Depledging a "loser" sorority?

[Tippiechick]

Ah, thanks for the clarification.

[ISUKappa]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
Sorry if this was mentioned before, but lots of Texas schools have a Junior quota, so Juniors are free! Re-rushing might be a mistake for other reasons that were already talked about, but usually it's easier for a Junior to get a bid at these schools than it is for a sophmore.

Right, but girls are going to know she went through recruitment, pledged and then dropped the previous year which may mean she's cut a lot harder, even if she does get letters of recommendation from alumnae. I know at some campuses that doesn't make a difference, but for many it does.

[LightBulb]

Slightly off-topic -

I don't go to school in Texas (so this may not be completely accurate), but I'm thinkin that at a school that big, the non-Greeks (at least the non-rushers) won't be able to tell which sorority you're in, either by looking at your letters or hearing them. They probably wouldn't know much about the individual sororities either.

Austin has a lot of sororities, right? Non-Greeks usually can't read most Greek letters, and that's a lot of letter patterns to memorize when Greek isn't even your alphabet. They'd probably think you were a barbie-type for being in a sorority at all. I wouldn't worry about having a "loser" reputation with them.

[33girl]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
When you're a new member, it totally sucks to realize that there isn't a lot of pride in publicly claiming the chapter that you joined, but they just need girls like crunchies to stick it out and give it a chance because they want to be the group that keeps girls like her, not runs them off with a scary reputation.

No they don't.

They need girls like her to leave ASAP, unless they are into sadomasochism.

This girl had a YEAR to see how her campus Greek system works, get to know sorority members, evaluate what she wants out of a group. It's not like she was some babe in the woods freshman who came to UT from the middle of nowhere and never saw the sororities before rush.

And if she says that she really didn't know the sororities' reputations - doesn't that kind of negate what she said about being known around campus as the "losers" WHEN SHE, A PERSON INTERESTED IN GREEK LIFE, DIDN'T KNOW HERSELF? Although it seems like the only people on campus she is really interested in the opinion of are the fraternities who won't mix with them.

Plus, I'm guessing the reason she only felt friendship with those who depledged is because they were the ones who confirmed her negative image of the sorority.

James is absolutely right - she's like the girl who keeps going out with a guy she doesn't really like just because she wants to go out with someone, and while she feels nothing, meanwhile the poor guy is falling head over heels. We'd tell someone in that situation to cut the guy loose, and the same advice applies here.

[crunchies]

Um. Why so much hostility?

I din't spend last year figuring out sororities' reputations beucase I had better things to do with my time than ask around about stereotypes amongst the Greek population, which still remains a small percentage of people on campus. I had no intention of rushing at all until late this summer, and even then I wasn't interested in reputations as much as personality of the girls involved.

You're missing my point about reputations around campus, too. The non-Greek students CAN'T tell one sorority from another, you're right, but because you belong to an organization at all a lot of them make snap judgements about you the other way- that you are snobby, rich, coked-up, have an eating disorder, etc- not necessarily stereotypes I agree with, but not ones I'd like to inflict upon myself, either. The Greeks, who CAN tell, though, think you're a loser.

Incidentally, I don't care about the frats one way or the other. I was just making a point about reputation and the limited social aspect.

And don't pretend that I'm the only person in the world awful and shallow enough to wonder if belonging to an social organization w/ a bad name and mediocre social opportunities is worth my time, effort, and money. Friendship is great and all, but as someone else pointed out, I could make friends on my own that I woudln't have to dish out a couple thousand dollars a year for.

Oh, and I'm not quite sure you totally *got* the gist of James' post.

[BobbyTheDon]

Screw it. Just drop. Who says you can't still be involved in greek life? Become a frat rat. Being a frat rat is like being a free agent, without paying dues, no girl drama and committment! If one fraternity is treating you bad, screw them (literally, not literally...) and hang out with their rival. Make all the sorority girls jealous when you are at a party and you can drink, while they can't because they are in letters.

Yeah!

[BobbyTheDon]

Originally posted by crunchies
Um. Why so much hostility?

Crunchies, I don't have hostility towards you! I like you! It sucks to be in your shoes, and I hope you make the right decision.

[33girl]

Originally posted by crunchies
Um. Why so much hostility?

I din't spend last year figuring out sororities' reputations beucase I had better things to do with my time than ask around about stereotypes amongst the Greek population, which still remains a small percentage of people on campus. I had no intention of rushing at all until late this summer, and even then I wasn't interested in reputations as much as personality of the girls involved.

You're missing my point about reputations around campus, too. The non-Greek students CAN'T tell one sorority from another, you're right, but because you belong to an organization at all a lot of them make snap judgements about you the other way- that you are snobby, rich, coked-up, have an eating disorder, etc- not necessarily stereotypes I agree with, but not ones I'd like to inflict upon myself, either. The Greeks, who CAN tell, though, think you're a loser.

Incidentally, I don't care about the frats one way or the other. I was just making a point about reputation and the limited social aspect.

And don't pretend that I'm the only person in the world awful and shallow enough to wonder if belonging to an social organization w/ a bad name and mediocre social opportunities is worth my time, effort, and money. Friendship is great and all, but as someone else pointed out, I could make friends on my own that I woudln't have to dish out a couple thousand dollars a year for.

Oh, and I'm not quite sure you totally *got* the gist of James' post.

Why so much hostility? Because a lot of people on here are members or alums of struggling chapters and have had to put up with people like you dragging the whole chapter down. It's hard enough to keep up morale without having to feel like all of pledgeship is one big long rush party trying to beg girls to stay interested and happy they are there.

I didn't say you should ask around - I think you should be smart enough to figure things out for yourself. You had a year to get to know sorority members on your own - they don't live in biospheres, do they? I find it hard to believe that until rush, you never spoke to sorority members, had classes with them, or went to any social events where they might have been. At the schools that have deferred rush that's the whole point (or should be). You get to know people through regular social channels instead of the (necessary) fakiness of formal rush. That way you can at least form an opinion about some of the members of the groups.

I'm not pretending you're the only person who has gone through this or was upset by the lack of social opportunities presented to them, but you asked for advice, and here it is. You're not happy where you are, and unless you want to fake it for the next three years, you will make those around you in the sorority unhappy as well. So unless you're really going to make a conscious effort to get to know the older members of your chapter and your pledge sisters who DO want to be there, I would say pack it in now, before you're initiated. Have a little respect for others.

And honey - I have known James for a LONG time, and believe me, I understand what he's trying to tell you.

[amazinglagirl]

Originally posted by crunchies

I could make friends on my own that I woudln't have to dish out a couple thousand dollars a year for.

So before this comment, I was kind of a sympathetic ear. Let's face it, Greeks DO care what other Greeks think of them. And at school like Texas part of the fun of being Greek is hanging out and partying with all the other Greeks in the community. And a lot of times that is missing when you join a group that has a negative label among other Greeks or one that isn't true but makes others not want to do stuff with them. I can see where you might not of known this about your sorority before joining because Texas is really big and if you aren't Greek you probably don't know anything about them except that they are around.

But, even I am having trouble jumping to your defense if you are defineing membership in a sorority as "dishing out a couple thousand dollars" to make friends. If that is how you think it works, then I guess I can understand you getting all pissed off when your couple of thousand bucks only buys you 100 friends when everyone else gets 180! What a rip-off!

But making comments like that is what gets people all hostile.

And for the record, of course no one thinks you are the only one who thinks like you do. Most people on this board know exactly what your talking about when you are having these thoughts about your chapter and the insecurities you're feeling, but if you spent any time on Greekchat just reading you would know that this community tries to discourage that kind of thinking that groups on big campuses love to prepetuate. (You know, that "ABC is the best and XYZ sucks" crap.) Everyone knows it exists, but this is kind of a place where people like to squelch it and call everyone on that garbage. At the very least, they try not to reinforce the attitude, so probably you arent gonna feel the love on this topic.

[kddani]

I think that last post of your just lost you a lot of sympathy, crunchies.

Your attitude in general towards greeks sucks. Why did you want to join a sorority at all if you think all that?

Drop now. The sorority doesn't deserve that. And with an attitude like you have, I don't know why another one would pick you up next year.

Even if you did get in another group by dropping and rerushing, you'll just end up having the same or similar issues.

I'm also curious as to why of the sudden the "reputation" of this group, which you never knew about before rush and you admit that people outside of the greek system don't know about, means so much to you.

You said you had a boyfriend, so why does it matter if you mix with the "top" fraternities? Now i'm starting to understand why he may not be supportive of you in this endeavor- if you just care about mixing with the boys.

[smiley21]

Originally posted by amazinglagirl
But, even I am having trouble jumping to your defense if you are defineing membership in a sorority as "dishing out a couple thousand dollars" to make friends. If that is how you think it works, then I guess I can understand you getting all pissed off when your couple of thousand bucks only buys you 100 friends when everyone else gets 180! What a rip-off!

My favorite statement of the thread. LOL!!!

[texas*princess]

Wow crunchies. At first I was honestly sympathetic, however after that last post I hope you drop out as quick as you can. Struggling chapters do NOT need members like yourself so stop wasting their time. In your last post you said "oh I should give it more time!" but after this one, you have just validated what everyone else has been posting.

Originally posted by crunchies
Um. Why so much hostility?

I din't spend last year figuring out sororities' reputations beucase I had better things to do with my time than ask around about stereotypes amongst the Greek population, which still remains a small percentage of people on campus. I had no intention of rushing at all until late this summer, and even then I wasn't interested in reputations as much as personality of the girls involved.

You're missing my point about reputations around campus, too. The non-Greek students CAN'T tell one sorority from another, you're right, but because you belong to an organization at all a lot of them make snap judgements about you the other way- that you are snobby, rich, coked-up, have an eating disorder, etc- not necessarily stereotypes I agree with, but not ones I'd like to inflict upon myself, either. The Greeks, who CAN tell, though, think you're a loser.

Incidentally, I don't care about the frats one way or the other. I was just making a point about reputation and the limited social aspect.

And don't pretend that I'm the only person in the world awful and shallow enough to wonder if belonging to an social organization w/ a bad name and mediocre social opportunities is worth my time, effort, and money. Friendship is great and all, but as someone else pointed out, I could make friends on my own that I woudln't have to dish out a couple thousand dollars a year for.

Oh, and I'm not quite sure you totally *got* the gist of James' post.

[WCUgirl]

Originally posted by BobbyTheDon
Screw it. Just drop. Who says you can't still be involved in greek life? Become a frat rat. Being a frat rat is like being a free agent, without paying dues, no girl drama and committment! If one fraternity is treating you bad, screw them (literally, not literally...) and hang out with their rival. Make all the sorority girls jealous when you are at a party and you can drink, while they can't because they are in letters.

Yeah!

I think this is the best advice given in the whole thread.

Does this thread not make anyone else hungry for Carvel ice cream cakes? I thought that awesome stuff in b/w layers is called crunchies....

[Lindz928]

Originally posted by crunchies


And this is University of Texas at Ausitn.

If you want to be in a sorority.... Stay where you are. If you re-rush, as a Junior.... Your odds of getting a bid are slim to none.

Seriously.

And by the way, at UT..... There are really no loser sororities. I believe almost every chapter there is very highly regarded by their national organizations.

This is a GREAT greek system.... I honestly think that you should feel lucky that you got a bid.

That said.... If you don't care about these girls that are now your sisters, and truly think that they are all "losers" then by all means drop.... As someone has said before, the chapter deserves better.

[OleMissGlitter]

It only takes one stronge pledge class to change a reputation. Get your best sisters together and change their reputation on campus.