Abortion... please don't flame! - Page 8

Honeykiss1974 · #1 08-26-2003, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by aggieAXO
for some people religious reasons may be valid but not for me. Just b/c if I had gotten pregnant and had an abortion does not mean I am weak. I am strong enough to know what I can handle and what I can't and having a child in college is not something I could handle and I would never judge another woman to be weak if they chose to terminate the pregnancy.

for all of those that are against abortion are you going to adopt children to eliminate or at least decrease the number of children in orphanages (especially minority babies)? If the answer is no then maybe you should re-think your stance.

Not to get personal, but I do plan to adopt a child when the time comes, as well as support alternate programs that would help women in this situation (my previous post has references to this).

Well, since I am pro-life for religious reasons which is more than enough law for me, I'll bow out of the conversation and hope that it continues to remain civil.

aggieAXO · #2 08-26-2003, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Not to get personal, but I do plan to adopt a child when the time comes, as well as support alternate programs that would help women in this situation (my previous post has references to this).

Well, since I am pro-life for religious reasons which is more than enough law for me, I'll bow out of the conversation and hope that it continues to remain civil.

I am glad to see that are going to adopt, anyone else?
BTW I plan to adopt also.

AllWoman · #3 08-26-2003, 02:20 PM

I signed up with a different screen name to post this. I am a regular poster on GC and didn't want to come out with this to everyone.

I have had an abortion. I was 19 and the man was a close friend of mine. We had just gone through a tramatic experience together, and we were very emotional. So while we were consoling each other one night, we began to kiss and one thing led to another. I was on the pill, he used a condom, and yet four weeks later, I found out I was with child.
I was devastated. My parents did not know that I had ever been with a man at all, and yet this had happened. I called him and his exact words were "well, what are you going to do? and before you decide let me just tell you, if you choose to have this child I will not be there, I will pay child support, but I will not help you raise it. And remember you will be ruining that childs life, my life and your life."
That is what I had to hear before I made a HUGE decision. I was raised Catholic, my father was very religious- not to mention I am an only child. I couldn't face going to them and telling them this news, and alone, since he was not willing to be there for me. I called my best friend and she came over, we talked for a long time. My parents would have thrown me out- I know for a fact. I was so upset. But in the end I found that it was the right decision for ME.
Oh, and by the way it is NOT cheap to get this done. He called his uncle, who is a SENATOR and borrowed money. It was $500. I was 10 weeks along- you can't have it done before 6 and after 12 it changes to a different form. When they did the ultrasound they found some problems with the baby- he wasn't developing right- but that was irrelavant.
I have never regretted my decision. I have never dwelled on it. I haven't been tortured or beaten by it. I wonder what God will say when I come to him on my judgement day- but I know that it will be HIM that decides my fate, not any one else, not any Pro Life person. I have asked his forgiveness and prayed that I was making the right decision.
I believe I did. The other women that were there- there were 10 in all- were not what you would have expected. One was a younger woman than I was- only 14, her mother had to come with her and sign a form. One woman was married and had 4 children. They couldn't financially afford another one, her husband was with her. One woman was a prostitute, strung out on drugs, her pimp had given her the money. I didn't speak with the other women.
Now, you can flame me or ask questions, and I will answer as best as I can. I only ask that no one here judge me. I thought a different perspective would help.
And also, just for the record, I always said I was prochoice, but couldn't do it myself. And I will never have another one, unless I am raped. I feel now I am old enough, more mature and capable of raising a child, with or without a man to help.

valkyrie · #4 08-26-2003, 03:19 PM

***Hugs*** to you, allwoman. Thanks for sharing your story.

Jill1228 · #5 08-26-2003, 03:35 PM

Definitely hugs to you! I sent you a PM!

DWAlphaGam · #6 08-26-2003, 03:58 PM

Thank you, AllWoman. Your story is an important one and I hope it helps open some eyes.

I figured I'd throw in my $.02, here.

I am pro-choice. I am also the product of a teenage pregnancy (my mom was 16, my father was 17). My father wanted my mom to have an abortion and he said he would have no part of raising me, but she refused. She was terrified about what would happen, and didn't even have the courage to tell her mother until she was 6 months along, but she knew that she wanted to keep me. Luckily, my grandmother was very supportive and things worked out for the best. I know that life has not been very easy for my mom, and I know that she never regrets having me, but I also know that she probably would have been better off not being a mother at 16. Now, everytime I joke about being an "accident," she tells me that although I was a surprise, that I should never feel that I was unwanted. I know this is true, because she was able to choose to have me, and it wasn't a decision that was forced on her.

cash78mere · #7 08-26-2003, 05:02 PM

my view may be a little unorthodox, but i have held it for a long time.

i truly believe that anyone who wants to stop a woman from aborting a fetus should be FORCED to adopt at least one child in their lifetime. if they think they have the right to decide someone's life, they should be forced to deal with the consequences of that action, i.e.--the baby. if the mother does not want/cannot have the child, it may very well end up in an orphanage or foster care. how is that fair for that poor child to be unwanted??? of course some get adopted--my own cousin was adopted. but what about the thousands who have no family, no home, no future!!!??? even if it is 1% of babies that don't get adopted--those are CHILDREN!!! so make the pro-lifers adopt those unwanted children. if someone can open their mouths to stop a woman from aborting her fetus, they should open their home to that child who may otherwise wind up parentless.

Lady Pi Phi · #8 08-26-2003, 06:31 PM

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has posted in this thread. It's nice to read a thread on GC of depth that hasn't turned into a flame war. I respect and appreciate everyone's opinions. I'm glad to see that we have remained civilized, This is a very intense and emotional subject. So thanks everyone.

Also, thanks to AllWoman for sharing her story with us.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled civilized debate.

Tom Earp · #9 08-26-2003, 06:45 PM

I really don know why I am posting on this thread.

I had a son once! I never have met him thanks to my mother. Bless her Sole!

I have tried to find him ever since. To No avail! She was a mine
for a short period of time.

A Christmas Eve Son. Is this hard, yes it is everytime It comes around!

The decision to have a Child is up to the indiduals who may be having or not a baby!

There are circumstsances that may be not under the control of the people involved.

A lot depends on what the reason was, or is why not to have a Baby!

To This day, I love Kids, Dogs, Cats, but will never have any living with me!

I lived with a Lady From Tenn. who I took Her Daughter under my wing! Flew to Ca. to Snatch and grab the 2 cutest Little Girls!

Had them for 2 years! Went back to Ca. to fight in a Court Battle to keep them! I lost!

So dont anyone ever tell me about Kids!

If you want to have Sex, be prepared to have what you get!

Sorry, It did strike a cord with me!

AKA_Monet · #10 08-26-2003, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AllWoman
I signed up with a different screen name to post this. I am a regular poster on GC and didn't want to come out with this to everyone.

I have had an abortion. I was 19 and the man was a close friend of mine. We had just gone through a tramatic experience together, and we were very emotional. So while we were consoling each other one night, we began to kiss and one thing led to another. I was on the pill, he used a condom, and yet four weeks later, I found out I was with child.
I was devastated. My parents did not know that I had ever been with a man at all, and yet this had happened. I called him and his exact words were "well, what are you going to do? and before you decide let me just tell you, if you choose to have this child I will not be there, I will pay child support, but I will not help you raise it. And remember you will be ruining that childs life, my life and your life."
That is what I had to hear before I made a HUGE decision.

Allwoman--

Firstly, I am truly supportive of your choice you made in your life. I am sure that it was one of the toughest decisions you have EVER had to make...

Secondly, NEVER EVER be ashamed of what has happened in your life and the choices you had to make at the given time--at least YOU HAD THE CHOICE TO EVEN MAKE!!! Some women NEVER get that chance--much less their choices get made for them...

Lastly, the man who impregnated you is an a$$wipe regardless of how you BOTH came around to getting you pregnant. That is my opinion. Given ALL that you were going through, how the HELL is he going to say some crap he said to you--yeah, you'd ruin your life--whatever!!! So, what's that supposed to mean?? WTF!!! So, the feelings that you had are nothing but "ruined"???

That's what bothers me--it like, OH, so like it was okay that y'all slept together, but the repercussions of that one night were too much for him to bear now??? Bullisht!!!

I'da tell 'em BE A MAN and STEP UP!!!

IT HAS ALWAYS TAKEN 2 TO TANGO--SINCE THE DAWN OF SEXUAL REPRODUCTION IN EITHER RELIGIOUS CONVICTION OR EVOLUTION!!!

And for the other ladies under similar circumstances, let me ask you this:

Are all guys buttholes when you have to tell them the consequences of both of your actions?

'Cuz I'm seeing a little trend here and to me, IMO, it's foul!!!

valkyrie · #11 08-26-2003, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Are all guys buttholes when you have to tell them the consequences of both of your actions?

'Cuz I'm seeing a little trend here and to me, IMO, it's foul!!!

I'm kind of torn on this issue, not that I have any personal experience with it. Everyone knows that I believe that a woman should have the right to choose whether to have an abortion or not. In an ideal world, she and the man responsible will discuss this together and come up with a solution that is satisfactory to both of them, whether it be abortion, keep the baby and stay together, keep the baby and one of them takes it or adoption. The final decision, however, as to whether to have the baby or not should be up to the woman. I feel very strongly that a man should not be able to prevent a woman from having an abortion because he wants the baby.

I wonder though -- if a woman chooses to give birth and keep the baby knowing that the man didn't want it, is it really fair to demand that he give $$$ to the baby when it wasn't his decision to keep it? Of course I would hope that a man would take responsibility and be a father and all that, but doesn't it seem unfair, if a woman has a right to choose, to say that a man doesn't and has to live with whatever the woman decides? What if the woman was desperate to get pregnant and lied about being on the pill and poked holes in condoms? I don't know if stuff like that ever happens, but it wouldn't shock me.

Lady Pi Phi · #12 08-26-2003, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Are all guys buttholes when you have to tell them the consequences of both of your actions?

'Cuz I'm seeing a little trend here and to me, IMO, it's foul!!!

No I don't think all guys are buttholes when it comes to this situation. A friend of mine got his girlfriend pregnant. She decided she was going to keep the child. My friend decided to be a man and stepup and take responisbility for his actions. Well this girl gave him a hard time and a half. She was trying to get ridiculous amounts of child support (much much more than he was able to afford) and she wouldn't let him see his little girl. This was girl was the typical Jenny Jones kind of gilr. At first she didn't know who the father was and had him and another guy thinking they were both the father until they finally got a paternity test done. I could see how much this hurt him. All he wanted to do was try to be a father to this little girl and the mother wouldn't let him.

So no, not all guys are buttholes. It's unfortunate that all we hear about are the ones that are.

smiley21 · #13 08-26-2003, 08:25 PM

it is a rough decision. reading through this thread, i still cant say whether abortion is right or wrong. it is hard sometimes being in the church and being taught somethings. i have learned that you really have to decide for yourself what you want to believe and let no one sway your decision. i am okay with those new florida license plates that says 'choose life'.... cause of freedom of speech. but i cannot stand those bumper stickers that seem to scream 'abortion is murder!!!!!!!!!' with illustrations. to me, that is crossing the line. we dont fully understand what these women go through. what if a woman that was extremely successful going through college and was suddenly raped and impregnated. do we really have the audacity to judge her if she decided to have an abortion? we need to think before we speak.

AKA_Monet · #14 08-26-2003, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
In an ideal world, she and the man responsible will discuss this together and come up with a solution that is satisfactory to both of them, whether it be abortion, keep the baby and stay together, keep the baby and one of them takes it or adoption.

Most of time, the guy is blasted away by the news of impregnating a woman that he puts her off...

If a woman chooses abortion, then without paying outta the yin-yang, there is some time limit...

So basically from what I understand from friends of mine that had these decisions to make, there is no such thing as an "ideal world"...

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
I wonder though -- if a woman chooses to give birth and keep the baby knowing that the man didn't want it, is it really fair to demand that he give $$$ to the baby when it wasn't his decision to keep it?...What if the woman was desperate to get pregnant and lied about being on the pill and poked holes in condoms? I don't know if stuff like that ever happens, but it wouldn't shock me.

Now, that is an area I am quite familiar with being one the opposite side... I was the girlfriend of a man who got another woman pregnant and played the "ghetto games 2000"...

You cannot get that kind of law entertainment with what happens in the "real courtroom"... Chit happens...

I mostly see this happing to women 30+--the biological clock explosive devices. These women make sure they take the ovulation test before they sleep with a man... And because usually, everyone is older, then money can get flown around much more easily... These women DO NOT plan on getting pregnant by some luser... The PLAN on getting pregnant by someone WHO CAN PAY CHILD SUPPORT... Either way, the unsuspecting man has no clue what is about to happen... Let's just say, he is thinking with his "extremities"...

Now a pimp, don't give a dayum about a ho and her problems. If he's a Mac, then that beeaitch best be out on da street to make that $$$...

But most of time, a man that is a contributing member of society with no criminal history and just ain't thinkin'--I feel so sorry for those fellows...

At any rate, most of those kind women do not get abortions...

AKA_Monet · #15 08-26-2003, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
No I don't think all guys are buttholes when it comes to this situation. A friend of mine got his girlfriend pregnant. She decided she was going to keep the child. My friend decided to be a man and stepup and take responisbility for his actions. Well this girl gave him a hard time and a half. She was trying to get ridiculous amounts of child support (much much more than he was able to afford) and she wouldn't let him see his little girl. This was girl was the typical Jenny Jones kind of gilr. At first she didn't know who the father was and had him and another guy thinking they were both the father until they finally got a paternity test done. I could see how much this hurt him. All he wanted to do was try to be a father to this little girl and the mother wouldn't let him.

So no, not all guys are buttholes. It's unfortunate that all we hear about are the ones that are.

Moreover, I just cannot tell you the NUMBERS OF WOMEN I KNOW WHO PLAY THIS GAME!!!

The Ghetto Game 2000--It's just skrait ghhhhheeeeettttwwwwoooo!!!!

These are NOT the "innocent" get raped and pregnant ladies... Nor are they the immature, young teenagers... NOOOOOOO, these are the women who DO KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM and choose to be sex addicts--I guess... I ain't talkin' bout messed up birth control pill women... I'm talking 'bout those, those--chicks--that have to have a baby from God knows who then wonder why there is domestic violence...

What is worse is that these women just could care less about getting Sexually Transmitted Infections, like AIDS (HIV) and others...

Then what do you think will happen to the poor child that didn't ask to be there...