Advice to rushers: re: legacies

[alum]

Originally posted by radioZTA



Her goal right now is to attend Yale and start a Zeta chapter there. She scares me some times.

Sounds good to me! Top tier school and her Mom's GLO. What could be better?

[irishpipes]

Originally posted by alum
Sounds good to me! Top tier school and her Mom's GLO. What could be better?

I am not trying to pick on you, but why do so many of your posts reference tiers? You seem very concerned with classifying schools, GLOs, etc. Maybe it is just me, but it comes across as very elitist - and not in a good way. I hate to be confrontational like this, but it has just really jumped out at me.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by WLFEO
Forgive me if this is a repeat....I admit I have scanned the thread but not read every page in-depth...... but I'd like to bring up the question--------

Are all legacies created equal?

In my opinion, they are not.

Many alumnae have not been active in their GLO since they graduated, but now that they have a daughter/sister/grandaughter going through recruitment, they want priority for them.

But what about the alumnae who have stayed active? They are members of alumnae associations, have served as a volunteer for the the sorority in some capacity (advisor, AA officer, task force, national officer, etc.)? Shouldn't their daughter be given a little more consideration?

One of the chapters I work with had a PNM just last month during formal recruitment tell them, "I just found out my mom is an ADPi!" and she was so excited about it. But I was thinking, "How could your mom not mention the fact that she is an ADPi for the first 18 years of your life?"

Of course the argument could be made that if the sorority pledges the legacy, it might be more incentive for the mother/sister/grandmother to become active as an alumna- maybe her interest will be sparked.

With the new release figures, some chapters have to make some tough decision about legacies early on in the process. It's not fun for anybody.

One of the best posts on this thread!

There is a WORLD of difference between the alumna who shares her sorority magazine with her daughter every month, takes her to meetings, & is herself an International Officer, and the alumna who "happens" to tell her daughter that they're also sisters - after she pledges!!

[adpiucf]

I'm not jumping on or defending anyone, but I've worked with several campuses, and I've yet to find one where there aren't perceived tiers. Just an observation-- not meant to offend. I still advise any PNM to attend the university that offers her the best education and environment suitable for her and to go into recruitment with the intent to find a sorority where she is most at home.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally posted by alum
Sounds good to me! Top tier school and her Mom's GLO. What could be better?

Does that mean Zeta is not a top tier sorority to you, alum? You always seem to throw tiers into the mix and since you used it to refer to the school, did you purposely leave it OUT with reference to the organization?!?

ANYHOW....moving right along.

Denise

[alum]

Originally posted by Denise_DPhiE
Does that mean Zeta is not a top tier sorority to you, alum? You always seem to throw tiers into the mix and since you used it to refer to the school, did you purposely leave it OUT with reference to the organization?!?

ANYHOW....moving right along.

Denise

Not at all, I am only referring to Yale being a top-tier university. Not only is it an Ivy League, it is consistently ranked in the top 5 in the country by a variety of sources. I am a strong believer in legacies (although I was not one) and I think it would be great if more daughters followed in their matriarchal footsteps (if the chapters allow them the opportunity). No matter what the GLO is that you belong, you should be proud and want your daughters to join.

The woman who posted was a ZTA. Just because Zeta is not at Yale now doesn't preclude them from colonizing in the future, Is it inconceivable to you that the young daughter she mentions could be both an Eli and a Zeta?

[kkg83]

Originally posted by adpiucf
I'm not jumping on or defending anyone, but I've worked with several campuses, and I've yet to find one where there aren't perceived tiers. Just an observation-- not meant to offend. I still advise any PNM to attend the university that offers her the best education and environment suitable for her and to go into recruitment with the intent to find a sorority where she is most at home.

please. in no way did her post suggest that, don't start drama where there is none.

[kddani]

Originally posted by kkg83
please. in no way did her post suggest that, don't start drama where there is none.

Her posts over and over on this site have been involving tiers, and she's put down other groups (such as my own, KD, specifically, which she has never explained). So many of her posts involve tiers and making some groups better than others.

I know you're her sister and all, but she's been doing this for several weeks now, bringing up tiers and who's better than who in all kinds of threads. It's not panhellenic at all, and a lot of what she says is unfounded. I'm sure that KKG tries to instill panhellenicness in its members. Unfortunately this one missed that memo.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally posted by alum
Not at all, I am only referring to Yale being a top-tier university. Not only is it an Ivy League, it is consistently ranked in the top 5 in the country by a variety of sources. I am a strong believer in legacies (although I was not one) and I think it would be great if more daughters followed in their matriarchal footsteps (if the chapters allow them the opportunity). No matter what the GLO is that you belong, you should be proud and want your daughters to join.

The woman who posted was a ZTA. Just because Zeta is not at Yale now doesn't preclude them from colonizing in the future, Is it inconceivable to you that the young daughter she mentions could be both an Eli and a Zeta?

Anybody know if there is an emoticon for talking out both sides of your mouth?

[AOIIalum]

Originally posted by Denise_DPhiE
Anybody know if there is an emoticon for talking out both sides of your mouth?

No emoticons that I could find, but there are a few good old fashioned smilies that might be appropriate. There's this one for either talking out of the side of the mouth OR just can't keep mouth shut:
:\/

Then there's this one for tongue tied OR writer only wants to hear himself:
:-&

OR even this one for a generally confused smilie:
:-S


But the specific emoticon for talking out of both sides of your mouth is: :-8

[Zillini]

Originally posted by dakareng
What if the forms just asked "is your mother/ sister in a NPC sorority, but did not ask which one, nor give the space to fill it in?

It would be up to the mother/ sister/ grandmother to send the proper forms to the chapter.

We've learned that just because a PNM lists herself as a legacy to our GLO on her app doesn't mean it's necessarily true. We double check every one through our online membership enrollment. It's sad really, but PNM's have been known to lie.

We expect an older alum to send in a legacy intro form. But we do take into consideration if say grandma has passed away and there's no one to fill it out. BTW an intro doesn't have to be filled out only by the relative, any member can do it on PNM's behalf.

[Zillini]

WLFEO hit the nail on the head. The best advice I can offer to a mom, sister, or grandma is that if you know your girl will be going through recruitment then get yourself involved. It doesn't even have to be active with that specific chapter. Although that would be a big plus because then the actives would know you and you can bring your legacy around so they get to know her. Volunteer your time and show them you're dedicated.

But if you don't know where your legacy will end up going to school or you live too far away to be directly active with that chapter, there are lot's of other things you can do. Join or even start an alum association. If there's another campus with a chapter nearby, get involved there. Volunteer to be an international officer. Donate (if you can afford it) to the local chapter or national GLO. When you go on campus visits, make arrangements to visit that chapter. If she'll be attending your alma mater, make plans to return for Homecoming, Founder's Day or other special events.

The list of things you can do is endless. Just don't wait until her senior year in hs. Plan ahead. I know I always look twice and think thrice about allowing our members to drop a PNM who's mom, etc is an incredibly active alum. There had better be darn good reasons and not just she was really shy or didn't seem very interested.

Nothing bothers me more than getting angry calls from some random alum who's ticked because we cut her legacy. I can't tell you how tempted I always am to say "Who are you and why have I never heard your name before now? You expect us to bend over backwards for your legacy, yet you haven't even taken the time over the past 18 years of her life to even make your presence known to us?" Sorry, I've just been raked over the coals too many times.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Zillini
WLFEO hit the nail on the head. The best advice I can offer to a mom, sister, or grandma is that if you know your girl will be going through recruitment then get yourself involved. It doesn't even have to be active with that specific chapter. Although that would be a big plus because then the actives would know you and you can bring your legacy around so they get to know her. Volunteer your time and show them you're dedicated.

But if you don't know where your legacy will end up going to school or you live too far away to be directly active with that chapter, there are lot's of other things you can do. Join or even start an alum association. If there's another campus with a chapter nearby, get involved there. Volunteer to be an international officer. Donate (if you can afford it) to the local chapter or national GLO. When you go on campus visits, make arrangements to visit that chapter. If she'll be attending your alma mater, make plans to return for Homecoming, Founder's Day or other special events.

The list of things you can do is endless. Just don't wait until her senior year in hs. Plan ahead. I know I always look twice and think thrice about allowing our members to drop a PNM who's mom, etc is an incredibly active alum. There had better be darn good reasons and not just she was really shy or didn't seem very interested.

Nothing bothers me more than getting angry calls from some random alum who's ticked because we cut her legacy. I can't tell you how tempted I always am to say "Who are you and why have I never heard your name before now? You expect us to bend over backwards for your legacy, yet you haven't even taken the time over the past 18 years of her life to even make your presence known to us?" Sorry, I've just been raked over the coals too many times.

I can understand your way of thinking, and I sympathize if you've gotten nasty calls, but I think we have to be very careful that we don't get into a pattern of "some are more equal than others." Most legacy policies I've read say a legacy is a daughter, sister, granddaughter of a member. It doesn't say a member who is in an alum chapter or a member who sent cookies to the collegians or a member who donated beaucoup bucks. It says a member, period.

Not everyone has time to be involved, and many people espouse the theory of not wanting to do things halfway - i.e. they don't want to be an alum who is nominally in an alum chapter and can't make most of the events. I'm sure my little would be great in an alum chapter, and there's a collegiate chapter in her town, but she's also working 60+ hours a week and in a singing group besides. She's not going to tell the collegians to call her when they need something - mainly because she might not be there!

If an alum, no matter what her status as involvement goes, has filled out the proper forms and done what they can to make sure the chapter knows about her daughter/sister etc rushing, the same level of courtesy should be applied across the board. They may not be doing much as alums, but they may also be the person who as a collegian personally got 20 women to join and saved her chapter's charter.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by 33girl
I can understand your way of thinking, and I sympathize if you've gotten nasty calls, but I think we have to be very careful that we don't get into a pattern of "some are more equal than others." Most legacy policies I've read say a legacy is a daughter, sister, granddaughter of a member. It doesn't say a member who is in an alum chapter or a member who sent cookies to the collegians or a member who donated beaucoup bucks. It says a member, period.

Not everyone has time to be involved, and many people espouse the theory of not wanting to do things halfway - i.e. they don't want to be an alum who is nominally in an alum chapter and can't make most of the events. I'm sure my little would be great in an alum chapter, and there's a collegiate chapter in her town, but she's also working 60+ hours a week and in a singing group besides. She's not going to tell the collegians to call her when they need something - mainly because she might not be there!

If an alum, no matter what her status as involvement goes, has filled out the proper forms and done what they can to make sure the chapter knows about her daughter/sister etc rushing, the same level of courtesy should be applied across the board. They may not be doing much as alums, but they may also be the person who as a collegian personally got 20 women to join and saved her chapter's charter.

I understand your post, but I'll go back to the New Member who didn't know that her mother was an ADPi until she herself pledged ("new membered"???). That's what WLFEO and I believe, Zillini were talking about. That's not a real legacy in the truest sense of the word - that's a pleasant coincidence!

ETA: Even if the mother in this scenario had brought in 20 new members on her own and saved the chapter, the daughter should have been aware of it, in some manner!

[33girl]

Originally posted by honeychile
I understand your post, but I'll go back to the New Member who didn't know that her mother was an ADPi until she herself pledged ("new membered"???). That's what WLFEO and I believe, Zillini were talking about. That's not a real legacy in the truest sense of the word - that's a pleasant coincidence!

ETA: Even if the mother in this scenario had brought in 20 new members on her own and saved the chapter, the daughter should have been aware of it, in some manner!

That's why I said "if they've filled out the proper paperwork."

However, WLFEO said:

Originally posted by WLFEO
Are all legacies created equal?

In my opinion, they are not.

But what about the alumnae who have stayed active? They are members of alumnae associations, have served as a volunteer for the the sorority in some capacity (advisor, AA officer, task force, national officer, etc.)? Shouldn't their daughter be given a little more consideration?

That to me sounds almost like bribery - "you stay active and go to alum chapter meetings and keep paying yearly dues, we'll get your daughter in." Regardless of what the daughter herself brings to the table. I don't think that is right.