Transgender women in sorority life? - Page 8

anna7363 · #1 06-13-2014, 05:27 PM

no I rarely use this user name actually

AZTheta · #2 06-13-2014, 05:30 PM

anna, this really is something that you need to seek support from in another venue - not a message board. That's my opinion. From what you have posted, you're very much upset and (self-stated) bitter. Those are issues that should be addressed elsewhere.

There are so many reasons that a PNM does not get a bid. We weren't there. We don't know. Even if we did, we wouldn't say, because membership selection is private.

AOII Angel · #3 06-13-2014, 05:32 PM

Yeah, life can suck. When you aren't "normal" that a group is expecting, you may not have all the same experiences of everyone else. BUT like we tell every other PNM that comes to GC upset over not getting a bid, you CAN have a great college experience without sorority life. As much as fraternal bonds are great, your friendships can be as strong made through other on campus activities. We all have things in life that we are rejected from. You are not being forced to live a life that you don't want. I'm sorry not all doors are open to you, but that's life. We all have some doors that are closed to us. Bitterness is fine. I'm sure I would be in the same boat. Just don't miss out on too much as you have your pity party. The best revenge is to have a great time!

anna7363 · #4 06-13-2014, 05:33 PM

I mean I didn't come on here for support, I came on here for understanding. It kind of became a support thing tho. I didn't really intend for that to happen

anna7363 · #5 06-13-2014, 05:34 PM

When I say understanding I mean I personally wanted to understand it

anna7363 · #6 06-13-2014, 05:35 PM

I mean I would agree with you about the fear thing if it wasn't for the incredibly consistent stories I have been told, thats all

sigmadiva · #7 06-13-2014, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anna7363

I mean I would agree with you about the fear thing if it wasn't for the incredibly consistent stories I have been told, thats all

They are presenting a united front.

anna7363 · #8 06-13-2014, 05:45 PM

Idk, these include the friends of mine and the drunken babble. That's a pretty impressive united front if it's true

AOII Angel · #9 06-13-2014, 05:47 PM

I think for your peace of mind, stop asking "Why?" It's not worth it. It isn't worth it for biologically female women who aren't offered bids either. If you read recruitment stories on GC, you will see that asking ALWAYS leads to heartache. The stories you hear are hearsay, one sided and NEVER provide a full picture of why you did not receive a bid. Realize that it is unlikely that an entire group voted against you. Some of the groups very well may have decided you were ineligible for membership. You would need strong backing for a group to go head to head against their alumnae or HQ if they knew and said no. What you need to understand is that the institution of sororities is still too conservative to accept a MtoF transgender woman. It's not an indictment of you as a person but of society in general. Period.

SoCalGirl · #10 06-13-2014, 05:48 PM

Anna, just a tip. You can edit your posts to form more coherent paragraphs. I suspect you're posting from a smart phone because it's coming across a bit "text message".

anna7363 · #11 06-13-2014, 05:50 PM

Yeah I am "texting" as it were.

anna7363 · #12 06-13-2014, 05:58 PM

I think I'm gonna leave this convo now and really GC all together more or less. I got what I came here looking for, answers. I hope you guys continue talking about this on your own. I think it's an important topic ad the only way it will get better is by an open dialogue. I just hope sororitysock doesn't come looking for me on campus or anything. The level of creepy she had displayed already is really unsettling. Thank you all for being so nice to me! I hope things really do change one day

bevinpiphi · #13 06-13-2014, 10:56 PM

There are many reasons someone could be "cut" from recruitment, informal or formal - grades, personality, fit, class year, partying...a lot of things impact membership selection.

Without divulging anything that would reveal the person or year, I had a friend that I brought to an informal recruitment event when I was an undergrad. I LOVED her, and thought she was a perfect fit for our sorority - good grades, funny as could be, adorable, got along with a bunch of the girls. She seemed to get along great with many of the women at the party, but....unbeknownst to me (or her, really, because she was drunk and it was freshman year) she had PUNCHED one of the other members in the face at a party. Another member had been a floormate of hers freshman year, and she had done some shady things with the member's belongings and a garbage chute. My friend didn't end up getting a bid. Was I upset? Yes. But I also understood that allowing her in would have put my initiated sisters in an awkward place. But she found her home elsewhere.

As for the larger question, I think in the next 5-10 years groups will need to have some kind of policy in place - and I think that, as general opinion evolves, so will Greek life policies. I'm of the opinion that if the person identifies as female, we should honor the identification/pronouns.

AOII Angel · #14 06-14-2014, 10:37 AM

Medically transitioning doesn't mean surgically. It means hormonally. That is all the NCAA cares about because the hormonal status of an athlete will effect their abilities on the field/court. They don't really care what is between the players legs.

KDCat · #15 06-14-2014, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Medically transitioning doesn't mean surgically. It means hormonally. That is all the NCAA cares about because the hormonal status of an athlete will effect their abilities on the field/court. They don't really care what is between the players legs.

That makes sense. I read an article by a trans woman who said that when she started taking hormones, she really noticed the difference in her physical strength.