!

[1964Alum]

Lucky me! I got my first choice long before RFM was even dreamed of. But once on the other side, I learned that there were any number of fantastic young women we would have LOVED to have pledged had it not been for the constraint of quota limit.

One thing to bear in mind is that the active members other than one or two officers most often don't know who among our pledges was on our first or who was on our second list. We never talked about that. We were thrilled to welcome all our new members with open arms. Nor did the new members ever know who was on the first list and who might have been on the second. Everyone started on the same footing.

I honestly would have been happy with my second choice or even my third choice, whose preference I was invited to but had to decline because we were allowed only two preferential parties. All three groups had much in common but also differences that made them unique. All three were terrific groups.

I think two things are important for any young woman going through recruitment. The first is to have humility and to not assume anything. Remember that those who chose to go through recruitment are a self-selected group, each believing that she has something worthwhile to offer to any GLO. And who also likely has a resume very similar to yours.

The second is to look for the positive in EVERY group whose parties you are invited to. And to accept those invitations graciously and to be an appreciative guest. Sure, there will be those you feel more at home in/impressed with than others, but it is important to remember that recruitment is frankly a pretty artificial way to really know each of the GLOs in truly meaningful ways. All have something wonderful to offer!

Part of my decision making involved seeing the other PNMs at the parties and imagining them to be a pledge sister. My pledge sisters were an amazing group! But so were the pledges of my second and third choices!

[carnation]

This is an important thread for PNMs! You never know what will be on that bid card until you open it, even if someone has assured you that you're guaranteed to be an Alpha Beta Alpha.

[sissyintexas]

Yes, I have already had one girl tell me that she is rushing only for XYZ.